Favorite lines you've written

BethS said:

Clearly, the apple of your eye has not fallen far from the daddy tree. I love it. Hope the college does, too.

Is that her in your avatar pic? She is very beautiful. What are the awards she's holding and wearing?

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Yep, that's her at an awards ceremony Monday night on her birthday. The audience sang Happy Birthday to her! That was kinda cool.

TV Production Student of the Year, Best Reporting Feature, A Top Ten Student in her graduating class, Florida Student Press Association (FSPA) Chairperson for 2014-2015.

Truth be told, PandaSon is the most talented writer in the family. Unfortunately, he doesn't actually like writing, though.

PandaMan said:

Yep, that's her at an awards ceremony...

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Good job, PandaDad.

Katharine Tree said:

Malcolm's white teeth showed. “Two out of three’s not bad.”

His hands—unbound—shot up and hit the Guard under the chin with a sickening crunch.

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I punched the air and said "yay Malcolm!" at this point

PandaMan said:

TV Production Student of the Year, Best Reporting Feature, A Top Ten Student in her graduating class, Florida Student Press Association (FSPA) Chairperson for 2014-2015.

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Well, that's impressive.

Give PandaSon time. He may come to it later.

BethS said:

Heh heh. I like it. And how nice to see you here!

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I don't have a lot of awesome single lines. I always feel so inadequate when I see others posting their clever, snarky, witty dialog lines or their gorgeous, evocative description. My prose tends towards the lean and matter of fact

I'm not sure how it'll come across to all of you, but I like it. My favorite line in my WIP is as follows:

If light was this city's curse, then sound was it's redemption.

Roxxsmom said:

I don't have a lot of awesome single lines. I always feel so inadequate when I see others posting their clever, snarky, witty dialog lines or their gorgeous, evocative description. My prose tends towards the lean and matter of fact

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Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Lots of people like that style, so change that frown into a smile.

Zelbacon said:

I'm not sure how it'll come across to all of you, but I like it. My favorite line in my WIP is as follows:

If light was this city's curse, then sound was it's redemption.

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I like it. I know nothing about this city, but it makes me curious about how light and sound affect the city.

autumnleaf said:

Sometimes when I'm feeling discouraged, I reread this paragraph to remind myself that I can actually write:

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When he closed his eyes, he could still see the fire flickering on his lids and warming his cheeks. The music glowed within his chest, rose into his throat and swam out into the room. The notes mingled with the smoke; the words threaded through licks of flame. He had them all in his net: the old man with the pipe, Nell with her fists on her hips, the bearded spoon-player and his stilled hand. They belonged to him, and he belonged to the song, to the flame-shadows on the wall, to the inhaled breath and heartbeat of everyone who listened.

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Oh, I like this a lot. You created a nice mood.

BethS said:

If we're doing visceral...

This is a rape, but not a physical one.

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So, what kind of rape is this? A mind, spirit, soul rape, of some sort? I'll bet it was difficult to write.

It's excellent writing as usual.

PandaMan said:

Thanks! I first tasted papaya in Bali back in 1990 and have loved it ever since. Kohtalo and Olana's culture is loosely based on Balinese culture too. The Balinese live and breathe stories at a far deeper level than we do. They are incredibly beautiful people!

Puja, huh? I'm currently writing a puja scene for my WIP, although I don't call it that. Are you Hindu, Buddhist, Jain, Sikh, or some combo? I studied Indian culture a lot as an undergrad back in the early 1980's. Now that's another fascinating culture.

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It’s hard to define what I am. I was born into a spiritual community/cult (depending on how you look at it). From what I understand, the belief system and rituals could be considered a branch of Hinduism. Growing up, I lived in California, Fiji, and Holland. By blood, I am a white American. Of course, all of those things have helped shape who I am.

I grew up going to puja everyday, along with meditation twice a day, chanting and a variety of other rituals. I’m not associated with the community I grew up with anymore. Though I, too, am fascinated by the Indian culture, and I still share a lot the same belief systems, and I feel very much at home among the Indian culture.

The Balinese culture sounds like my kind of people, too. I can so much relate to their relationships to stories.

Sorry it took so long to answer. I’m way behind on this thread, due to work commitments. I should have some free time this weekend to catch up some more.

Roxxsmom said:

I don't have a lot of awesome single lines. I always feel so inadequate when I see others posting their clever, snarky, witty dialog lines or their gorgeous, evocative description. My prose tends towards the lean and matter of fact

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Don't sell yourself short. Lean and matter-of-fact can still say interesting and deep things.

Zelbacon said:

I'm not sure how it'll come across to all of you, but I like it. My favorite line in my WIP is as follows:

If light was this city's curse, then sound was it's redemption.

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That's intriguing. I'd be curious to know how that works.

PandaMan said:

So, what kind of rape is this? A mind, spirit, soul rape, of some sort?
I'll bet it was difficult to write.

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The difficult part is explaining this. It's clearer in context, but in short, certain people have what they refer to as a gift, which is meant more in the sense of an endowment or an inheritance, rather than a talent, although that applies, too.

These gifts are elemental and metaphysical in nature, though physically rooted inside them (somewhere behind the breastbone, actually). It's possible for a gifted person to touch another's gift, in a loving way, or to seduce and manipulate, or to cause pain, or to bind it and take control of it. In this case, he entered hers very forcibly, and he was also able to enter her mind. What is being described there is how it felt to her, as well as her perception of what he was doing--which was that he was ripping the gift out of her. That means death will follow shortly, because the gift is inextricably linked to the soul.

Zelbacon said:

I'm not sure how it'll come across to all of you, but I like it. My favorite line in my WIP is as follows:

If light was this city's curse, then sound was it's redemption.

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Intriguing. I like!

BethS said:

The difficult part is explaining this. It's clearer in context, but in short, certain people have what they refer to as a gift, which is meant more in the sense of an endowment or an inheritance, rather than a talent, although that applies, too.

These gifts are elemental and metaphysical in nature, though physically rooted inside them (somewhere behind the breastbone, actually). It's possible for a gifted person to touch another's gift, in a loving way, or to seduce and manipulate, or to cause pain, or to bind it and take control of it. In this case, he entered hers very forcibly, and he was also able to enter her mind. What is being described there is how it felt to her, as well as her perception of what he was doing--which was that he was ripping the gift out of her. That means death will follow shortly, because the gift is inextricably linked to the soul.

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Oh man, Beth. That's tragic. She knows her fate, then. There has to be a way to . . . just tell us if she somehow . . .

BethS said:

The difficult part is explaining this. It's clearer in context, but in short, certain people have what they refer to as a gift, which is meant more in the sense of an endowment or an inheritance, rather than a talent, although that applies, too.

These gifts are elemental and metaphysical in nature, though physically rooted inside them (somewhere behind the breastbone, actually). It's possible for a gifted person to touch another's gift, in a loving way, or to seduce and manipulate, or to cause pain, or to bind it and take control of it. In this case, he entered hers very forcibly, and he was also able to enter her mind. What is being described there is how it felt to her, as well as her perception of what he was doing--which was that he was ripping the gift out of her. That means death will follow shortly, because the gift is inextricably linked to the soul.

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Fascinating. Thanks for sharing this with us. The excerpt was intense, to say the least.

kkbe said:

Oh man, Beth. That's tragic. She knows her fate, then. There has to be a way to . . . just tell us if she somehow . . .

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Now what fun would that be?

Oh what the heck. First, death is not immediate. Could take a few months. And second, maybe, just maybe, her perceptions are not quite reliable...

BethS said:

The difficult part is explaining this. It's clearer in context, but in short, certain people have what they refer to as a gift, which is meant more in the sense of an endowment or an inheritance, rather than a talent, although that applies, too.

These gifts are elemental and metaphysical in nature, though physically rooted inside them (somewhere behind the breastbone, actually). It's possible for a gifted person to touch another's gift, in a loving way, or to seduce and manipulate, or to cause pain, or to bind it and take control of it. In this case, he entered hers very forcibly, and he was also able to enter her mind. What is being described there is how it felt to her, as well as her perception of what he was doing--which was that he was ripping the gift out of her. That means death will follow shortly, because the gift is inextricably linked to the soul.

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Ah! Now I get it a lot better. I was a bit confused by the nature of the rape and her extreme reaction to it *ducks* Thanks for clearing that up! In context, it's really pretty horrible.. and well-done.

I got another, added in a 1000th revision:

He hadn't expected to be passed around between more than a handful of men, or to get drunker than a career alcoholic. With his sober attention span ranging from zero to potato, he had lost count of his drinks at cabbage.

BethS said:

Now what fun would that be?

Oh what the heck. First, death is not immediate. Could take a few months. And second, maybe, just maybe, her perceptions are not quite reliable...

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Thank you, Beth. And the plot thickenth. . .

NaeimGiladisLegacy said:

With his sober attention span ranging from zero to potato, he had lost count of his drinks at cabbage.

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*giggles*

BethS said:

Oh what the heck. First, death is not immediate. Could take a few months. And second, maybe, just maybe, her perceptions are not quite reliable...

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Oooh. Interesting. Totally works.

(Also amusing is the way I misread that, first time by: "First death is not immediate. ... Second death is not reliable.")

NaeimGiladisLegacy said:

He hadn't expected to be passed around between more than a handful of men, or to get drunker than a career alcoholic. With his sober attention span ranging from zero to potato, he had lost count of his drinks at cabbage.

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Whoops!! No more revising drinking for you!

Reziac said:

Oooh. Interesting. Totally works.

(Also amusing is the way I misread that, first time by: "First death is not immediate. ... Second death is not reliable.")



Whoops!! No more revising drinking for you!

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Not till the next paycheck, nope...

Kallithrix said:

As you wish

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Westley, is that you?

I've never read the Princess Bride. I want to, but I have a sort of fear of reading it, in case it messes with my love of the film.

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I hadn't thought about that. Sometimes it's best not to mess with a good thing. Now I'm a little worried.

On the other hand, I couldn't bring myself to read Neverending Story even if I wanted to - that film both scared the crap out of me (the wolf thing) and made me cry my eyes out (when the horsey died) when I was a kid. We're not just talking a bit upset here, we're talking YEARS of trauma that still resides somewhere deep in my psyche to this day. A while ago it was on TV, and I thought I'd watch it again just to prove it had no affect on me anymore. OMG, I was under the duvet quaking like a puppy in a thunderstorm, and I couldn't sleep with the lights off for weeks!

No way am I picking up that book! I can't afford the therapy...

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Oh dear, how could I forget about those scenes? I forgot how traumatic they were, especially the horse dying. But now that I'm thinking about it, wasn't the horse alive again at the end of the movie, once Fantasia was restored? Sebastian is flying over Fantasia on the dragon and he flies by Atreyu riding on his horse. I don't think I can read the book, if the horse actually dies. The wolf scene I could handle now, although, like the dragon at the end of Sleeping Beauty, I do remember the wolf terrifying me as a child.

Both movies, particularly Neverending Story, have given me a deep and abiding terror of quicksand.

Papaya said:

Both movies, particularly Neverending Story, have given me a deep and abiding terror of quicksand.

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Is the movie that different? Cuz I found the book borderline-dull, not scary.

I lived at a place where the yard turned to quicksand after heavy rain... good thing it was shallow (about 18 inches).