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Thread: Turn-off/Gag me sex words.

  1. #526
    Benefactor Member Boston Steve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anacry View Post
    It's a penis damnit, call it a penis.
    Not in erotica it isn't, any more than a vagina is a vagina. Penis and vagina are clinical terms, not sexy ones. Nobody has ever said, in the heat of passion, "I need you to put your hard penis in my wet vagina, right now."

  2. #527
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Steve View Post
    Not in erotica it isn't, any more than a vagina is a vagina. Penis and vagina are clinical terms, not sexy ones. Nobody has ever said, in the heat of passion, "I need you to put your hard penis in my wet vagina, right now."
    Oh yeah?

  3. #528
    Benefactor Member Boston Steve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scarletpeaches View Post
    Oh yeah?
    Only you would take making that sound smexy as a challenge.





    Fricking submissives

  4. #529
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    Actually, how's this (to Purefoy): "I need you to put your hard, throbbing meatlizard in my forest of righteous truth and wiggle it about a bit until my ladygarden has a fizzy?"

  5. #530
    Retired Illuminatus dangerousbill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Steve View Post
    Not in erotica it isn't, any more than a vagina is a vagina. Penis and vagina are clinical terms, not sexy ones. Nobody has ever said, in the heat of passion, "I need you to put your hard penis in my wet vagina, right now."
    Um, ah...it may have happened.

    At least once, or maybe a few dozen times.
    Dangerous Bill

    'Lessons for a Dominant Woman' - A woman's journey, breaking out of the abused wife trap to enslaving her college professor. Romantic realistic femdom. A prequel to 'Lessons at the Edge' CAUTION: Explicit, 18+
    http://www.amazon.com/Lessons-Domina...=william+gaius

  6. #531
    Ruining your porn since 1984 BunnyMaz's Avatar
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    until my ladygarden has a fizzy
    I've... never heard it called that before o_O
    RIP Taihg. I can't believe it's been a year already.

    More Taihg. Because he was awesome.

  7. #532
    Benefactor Member Boston Steve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BunnyMaz View Post
    I've... never heard it called that before o_O
    They don't talk proper up in Scotland, don'cha know.

  8. #533
    Ruining your porn since 1984 BunnyMaz's Avatar
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    I mean, have I been doing it wrong? I didn't know things were supposed to start frothing down there...

    Should I start putting popping candy up there?

    RIP Taihg. I can't believe it's been a year already.

    More Taihg. Because he was awesome.

  9. #534
    Freeway stomper extraordinaire Sarah Madara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BunnyMaz View Post
    I mean, have I been doing it wrong? I didn't know things were supposed to start frothing down there...

    Should I start putting popping candy up there?

    Great. Now I can't get the image out of my head of Pop Rocks and Coke making a vagina explode, just like poor Mikey's stomach.

  10. #535
    Benefactor Member Boston Steve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BunnyMaz View Post
    I mean, have I been doing it wrong? I didn't know things were supposed to start frothing down there...

    Should I start putting popping candy up there?

    *recommends against this approach*


  11. #536
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    That's why it's called a candy shop.

  12. #537
    Imagined half of it. Bookewyrme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Madara View Post
    Great. Now I can't get the image out of my head of Pop Rocks and Coke making a vagina explode, just like poor Mikey's stomach.
    Me too, Sarah. Meeee too.
    Lia Wolff
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  13. #538
    Ruining your porn since 1984 BunnyMaz's Avatar
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    Nah it'd be cool. It wouldn't explode, but it'd make a good party trick.


    The Human BottleRocket.

    Also known as the Human Yeast Infection Factory.

    ...On second thoughts...
    RIP Taihg. I can't believe it's been a year already.

    More Taihg. Because he was awesome.

  14. #539
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    There are titty bars in Thailand that show that very thing.

  15. #540
    Benefactor Member Boston Steve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BunnyMaz View Post
    Also known as the Human Yeast Infection Factory.

    ...On second thoughts...
    *reiterates recommendation against this approach*





    Quote Originally Posted by scarletpeaches View Post
    There are titty bars in Thailand that show that very thing.
    I don't even want to know how you know that.


  16. #541
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    Bradley Cooper told me.

  17. #542
    Needs More Hands.... Fallen's Avatar
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    Screw reading erotica, give me this thread anyday.
    Last edited by Fallen; 06-11-2011 at 01:04 AM.

  18. #543
    figuring it all out soccerloves101's Avatar
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    Climax. idk why. i think it pertains more to books lol

  19. #544
    Angelic by name, fiendish by nature Reservoir Angel's Avatar
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    I will say this once: anybody calling a vagina a "Velvet Tardis" can never be taken seriously.

    and yes, I've heard it called that in a work that was intended to be serious
    "He would see this country burn if he could be King of the Ashes."

  20. #545
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    Bigger on the inside than it appeared from the outside?

  21. #546
    Let's see what's on special today.. Bufty's Avatar
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    I don't know what I'm doing in this area or how I got here - that's my excuse anyway - but thanks for the laughs, guys!

    Quote Originally Posted by scarletpeaches View Post
    Bigger on the inside than it appeared from the outside?
    That's loosely speaking, of course, scarlett.
    Last edited by Bufty; 06-13-2011 at 05:36 PM.
    Everything yields to treatment.

  22. #547
    practical experience, FTW lyael's Avatar
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    Anacry--You don't like the word 'cock'? It's by far my favorite word for penis...all those lovely hard consonants.

  23. #548
    Needs More Hands.... Fallen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lyael View Post
    Anacry--You don't like the word 'cock'? It's by far my favorite word for penis...all those lovely hard consonants.
    Lol, it's a daily term of affection here: you alright, cock? so, semantically, it loses its force on me too. Just makes me snigger...
    Last edited by Fallen; 06-13-2011 at 03:25 PM. Reason: why...

  24. #549
    Angelic by name, fiendish by nature Reservoir Angel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scarletpeaches View Post
    Bigger on the inside than it appeared from the outside?
    I assume that's what they meant. Either way, it meant I couldn't watch Doctor Who with a straight face for a short while after hearing it.
    "He would see this country burn if he could be King of the Ashes."

  25. #550
    Quote Originally Posted by scarletpeaches View Post
    Describing a penis as a 'poking pole' is not sexy.

    That is all.
    Nor is 'throbbing manhood' which is a phrase my wife's romance/sex novels always use. It brings to mind kicks to the groin, ice packs, and two weeks on the couch begging to die.

    Throbbing? Do these women have Supergirl's vision capabilities? Can they see the man's pulse and blood pressure? I picture a bad 50s sci-fi film with some sort of alien with big veins over its head pulsing up and down thanks to some off-camera sfx person squeezing a rubber siphon bulb. It conjures the sound of a heartbeat. Seems ripe for an Edgar Allen Poe reboot, such as The Telltale Schlong.

    If it could throb as the phrase implies, well, the local adult store would have not a single toy on the shelves because there would be no need. I'm sure someone would have trained theirs to buzz and vibrate as well. And likely as not, every male would die within six months of puberty because their blood pressure would have to be 400 over 200.

    Funny, but not a turn on.

    Come to think of it, I should use it as a story title. The Case of the Throbbing Manhood. Or The Throbbing Manhood from Mars.
    Currently reading: Objectivism: The Philosophy of Ayn Rand, Leonard Peikoff

    Writing a book and publishing most of it online as I go: Outpost Earth

    Twittering, sadly...

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