Last goes first:

"Form dough into 1-inch balls" is a phrase from the recipe for making Martha Stewart's "Chocolate Charms" cookies.

Cookies are known to crumble in unexpected ways.

Ways and Means is the chief tax-writing committee of the House of Representative.

Representative of certain warlords is not always a good thing to be.

'Be Yourself', a song by Audioslave, is a beautiful expression of the human condition.

"Condition Red" is a catch-all phrase that can indicate varioius kinds of dangers.

Dangers of drinking and driving include manslaughter, personal injury, destruction of public and private property, to name a few. Wake up and smell the coffee. It's not worth it. Choose to be sober.

Sober-minded people are more easy to get on with than others.

Others might disagree.

Disagree with me and you are off to the principal--this only holds for eight hours on weekdays.

Weekdays can seem tedious. That's why everybody's working for the weekend.

Weekends are often busier than weekdays.

Weekdays suck.

Suck they do, like Charybdis, but without a paycheck the five headed debt monster will eat you alive.

Charybdis sucks much worse than weekdays, or so I'm told.

"Told you," said Barry to his wife, "they've both been married before."

"Before the Parade Passes By" is a song from Hello Dolly.

Dollywood is not on my Bucket List.

List all of the things you have to do so everything will get done.

"Done for the day?" the boss asked the clerk who was packing up to leave.

"Leave something to the imagination" is good advice when dressing for a date.

Date books are helpful to some but for others they just end up behind the sofa cushions.

Cushions are recommended when you attempt a parachute jump from the roof of your house.

House rules state that a) jumping from the roof is at your own risk, b) jumping from the roof is mandatory.

Mandatory meetings are a nuance at best.