Sorry to hear about the R, Moon! Hang in there and have a great birthday!
I agree, Mad, that "abrasive voice" is very subjective and might be a bracing or refreshing or funny voice to other readers. Sometimes I read a bunch of reviews on Goodreads and feel like people aren't even describing the same narrator, yet they are.
And I firmly believe in not giving up on a ms. you still believe in. Right now I'm giving an extreme makeover to my book on sub. (Extreme as in a new protagonist.) It's still out to two editors, and if they like it in its current form, that's great. But if not, I'm going to see if my agent is willing to consider looking at the new and hopefully more marketable version. Maybe it's jumping the gun, but if he wants to keep sending out the old version, I'm fine with that, too.
Actually, as I write that, it sounds kind of crazy -- is it crazy? Basically I'm waiting for more Rs and for my agent to tell me whether he wants to keep subbing the book, before I propose anything. I figure I'll know in a month or two.