Favorite lines you've written

Reziac

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No clue who Vai is supposed to look like, though. :)

He was lifted, most of the name and all, from Vai Sikahema, well-known for his amusing craziness on the field. Now why can't I find any of his player pics? all kinds of recent ones, but his look now is different, all business.

Rez was filched from Don Sutton, but after his hair turned white, as inspired by a particular interview where Sutton was a little irked about something -- that's the tone that became the character.
 
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PandaMan

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OK, let's get this train back on the rails.

Darric, a Keldian, is a stranger in a strange land, the territory of the Culhnari people. The man he is speaking with, Kain, would as soon kill him as look at him, but there is a momentary truce in place. This is a discussion about some cultural differences.

That's a real nice buildup leading to the last two lines. It gave me chills too. You have a good feel on how to guide a reader through your scenes. Impressive!
 

Sonsofthepharaohs

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Darric, a Keldian, is a stranger in a strange land, the territory of the Culhnari people. The man he is speaking with, Kain, would as soon kill him as look at him, but there is a momentary truce in place.

Caught up by the easy flow of the conversation, I totally forgot they were supposed to be enemies... right up until that last line. Nice job of bringing that tension back to the fore by using the knife motif in a totally different context :)
 

Viridian

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@Beth: really enjoyed that scene. Is Kain a main character, secondary character, or background character? I like him a lot.

I love your skill with POV! For some reason I notice the technical stuff more than the cool stuff, so sorry if that sounds lame. It's like -- Kain isn't the POV character, but it's still very clear what he's thinking and feeling. Or, at least, we have a really clear picture of what Darric thinks Kain is thinking. All of these observations and feelings are wrapped up in Darric's opinions, and, and...

Gah. I don't know. But I like it. :)

Do they become pals, or do they murder each other later? I am painfully curious.
 

williemeikle

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First lines of a new story today and I rather like them.

"I thought it was all Carlos Castaneda, mescalin medicine man bollocks," the girl said as she wiped blood from her brow. "How was I to know the fucker really meant it?"
 

Katharine Tree

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First lines of a new story today and I rather like them.

"I thought it was all Carlos Castaneda, mescalin medicine man bollocks," the girl said as she wiped blood from her brow. "How was I to know the fucker really meant it?"

I like this. I only wish I knew who Carlos Castaneda was.
 

Katharine Tree

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Maybe I wasn’t thinking straight, but Cherry was. No doubt in my mind, that kid knew exactly what he was doing when he climbed into my van. I drove us to J. C. Penney because I didn’t want to be alone and later, when he took my fifty bucks—right, to ‘talk’—I’m pretty sure we both knew what was likely to happen; no, what was going to happen. By then, Cherry must’ve realized I was one seriously lonely fuck. He was in working mode.

Maybe he was banking on it.

I like this, too. Would like to read more.
 

Marlys

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First lines of a new story today and I rather like them.

"I thought it was all Carlos Castaneda, mescalin medicine man bollocks," the girl said as she wiped blood from her brow. "How was I to know the fucker really meant it?"

The kind of guys my sister dated in the '70s all read Castaneda. I never did, but I'd still stick with this--great start.
 

Reziac

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Revised reply: somebody needs to make a movie about this dude. Like, everybody who knew him DISAPPEARED within a year after his death? Their abandoned cars and bleached bones were found in the desert? WTF?

Isn't it obvious? I mean, no birth record, got-rich-quick books... He was an alien!
 

Katharine Tree

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Found a piece I had almost forgotten about--an alternate-timeline, what-if novella about the OTP from my first trilogy. Lord I love these two.

Crucial info: Alex is a Scot in America for the first time.

/////

The diner was glassed in on two sides and thickly hung with house plants. I talked Alex into sitting at a booth instead of the counter, so we could have a little privacy. To watch him order eggs was a small pleasure, and when he and the waitress finally came to terms on the question, he grinned after her with flummoxed delight. She had called him ‘hon’.

“I’m glad you got that figured out.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “Sunny side up!”
 

Brian P. White

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My zombie hero is asked about how she feels about skin color. Her response:

Code:
"What do I care?" she remarked.  "Everyone here would taste the same to me."

Okay, I really have A LOT of favorite lines, but I like that one every bit for its subtle wit as how equalizing it is.
 
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Isilya

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I like this.
"What do I care?" she remarked. "Everyone here would taste the same to me."


This conversation was fun to write.
T’Sait-Bracket and Jason were at the lone table having a discussion so animate T’Sait-Bracket’s tendrils had enveloped half the bench and the portside the table legs. I couldn't help but watch.
“You what?” Blood drained from Jason's face. “Why would you cut them off?”
“They get too long.”
“Ughh, please tell me you throw the…remains in the bio-disposal unit.”
“Why?”
“Aren't you’re fronds…isn't that how… Don’t you use those to reproduce?”
“Yes, but when they get too long I clip them,” it said with a measure of pride. “I sell them fresh to cooks on ITC2. They pay the most. Their restaurants serve them as delicacy.”
Jason clapped his hands over his mouth. "I'll never eat anything green from any of those restaurants ever again."
"It is fulfilling to be dispersed amongst so many. Especially friends."
Jason went from pale to sickly. “When you made dinner yesterday, you didn’t…?”
“Of course,” T’Sait-Bracket said, it's tendrils wrapping even tighter around the table leg. “Though since you had seconds that means we are now married.”
“What?”
"You will be a good cycle-mate."
"No no, I--"
"You don't want to begin a cycle with me," it asked, eyes glistening as it shaped its face to be more gentle, more innocent.
"It's just that I," Jason stammered. "I can't...."
T’Sait-Bracket snickered, it was more of a rustled chitter but it had the same effect. “Lani was correct, your facial expression made the lie most worth it," it said, voice crisp with joy. "And don’t worry. We are not married. You are still too squeamish."
 
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BethS

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@Beth: really enjoyed that scene. Is Kain a main character, secondary character, or background character? I like him a lot.

I love your skill with POV! For some reason I notice the technical stuff more than the cool stuff, so sorry if that sounds lame. It's like -- Kain isn't the POV character, but it's still very clear what he's thinking and feeling. Or, at least, we have a really clear picture of what Darric thinks Kain is thinking. All of these observations and feelings are wrapped up in Darric's opinions, and, and...

Gah. I don't know. But I like it. :)

Do they become pals, or do they murder each other later? I am painfully curious.

What a tremendous compliment about the use of POV. It's gratifying to know when something works. Thanks!

Kain is an important secondary character. He and Darric do become mortal enemies, for very personal reasons. There's a segment that takes place just after the scene I posted, at the banquet where the wedding is supposed to take place...
Darric heard the voice and caught the movement from the side of his eye. He looked up.

Moriana stood beside her father.

Darric had seen many beautiful women in his life, had shared his bed with a few of them, had planned to marry one of them.

None of them—not even Lorelli, with her rich gold hair and exceptional womanly attributes—had the same quality about her as Moriana, who lit up the very air around her with such intensity that his lungs squeezed with the effort of breathing. A mouthful of venison lay forgotten on his tongue.

She sank down next to her father, and settled her own plate in her lap. She wore a smoky gray dress made from some species of velvet-soft leather and sewn with a fortune in pearls, both white and the rarer black. More pearls adorned a headdress of tiny silver links that draped the glory of her hair like a dew‑spangled spider's web. Her face drew him—he found himself searching for something in her gray eyes, though he found only shadows there.

Until now he had assumed, in the vulnerability of pain and exhaustion, that he'd exaggerated her beauty in his mind, fixating on her the way a wounded man will when cared for by a pretty woman, a phenomenon he'd observed often enough among men under his command. And she was so young—barely older than Elyse. But still…

He remembered to chew again when he felt saliva begin to pool around his tongue. Kain and Baird were now both aiming ferocious stares him, or at least Baird's was ferocious. Kain showed no expression at all, but Darric felt a sudden urge for the comfort of a sword in his hand.

With an effort, he turned his attention back to his plate. He hoped Rodan appreciated what he was getting.
 

BethS

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First lines of a new story today and I rather like them.

"I thought it was all Carlos Castaneda, mescalin medicine man bollocks," the girl said as she wiped blood from her brow. "How was I to know the fucker really meant it?"

Well, that's got me curious.
 

BethS

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Found a piece I had almost forgotten about--an alternate-timeline, what-if novella about the OTP from my first trilogy. Lord I love these two.

Crucial info: Alex is a Scot in America for the first time.

/////

The diner was glassed in on two sides and thickly hung with house plants. I talked Alex into sitting at a booth instead of the counter, so we could have a little privacy. To watch him order eggs was a small pleasure, and when he and the waitress finally came to terms on the question, he grinned after her with flummoxed delight. She had called him ‘hon’.

“I’m glad you got that figured out.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “Sunny side up!”

Very engaging!
 

BethS

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That's a real nice buildup leading to the last two lines. It gave me chills too. You have a good feel on how to guide a reader through your scenes. Impressive!

Caught up by the easy flow of the conversation, I totally forgot they were supposed to be enemies... right up until that last line. Nice job of bringing that tension back to the fore by using the knife motif in a totally different context :)

Thanks to both of you! :)
 

Brian P. White

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Or how about this one, where (two years after the zombie plagued wiped out the world) a man is asked if he's ever been to New Orleans:

“Yeah, but I ain't goin' now,” Andre declared. “I don’t wanna see what a New Orleans jazz funeral looks like today.”
 

LadyA

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From the YA contemp that got me my agent *squeee*

======================================

Flynn’s playing is frantic, fierce, and I let the melody fill me, wash over me so that we are the only two people in the world, us and the song. I ache with every line, my words soar and swoop and I’m flying, flying, up high in the cold as the song takes over.

He is out there, in the crowd, one black thing of many, but we do not need him. We are powerful, solitary, together. My heart beats a tattoo in my chest as Flynn plays his last, stirring guitar solo, and we fall together into silence.
 

Reziac

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What a tremendous compliment about the use of POV. It's gratifying to know when something works. Thanks!

Yeah, seriously. It was almost like being in Kain's POV in spots, because what Darric gets from him is pretty intense. Not confusing at all -- rather, more character from POV than is usual. Like being caught between two spears.

Kain is an important secondary character. He and Darric do become mortal enemies, for very personal reasons. There's a segment that takes place just after the scene I posted, at the banquet where the wedding is supposed to take place...

Something is about to Happen, I think... Poor Rodan!

Or how about this one, where (two years after the zombie plagued wiped out the world) a man is asked if he's ever been to New Orleans:

Haha, loved both this and the previous line. Distinct characters from a single line apiece!