Allow me to attempt a rewrite of that earlier note:
------------------------------------------------
Hi,
I've never posted here before, but I just happened to run across this thread because I was using Google to learn more about a company that has already done for me what they promised. At this point, I have no real reason to care what others may say about them, because my role with them is nearly finished. Why was I looking them up after the fact if this is the case? I'm just a crazy cat that way.
In this, my first post, I will take your legitimate question as a slam against a company I am happy with. I will then proceed to become indignant and lash out with sarcasm about the original poster's ability to write a grammatically correct e-mail. This, I hope, will raise my credibility in your eyes.
I will then imply that the original poster is ignorant of the industry. This will make you trust me.
I only have one book in me, and my single manuscript has been rejected dozens of times. This makes me an expert which, in turn, makes me feel good about myself.
Though this is my first post, and though you've never heard of me, and though I've already become borderline insulting in my note to you, and though I've made both generalizations and statements of fact without offering to back them up, please don't suspect me of being affiliated with the company in question. My role with them is nearly over and they have done for me what they promised. Becoming indignant and defensive about this company, at this stage of the game, is only natural. Don't you think?
Yours truly,
- He who doth protest too much