I received a submission from Cris Robins "Senior Literary Agent" today pitching a, well I don't know what it is as the submission is a PDF file I have not yet opened and the cover letter doesn't give a word count.

How totally inappropriate is this submission? Let me count the ways:

1) Eggplant Literary Productions currently only accepts novellas, does not pay an advance, and does not require an agent.

2) Reading the guidelines would have immediately clued the "agent" into the fact that I only accept attachments as RTF and TXT files.

2a) Speaking of guidelines, none of the other information that I request is in the cover letter: word count, author contact information, etc. Hrm. Let's see what happens when I open the PDF file (don't worry, I have firewall and anti-virus protection so the file has a clean bill of health). Nope, no information, but now looking at the page count and the synopsis it appears that I'm being pitched a short story. *boggles*

3) While EP is doing pretty well in e-books sales, it's not enough money yet to justify a legitimate agent's troubles in submission. (And did I mention that we don't require agented submissions?)

*sigh* This is just plain old stupid silly. I have half a mind to hunt down the author and educate her on what her "agent" is doing for her.

And yesterday I received an invitation to search Yet Another Display Site.

It's been a bad day. I'm grumpy as hell. And I'm starting to wonder if my name has been added to some chump list that circulates in the lower circle of Hades that scammers inhabit.

Anyone thinking of signing with the Cris Robins agency, be warned, your works are being pitched to the completely wrong market.