Index to Learn Writing with Uncle Jim

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451. Google desktop search

452. Research hints

453. More about research

454. Request about Murder by Magic

455. References a blog reporting a story about a writer who was raided
(note, you'll have to cut and paste the link (like most of the links from posts ported over from the old ezBoard) and I had to add "www". It takes you to the blog but you have to scroll down to nearly the bottom of the page to find the proper post - finding the date of the post, Oct. 24th, makes it easier)

456. A worthwhile contest (had to enter by Nov 2004)

457. Luck

458. Dealing with distraction

459. Link to guidelines for a possible new market (note: submission period apparently ended March 21st 2005 -- but the site has some good stuff anyway, IMHO)

460. Payscale offered in the above-mentioned link

461. Niven's laws for writers (post 2399, btw)

462. Depicting emotions

463. Read with hi-lighter in hand

464. Writing licensed work (a.k.a.: tie-ins, like Star Wars novels)

465. Pseudonym choice

466. Apparently the thread got locked up on Nov. 17th? Mentions a "Son of Uncle Jim" and indexing again, too.

467. Link to Holly Black's Writing Resources

468. Well wishes

469. Tie-ins (see #464) Uncle Jim has done

470. Writing numbers and the titles of Uncle Jim's two Tom Swift novels

471. Uncle Jim doesn't mind people making a personal copy for personal use of the "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim" thread.

472. The master rule

473. Does the date a manuscript arrive make any difference?

474. Link to a discussion about writing sex scenes

475. Two examples (via link) of rule breaking in the visual arts

Well, the end is getting closer! I may catch up to current events before the weekend is out.
 

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526. The Whole Magic Secret to Getting Published

527. Small publisher royalties

528. Submitting to publishers vs. agents

529. Debunking the "Grisham self-published" myth, how Grisham actually got famous

530. Some tidbits of advice relating to an upthread comment about writing what you like to read, outlining and doing whatever it takes

531. Single vs. double space after a period at the end of a sentence, link to a story dubbed "charming" from The Onion (note: The Onion archives are only searchable with premium subscription, when I tried copy/paste on the link I got a 'sorry, page not found' reply and didn't find a cached verision using Google, either.)

532. Chess as one way of thinking about novels

533. Analysing your novel

534. Suggested excercise on fattening one's writing

535. Writing vs. thinking about writing, write, finish and revise (post 2908)

536. Announces: Travis Tea's Atlanta Nights (Feb. 2nd., '05)

537. More about Atlanta Nights

538. The only two real questions in writing

539. Short welcoming post

540. Possible meaning of "we like the story but it needs more work"

541. Lo-carb version of the Key Lime Pie recipe (see my #91 upthread for the original Key Lime Pie posts)

542. Atlanta Nights makes the LA Times (note:I get a page not found and no Google cache on this one. There were numerous mentions of this and other articles in the "Neverending PA Thread" in the Background Checks and Bewares forum with excerpts IIRC)

543. Link to "a great article" about marketing done for publishers

545. Imprints and a story about Uncle James in his younger days

546. Author's real name vs. pen name choice

547. More on authors' names

548. First post on the new board! Note: Uncle Jim brought over posts inside of this post, some were his - I can't put those in separate links. Topics covered by Uncle Jim: His Live Journal, ABM, Advice about publishers and where to submit, for whom the reviewer works.

549. A post asking when the new board goes live. Apparently there was posting going on behind our backs! ;)

550. Another 'behind the scenes' post


That last one was posted Feb. 12th, '05 during the board transition. More writing lesson threads to come soon.
 
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I see I have some catching up to do with less than one month gone by since I last posted to this index. This post will be a bit longer than usual since it's intended to bring the index up to date.

If you haven't been back to the first post you might want to note that I have put some 'highlight' posts at the top. For example, rather than go all the way through the index to find the post on the Celtic Knotwork method you can just go to the first post and it will be at the top of the page.

If there are other posts you'd like me to move up there, PM me please and let me know.

Edit: fixed the numbers

640. Who should tell the story, rather than how

641. An excerpt edited by Uncle Jim (original version posted here)

642. Continue through to the finish, then reshape

643. Where the story begins

644. Supporting the comments in the post above it about a successful book by an AW member

645. Link to a Live Journal post "Authorial Worries"

646. When in the processs of writing a first novel do you start shopping it around?

647. Shopping the second novel

648. Answers to various questions about using an agent, novel length

649. What to do with the finished first draft

650. What to do when a character's whole backstory changes mid-way through your novel

651. Link that illustrates (humorously) the interaction between a writer and his character

652. A revealing look at a fun technique Uncle Jim uses in the first draft of his writing

653. Revising as you go

654. Finding time to write

655. Advice to someone writing a very long novel (see question upthread)

656. A follow up to the above advice on picking what to write

657. The value of friends in high places in publishing

658. Agents, Slushkiller link

659. Follow guidelines and keep writing

660. Starting back up after taking a break from writing

661. Writing a scene that occurs later in the book

662. Link to a blog post "Varieties of Insanity Known to Affect Authors"

663. What an author can afford (brief post, humorous)

664. Groupies

665. More about groupies

666. Storytime continuing the groupie theme

667. Burning the first novel

668. Info Dump advice

669. Uncle Jim shares part of a published story with much commentary on how it was written and what he was doing while writing it

670. Requesting information from a person who posted an excerpt regarding what she would like Uncle Jim to do with it

671. Uncle Jim's 'twiddles' -- first cut

672. Uncle Jim explains some of the twiddling

673. POV, refers to Celtic Knot exercise for question about complex plotting

674. Backstory going into the first scene of a story to discuss downthread

675. Getting a good ending in mind

676. Line by line through the scene (see #404)

677. Write it now

678. Discussing the Celtic Knot

679. Where the beginning belongs

680. An ode to BIC and a warning about the fickleness of the Muse

681. Thanks and a progress report

682. More on Celtic Knot

683. Further Celtic Knot details

684. Welcomes a new reader to the thread

685. Don't explain, show,"and then" rears it's head again

686. Another brief note about "and then"

687. Brief example of don't explain, show

688. Further on showing v. telling

689. Over and out

690. Submission advice and a brief word about dialogue

691. A tiny bit of insight into Uncle Jim's writing career

692. First novels

693. Can you call it a novel?

694. Recycling a story

695. Quick query about an upthread question

696. How far along is the book?

697. Encourages finishing the WIP

698. A suggestion for 'road testing' characters in the ongoing discussion from upthread about a WIP with a large number of characters

699. Further clarification of the road testing idea

And I leave you with the same advice Uncle Jim gives in the last post on the thread (for now):

700. Go BIC.
 
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The "next couple of days" was over 2 weeks ago! yikes. Let's see how far I can get this weekend.

711. Pope Jim?

712. More Wacky Romans - a writing challenge/assignment

713. Tips on POV from a question upthread

714. A Marketing Plan in Rhyme

715. Link to the Locus poll (now closed)

716. Under what category will it be shelved?

717. Line by Line on description using a bit of the song "The Gambler"

718. Promotion

719. Got it!

710. How long should it sit in the desk drawer?

711. A suggested re-write of a sentence posted upthread

712. How many words per day for BIC?

713. The common term for spreading out the 'info dump' over the course of a story

714. Heinlein's advice about revisions

715. BIC - how many hours?

716. The dread mid-book

717. The trunk full of unfinished novels

718. POV, consistency, don't confuse the readers

719. A good thing

720. A suggested change in wording

721. Encouraging words

722. the "-ly" tip

723. The "adverb catch and release" program

724. How important is it?

725. Use the best tools

726. Try it, see if it works

727. Bad things can happen to good authors

728. On rules for novel writing

729. The Hot and Sour Soup assignment

730. After the "-ly" exercise what to look for next

731. Some excellent advice

732. Reading aloud

733. The rise of fantasy

734. Location of the slushpile & new authors

735. Short reply post (and post #4003)

I don't like these posts to get to long, so I'll submit and continue in the next one. We're in mid-May on the thread, won't be many more posts to catch up to date.
 
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762. Example of a book where the first person narrator dies at the end

763. Use an appropriate amount of detail to regulate pace

764. What readers asking for more of your work means

765. Mostly first person Stephen King book

766. First novel author Kostova hits it big

767. More info on the big advance for first novel writer Kostova

768. Oprah's Book Club

769. twisty little maze of messageboards (and read upthread one post for a link to a great essay)

770. Liam's book and the Lulu Experiment

771. Opinion of No Plot, No Problem and link to Evil Overlord Plot Generator

772. Do readers care?

773. Do what's best for your story, link to (and quote from) RWA definition of romance

774. Go to the conference, listen, network

775. BEA after action report link - TOR Giant Weiner Costume

776. Upthread poster gets invititation to submit MS, Jim inquires as to poster's submission status

777. Next steps after submission

778. Beware pique

779. Readers reaction to description

780. Story trumps everything

781. Styles change, stories are eternal

782. Handwriting ms, endpoint in mind at the start, reference to positional chess plotting (see index's 1st post for a link)

783. Why experienced writers help new writers, homework for the rest of your life

784. What you should write

785. Welcome to a new poster

786. Dialog, Woo Hoo!

787. Dialog tags - don't confuse the reader

788. Link to Uncle Jim story (audio format)

789. About series books

790. The 7 point and 3 point plot outlines

791. An Assignment!

792. em-dash v. ellipsis and Chicago Manual of Style

793. Some notes on the assignment given above

794. Covers

795. More about covers

796. Blurbs

797. Blurb writer's salary vs. slush reader's salary

798. Eating, drinking, going to the bathroom

799. When does it matter?

800. Brief comments on upthread discussions

801. Technical advice on reading the thread

802. Bullets (the kind you fire from a gun)

803. Query letter
 

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Have you missed me?

804. Formatting a submission, link to a review of an older book

805. Mixing up names on submissions

806. Font

807. Link to an article on Making Light called "What Publishing Is"

808. Synopsis

809. Anecdotes about submitting to a Literary Agent

810. Have a "running head" with your name on every page

811. More about the lost author info

812. Use of "reply all" and the word funny

813. Link to "Researching the Historical Novel"

814. Just sell the one book

815. Example link about brevity

816. What you can assume about any novel

817. Synopsis provides insight into a possible problem in a novel

818. Maybe story starts at the wrong place

819. A peek into the mind of JK Rowling as she adds backstory

820. Assignments!! (Happy Fourth of July and Canada Day Weekend)

821. This is the 4500th post - Remark on the efficacy of the Logical Chess exercise

822. Strength of prose as relates to strength of story

823. Uncle Jim's desire to write a story using previous post's list of no-no's

824. Average YA novel length

825. Believer in finishing works

826. Clarifying Heinlein's rule about not revising

827. Whose opinion counts

828. Clarifying an Orwell rule

829. Bringing readers closer to characters

830. More about the characters

831. Write bios or not? Use what works for you

832. Choosing the right word, meaning and context

833. Filecards per character

834. Link to a thread about Agents Charging Fees

835. Time for a beta reader

836. Questions about an author's old YA books

837. More on the above

838. And a little bit more as well

839. Advice to someone re-thinking what they've written, link to an article

840. Beta readers, Delacourt's YA contest

841. What category a book is called is up to the marketing dept.

842. Story dating

843. A joke

844. Make BIC time for new and BIC time for revisions

845. Brown the Tragedian

846. Making sure the MS is really ready for the beta readers

847. Practice skills to obtain them

848. Brag on a student link

849. Link to other works by Viable Paradise students

850. Start your next one today, consistency is key

851. Recommended reading links

852. On using recommendations in a query letter

853. Thank you and a brief comment on the coming hurricane

854. Book that isn't written isn't read or sold

855. Advice to writer with two novels vying for BIC time



I wanted to come out of my role as someone who is just linking to Jim's posts and editorialize a bit. I would like to suggest you read Mark Pettus's posts from here downward. He's a student of Jim's and I believe expresses well how anyone who has benefitted from Jim's selfless gift of these lessons feels.


Again, I hope these index posts are helpful. If you find a broken one or have any comments, please PM me.
 

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Happy Holidays! Time for an update with a fresh new assignment, too!

Hello fellow students of James D. Macdonald. Yes, I haven't updated in nearly 4 months. But let's put that behind us now!

856. Where to look for information on stats/trends in publishing

857. What to look for in a beta reader

858. More about the "ideal beta reader"

859. Some general advice to would be novelists

860. Royalties and reserve against returns

861. Pricing books

862. Read other writers with your writer mind

863. When to send your novel out (with a link to The Unstrung Harp; or, Mr. Earbrass Writes a Novel)

864. About sending out a revised work that's made the rounds before

865. Formatting question - Follow the Guidelines!

866. Uncle Jim's Line by Line of a first page suggested in this post

867. Style vs. Story in the line by line

868. Definition of Gothic

869. A quiz: "What Kind of Regency Hero are You?"

870. Jim reveals some personal information

871. Regarding copyright questions

872. Facepalm and Troy in Fifteen Minutes link

873. Wordcount guidance for novel length works (be sure to read question upthread)

874. More on wordcount (this time about actually counting words)

875. COCOA petition link

876. Boasting on fellow Viable Paradise instructor

877. About some Viable Paradise alumni

878. A west coast workshop Jim did, focus of Viable Paradise

879. Short form vs. Long - no writing is wasted

880. Something Jim wrote gets mentioned on BBC

881. On a writer's productivity

Editorial Note: Some posts were lost in the host migration. There was one of Jim's in that group and they were all copied and re-posted - but the only way I could do it was inside of a post of my own. Scroll to the middle to see Jim's post mentioned above.

882. Three things you should know about publishing

883. Dept of Labor's description of "Writer"

884. On the job training

885. Plug for Making Light's nomination as Best Blog '05

886. Assignment due Dec. 25th 2005

887. A Prologue from way upthread upon which Uncle Jim will do a line by line

888. The line by line

889. Link to an inside peek at a publisher's office

890. Workmanlike writing - moving the story along

891. Explains "dialog is privileged"

892. A grammar joke

893. Taking a look at the opening to A Christmas Carol (line by line follows)
 

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921. About waiting to resolve unexplained conversation or references

922. Details about some of the "25 rules" posted earlier

923. Header formatting

924. Subplots that don't advance the main plot

925. More on formatting submissions

926. Everything needs to support the theme, advance the plot, or reveal character

927. And more on formatting submissions

928. Scene break hash mark formatting

929. Complaints about scene switching

930. Number of manuscripts in each category of subs to Viable Paradise

931. Capitalizing, The Peter Crossman book of short stories available at Lulu

932. About rights

933. "Something useful to tell a person" method of instruction

934. Short story vs novel

935. Amazon comments

936. Opinions on Macdonald's books

937. Using names of public persons, song titles

938. Points to cover in a query letter

939. Link to blogpost with good advice

940. Offsite backup of your MS - don't worry about theft

941. More about MS theft

942. Viable Paradise subs

943. Next step in recent writing exercise (see #886)

944. About submissions, acknowledgement postcards, simultaneous submissions

945. Noting 'simultaneous sub' on a cover letter, don't include your rejection slips

946. Long-ish post chock full of advice about simultaneous submissions to agents/publishers

947. Submitting multiple stories to same market

948. RITA-eligible publishers from the RWA website

949. Poetry publishing

950. Writing short stories vs novels, follow your heart

I'm going to post these now, since I spent quite a while on them earlier, lost the whole thing somehow right at this point and I don't want to do it all over for a third time :D

I'll be back with more soon
 

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976. A thank you post

977. An inside look at publishing

978. Proprioception

979. What are novellas more like - novels or short stories?

980. On sending a partial of an unfinished novel

981. Link to devilish rejections

982. Using strings of numbers, "somehow" and workshop comments

983. The best way to tell if you've started your novel in the wrong place

984. Link to a LiveJournal post showing how one figures out how many words are in a ms & how many printed pages that comes to

985. Link to a site full of old, odd and outdated words

986. A new "first two pages" post

987. Advice on whether to focus on plot or character

988. Line by line of the above "first two pages"

989. Comment on the "first two pages"

990. How to tell that the characters know they're characters in a novel

991. Getting the info into the story - is it really necessary?

992. The "first two pages" title revealed, two fun quizzes

993. Clarification question in response to a post about English vs American spelling and punctuation

994. Be consistent and make your story compelling

995. The big difference between English and American punctuation, consistency revisited, the genius exception

996. Third person omnipresent POV

997. Discussion about the author's role in publicizing books

998. Standards for synopses, queries, etc.

999. Where to put punctuation when using single quotes inside double quotes

1000. Link to the Absolute Write chat channel for Uncle Jim's AW Chat

1001. Thank you and assurances of a transcript of the chat (you can obtain the transcript at this link, btw)

Wow. 1001 links. And I still have PAGES left to index to get up to date. More to come soon!
 
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1002. Show vs tell example

1003. Link "How Books Make Money"

1004. Link to written techniques as see from a game developer's POV

1005. Submitting a book that's already published via Lulu

1006. Uncle Jim goes to his son's graduation and other places

1007. When to introduce major characters (the Page 100 Rule)

1008. About that BIC time

1009. Encouragement

1010. Introducing characters - play with it

1011. A tidbit about Mist and Snow

1012. Request for Google Caches of the thread from May 24 to June 30, '06

1013. A number of Jim's posts are embedded here recovered by Andrew Jameson (thanks!) after the site crashed and lost a month of posts.

1014. More recovered posts

1015. More recovered posts

1016. and more... I hope everyone who is reading the recovered posts gives Andrew a rep. point of thanks for the great job he did!

1017. Back to Uncle Jim's regular posts wherein he shows that he has kept his sense of humor

1018. Dialog, Dune, declines to post in SYW

1019. Reserve against returns explained

1020. Line by line answers to questions about 'earning out' an advance

1021. Misapprehension about 'earning out'

1022. Doing dialect - Preorder Mist and Snow as a hedge against a hard winter

1023. Readercon agenda

1024. Planning on vindaloo at Readercon

1025. Don't worry about how the book will be classified

1026. Lose nothing with the cuts if the reader would skip it, do what works

1027. Use said words other than 'said' lightly

1028. Ruined as a reader

1029. Frequency of the unnamed character in fiction

1030. Mist and Snow cover, link to first chapter of same

1031. More on those unnamed characters

1032. Advice on ending a chapter, get Magic and Showmanship

1033. First two pages of Mist and Snow

1034. More about that chapter ending

1035. Mist and Snow first page line by line

1036. Where to find Apocalypse Door

1037. An interesting sentence from "A Visit From St. Nicholas" to diagram

1038. The sign on Uncle Jim's door

1039. First person POV in novels

1040. An editor's feeling about trilogies

1041. A lament about fantasists

1042. Prediction about trilogies

1043. Uncle Jim to be on the radio talking about publishing, scams, etc.

1044. Uncle Jim is consistent with his advice to be consistent

1045. Bad habits and writing

1046. Punctuation - don't confuse the reader, link to a review of a lit novel

1047. More about punctuation, the famous (infamous?) serial comma example

1048. Theme defined by example

1049. A song about bad habits and writing

1050. More about theme

Break time! I'll be back soon...
 

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Trying something new with the new multi quote function

1075.
Copying your first draft to the computer is a good thing. As you go, you can change things. If something seems short or rushed -- expand it. If something doesn't seem to be worth the trouble of retyping it --don't.

As to whether you should write your next novel de novo on the computer ... try it. See what happens.

You're allowed to start original writing on your next while you revise your current book.

1076.
I just spotted this in the Google Ads of another writing-related site:

Whitmore Publishing
Quality book publishing since 1961 No publishing fee. We pay you.
whitmorepublishing.com
Let's count up the lies in that ad, shall we? Like the sign in the Dashiel Hammet story*, it threatens to have more lies than words.

We can start the first lie with the name of the firm. Whitmore Publishing isn't really Whitmore Publishing: it's Dorrance (the well-known (not to say infamous) vanity press).

Oh, they try to disguise the fact: Whitmore gives its address as 926 Liberty Avenue, Third Floor, Pittsburgh, PA. Dorrance's address is 701 Smithfield Street, Third Floor, Pittsburgh, PA. But a brief glance at Google Maps will show you that those two addresses refer to the same building: Whitmore; Dorrance.

There was a publisher called Whitmore, back in the 1960s. And they did (as the current Whitmore boasts) publish Warren Adler's first book. What the current site doesn't mention is that the Whitmore that published Adler went out of business in the early 1990s. All the books are long-since reverted, all the editorial, production, sales and marketing staff has long-since moved on to other places. So "since 1961" is a shocking lie, as is their claim to quality book publishing. Or book publishing at all -- the current Whitmore arose in 2003, some ten years after the real Whitmore disappeared.

"No publishing fee" is a red flag. When is there ever a publishing fee with a legitimate press? It's also a lie. This current Whitmore follows PublishAmerica's business plan: they print, POD, and their market is their own authors. They sell overpriced books and expect to make their profit on the small number of sales that come from self-purchases. The fee is hidden in the cover price.

"We pay you." Indeed. They pay an advance that's ten times higher than PublishAmerica's. They expect to get many times more back from the author. That's the equivalent of cutting off a dog's tail and handing it back to the dog, saying, "Here you go, Fido! A nice piece of meat!"

"whitmorepublishing.com" -- lists as its technical contact a person with a dorrancepublishing.com email address. Dorrancepublishing.com's IP number is 65.39.195.54. Whitmorepublishing.com's IP number is 65.39.195.56. They're both hosted by Peer 1 Network.


A lot of writing (and other) sites don't realize that they can block URLs from advertising with them. The Google ads you see on writing-related sites (based as they are on keywords) are almost universally for scams: Vanity publishers, fake agents, unneeded services. The rule is this: If you see a publisher or an agent advertising through Google, they're either scammers or worthless.

===========
*I was reading a sign high on the wall behind the bar:

ONLY GENUINE PRE-WAR AMERICAN AND
BRITISH WHISKEYS SERVED HERE

I was trying to count how many lies could be found in those nine words, and had reached four, with promise of more, when one of my confederates, the Greek, cleared his thoat with the noise a gasoline engine's backfire.​

1077.
Not all that difficult. You know, if you see a publisher or agent advertising with Google, that they're bent somehow.

Meanwhile, Allynegirl, the general solution to problem scenes:

Flop it, crop it, or drop it.

That is, rewrite, showing the scene from a different POV. Or, make it lots shorter. If those don't work, delete it and see if the story still works.

1078.
From the archives of SFF Net (where I was looking for something totally unrelated), I find this list of The Lies of Publishing by the learned Teresa Nielsen Hayden:

[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helv,Helvetica][FONT=FixedSys,Courier New,Courier]-- We'll fix that in the proofs.

-- We regard ourselves as having made a serious long-term commitment to
your career, but we can't give you any more money.

-- The manuscript is very clean.

-- We'll fix that in the second pass.

-- Don't worry, this is standard industry practice.

-- I've already started reading your manuscript, but I don't want to
comment on it until I've finished the whole thing.

-- We'll fix that in the actual book.

-- The art will look a lot better when it's printed.

-- I'll get back to you on that.

-- You don't need to put that in the contract.

-- When you've been a pro as long as I have, a few rejections don't worry you.

-- We'll fix that in the paperback.

-- The copyeditor must have done that -- too late to fix it now!

-- The cover will look a lot better when it's foiled and embossed.

-- Bad reviews don't bother me. I don't even read 'em anymore, and I
certainly don't obsess over them.

-- The sales force is very excited about your upcoming book.

-- Of course I'll have the book in on time.

-- Nobody'll notice that typo anyway.

-- We'll do whatever it takes to make it right.

-- The check is in the mail.
[/FONT][/FONT]

1079.
Author lies? In addition to "Of course I'll have the book in on time," "A few rejections don't worry me" and "Bad reviews don't bother me" are total fibs.

1080.
Originally Posted by T. Nielsen Hayden
Aaaargh! Did I actually post that in public? How young and irresponsible of me.
Indeed you did, right out in a public newsgroup where the world could see it.

I feel bad for anyone who's heard all four. (I also envy them.)
Heck, I've gotten a fifth, after "We'll fix that in the paperback": "We'll fix that in the next printing."

1081. (DamaNegra asked "who's Yog")

1082.
Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Arrrr, Matey!

A couple o' off-topic things, then an on-topic thing:

Learn CPR at Home (for $30). I be a big believer in CPR (an' in public-access AEDs -- if yer community dasn't be havin' `em, be seein' if ye can get th' program going).

Chapter Three o' Land o' Mist an' Snow be now on line. (An' a very nice article in one o' our local weeklies last Friday.)

Now th' on-topic thing:

Crawford Kilian has a series o' articles on Writin' a Novel that ye might find useful.

1083.
CPR an' AED courses be available in lots o' communities. Prices (an' times an' places they's offered) vary: try callin' yer local ambulance squad or hospital t' be seein' when they'll be gi'en an' what they'll cost.

Th' courses range from Free on up, dependin'.

(In our community, me ambulance squad puts a wee kit wi' ever' public-access AED, consisin' o' a ziplock baggie holdin' a pocket CPR facemask, a couple o' pairs o' gloves, a set o' EMT shears, a washcloth, a disposable razor, an' a couple o' alcohol swabs.)

I be seein' CPR work wid me own eyes (that be, a guy down an' dead, subsequently walkin' ou' o' th' hospital wi' nay neuro deficits). `Tis worth 't t' know how t' do that.

(Particularly if ye`re a 50-60 year old female. Ye`re th' one most likely t' witness a cardiac event; th' shipmate sittin' across from ye at th' breakfast table goin' down hard. Ye dasn't want t' be seein' that an' nay know what ter do next.)

While th' modern public-access AEDs be havin' pictures on 'em an' a voice chip in 'em what will talk ye through th' whole procedure, 'tis good t' familiarize yersef wi' them first. Th' number one reason they dasn't work in th' field si th' swabbie operatin' them dasn't take th' pads ou' o' th' package. Th' number two reason be th' swabbie tries t' stick th' pads abroadside o' th' patient`s clothin' rather than on th' patient`s bare chest. If ye`re suddenly faced wi' a Dead Swabbie, things get excitin' in a hurry an' 'tis easy t' get flustered. Havin' had th' machine in yer hand once in a classroom settin' can take away a wee bit o' th' high-pucker-factor that I promise ye're goin' t' feel.


If ye wants ter buy an AED
for yer church or home or office, they start around $900.

1084.
Here are a couple more links for y'all:

First is to many of the books and movies that we've talked about in Learn Writing.

Next is to a bunch of books that would be interesting to writers.

All the associate income from sales of these books go to AW (and y'all remember the down-time we had a couple of months ago? Legal fees and such continue....)

1085.
A reading list for fantasy writers: http://www.worldfantasy.org/awards/

1086.
Well, Casi, that sounds like a book you need to write.

First, get everything on paper. Then use novelists' techniques to make it interesting to others.

More than that -- we have a non-fiction section here at AW. You might want to hang out there, too.

------------

Oh. I've just heard that Amazon now allows folks to comment on the reviews posted there.

If I catch anyone from here commenting on reviews on your own book, I will come to your house and mock you in person. ABM, y'know?

1087.
Oh -- funny coincidence. A good friend of mine woke up this morning at about 0130 with a panicky feeling. Yep, he was having a heart attack. (He's fine, in the Cardiac Care Unit right now.) And he's younger than me....

1088.
Remember that the moral of the "sour grapes" story was "It is easy to despise what you cannot have."

When a self-published author says "Bookstores are lousy places to sell books," that's "sour grapes."

1089.
From another thread:

Originally Posted by Jamesaritchie

There are many, many Muslim terrorists, and not writing about them out of fear of audience reaction is what writing should never be about.
"What's in the slush today?"

"A book about Muslim terrorists, a book about Muslim terrorists, a book about Muslim terrorists, and a book about terrorists who are Muslims."

"Okay, put 'em in the 'Muslim Terrorist' pile."

"Which one?"

"The one that hasn't fallen over yet. What's that in your hand?"

"A book about West Florida Separatist terrorists."

"Hey! Is it any good?"

--------------------

Allen, I'll be in Maryland around Thanksgiving. I understand Virginia isn't too far from there? (Blue Cheese Chicken is fine with me.)

1090.
Mike Ford is dead. The world is a poorer place.

It is given to no man to know the day or hour.

1091.
Mike was in fragile health for a long time. Diabetes, a kidney transplant ... we all knew he was chronically ill. Still, it came as a shock. He'd posted a witty poem just the day before.

While looking for his old posts, I came across this discussion: How Books Sell. Folks who read this thread might find it interesting.

1092.
Mike Ford on Romance, or, See! He agrees with me! I must be right!
The shortish version (and there are much, much longer ones) comes from the division of stories into didaxis, mimesis, and romance -- teaching/instruction, the representation of reality, and idealization. (Or, as I said in another book someplace, lectures, reportage, and lies.) A "romance" in this sense is an idealized story, rather than a "realistic" one. It comes from an earlier usage, meaning stories told in the vernacular (the "romance languages") rather than Latin. Most of those vernacular stories were, well, pulp yarns. Amadis de Gaul, Alonso Quejana's version of the Jack Ryan series, was in the language of everybody who could read.

1093.
There is no one as selfish as a reader standing in front of a shelf in a bookstore.

1094.
If you don't have subplots, what you have is a short story.

Subplots add depth and richness to your novel by comparing, contrasting, and supporting the theme.

Think of counterpoint and harmonies in music. Those are subplots.

1095.
Replying to reviews is always problematical. I'd avoid doing it. If you must, write a review of your own.

1096.
Snowflake, it might be time for you to read closely and analyse some of your favorite books to see how those authors did it.

1097.
Our friend Sherwood Smith has been publishing under that name since her first book. This isn't in any way even close to her legal name.

Without having read Miss Snark's remark I can't say anything about her specific issue. In my own experience, the name on the cover of the book is a matter between you and the publisher.

1098.
No one needs TV.

1099.
Rather than subplot, when I use these I work with theme and characters. Thus, it's time for a scene with Randy, and the theme will be Honor.

It helps move things along, shows your progress, and provides inspiration for what the next scene will be. And, it's pretty.

1100.
Originally Posted by FennelGiraffe
But I also thought that where the strands crossed was saying something about where subplots should be connected.

It can be anything you want it to be. Theme can also connect. One can be brought to the forefront.

I'm sorry that that isn't clear -- it's an ideosyncratic method of my own.

1101.
Speaking of chemical fires and such, it's time for me to plug by Jump Kit page.

1102. In response to:
Originally Posted by Theo Neel
In fact, talking out loud can be very helpful in clarifying your thoughts so that when you do get precious keyboard time, you're not wasting it staring at a blank screen. (Talking out loud helps your brain process creativity -- a left brain/right brain kind of thing.)
Talking to yourself also gets you a seat to yourself on the bus/subway....

1103.
Don't tell the readers anything until they care.

1104.
If the readers don't care, they won't remember a word you've said.

1105.
May I again recommend Henning Nelms' Magic and Showmanship? Many of your questions about getting the reader to care will become clear when you read that book.

Dan Brown's book is a poor example -- it's a thriller, true, but it's also a fad based on American anti-Catholicism. Its faults (lousy plotting, lousy writing) have been widely commented on in many venues.

If I wanted to package Margaret Atwood's book as science fiction, I could. The difference would be in the cover painting, in the back-cover blurb, and the logo on the spine.

1106.
Let's talk about Getting the Reader to Care:

Time to play the analysis game. This time, a classic work. Best seller, multiple editions ....
CHAPTER I.
Say, ye oppressed by some fantastic woes,
Some jarring nerve that baffles your repose,
Who press the downy couch while slaves advance
With timid eye to read the distant glance,
Who with sad prayers the weary doctor tease
To name the nameless, ever-new disease,
Who with mock patience dire complaints endure,
Which real pain and that alone can cure,
How would you bear in real pain to lie
Despised, neglected, left alone to die?
How would you bear to draw your latest breath
Where all that's wretched paves the way to death?
--Crabbe.
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at
occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which
swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling
along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the
lamps that struggled against the darkness. Through one of the obscurest
quarters of London, and among haunts little loved by the gentlemen of the
police, a man, evidently of the lowest orders, was wending his solitary
way. He stopped twice or thrice at different shops and houses of a
description correspondent with the appearance of the quartier in which
they were situated, and tended inquiry for some article or another which
did not seem easily to be met with. All the answers he received were
couched in the negative; and as he turned from each door he muttered to
himself, in no very elegant phraseology, his disappointment and
discontent. At length, at one house, the landlord, a sturdy butcher,
after rendering the same reply the inquirer had hitherto received, added,
"But if this vill do as vell, Dummie, it is quite at your sarvice!"
Pausing reflectively for a moment, Dummie responded that he thought the
thing proffered might do as well; and thrusting it into his ample pocket,
he strode away with as rapid a motion as the wind and the rain would
allow. He soon came to a nest of low and dingy buildings, at the
entrance to which, in half-effaced characters, was written "Thames
Court." Halting at the most conspicuous of these buildings, an inn or
alehouse, through the half-closed windows of which blazed out in ruddy
comfort the beams of the hospitable hearth, he knocked hastily at the
door. He was admitted by a lady of a certain age, and endowed with a
comely rotundity of face and person.

"Hast got it, Dummie?" said she, quickly, as she closed the door on the
guest.


====================

End of page one. Well, do you turn the page?

What do you know, and do you care?

1107.
One thing y'all should remember about 19th c. novels is that they were meant to be read aloud -- by the pater familias in the parlour as an evening's diversion, for example.

1108.
The opening of The Hobbit is a great example of providing description by taking away information. First we're told that a hole exists, then we're told all the things that the hole isn't.

Tolkien had an idiosyncratic style. He also created a new genre. Later works in that genre have refined the concept so much that the earlier work seems crude in comparison, and reworked some parts so much that they've become cliches. That doesn't mean the original work wasn't groundbreaking.

Of course it wasn't everyone's cup of tea. What work is?

The lesson is to write your passion. Tolkien's passion was linguistics.

1109.
CHAPTER I.
We're in a chapter book, not a short story. Expect a slower beginning, since each part is in proportion to the length of the piece.
Say, ye oppressed by some fantastic woes,
Some jarring nerve that baffles your repose,
Who press the downy couch while slaves advance
With timid eye to read the distant glance,
Who with sad prayers the weary doctor tease
To name the nameless, ever-new disease,
Who with mock patience dire complaints endure,
Which real pain and that alone can cure,
How would you bear in real pain to lie
Despised, neglected, left alone to die?
How would you bear to draw your latest breath
Where all that's wretched paves the way to death?
--Crabbe.
The epigraph; perhaps a prologue. This is the stating the theme. The poet contrasts the rich hypocondriac with the genuinely ill poor person.
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Setting the scene, providing a backdrop for the action to come. A stormy night is naturally dramatic. Opening your novel with a weather report has become a cliche; it became a cliche because it works so reliably and so often.

Through one of the obscurest quarters of London, and among haunts little loved by the gentlemen of the police, a man, evidently of the lowest orders, was wending his solitary way.
A rough neighborhood, and we're introduced to our first character two sentences in. Remember that most stories start with a person in a place with a problem. Our person here is a common laborer, or perhaps a ruffian. He is certainly not afraid to walk out in a bad part of town. The first reason we have to care is this: The question "What brings a guy out on that kind of night?" Most readers have been out in bad weather and know what it's like, and know that only the most compelling reason will force it.

He stopped twice or thrice at different shops and houses of a description correspondent with the appearance of the quartier in which they were situated, and tended inquiry for some article or another which did not seem easily to be met with.
He's well-known in an area where the police fear to tread. This is characterization. Also, we're given his problem. He's looking for something, something rare in that quarter.

All the answers he received were couched in the negative; and as he turned from each door he muttered to himself, in no very elegant phraseology, his disappointment and discontent.
Very hard to find; and the man is a brute. Everyone knows what it's like to search for something they can't find, whether it be a cup of sugar or the car keys. What he said would have been literally unprintable in the 19th century, thus the circumlocution.

At length, at one house, the landlord, a sturdy butcher, after rendering the same reply the inquirer had hitherto received, added, "But if this vill do as vell, Dummie, it is quite at your sarvice!"
We're given the man's name. We care what the man's name is by now, since we've known him for four sentences and are sympathetic to his plight. Dialect has fallen out of favor since the 19th century. Its main purpose was to guide the person reading aloud in how to pronounce the words in the proper accent. With more silent reading by individuals this is less important.


Pausing reflectively for a moment, Dummie responded that he thought the thing proffered might do as well; and thrusting it into his ample pocket, he strode away with as rapid a motion as the wind and the rain would allow.
Indirect discourse. A bit of a cheat, since while the POV is close enough to hear the words a description of the object isn't given. More reinforcement of Dummie's character and of the severity of the weather. (The mention of the ample pocket is the first note of Dummie's profession -- he's a pickpocket -- but we won't be told that until later. At the moment we don't care what Dummie does as his day job, so we aren't told.) We're gaining more sympathy with Dummie, and learning that despite his appearance he's capable of thought.

He soon came to a nest of low and dingy buildings, at the entrance to which, in half-effaced characters, was written "Thames Court."
Pure description. Nothing much happens between getting the object and arriving at the destination, the reader has no reason to care about the interval, so it isn't given. Because it's where Dummie (who we care about) is going, we care, so the name of the place can be given.

Halting at the most conspicuous of these buildings, an inn or alehouse, through the half-closed windows of which blazed out in ruddy comfort the beams of the hospitable hearth, he knocked hastily at the door.
Description. We care about what it looks like since we know its name and need a mental picture to tie that tag onto.

He was admitted by a lady of a certain age, and endowed with a
comely rotundity of face and person.
Character two. We don't care about her yet, so no name, and the description is spare enough that if we forget it, it doesn't matter.

"Hast got it, Dummie?" said she, quickly, as she closed the door on the guest.
This woman (again speaking in dialect), ties herself into Dummie (she knows him), and to the object. She's now important enough to care about.

==============

For the sake of the folks who are wondering exactly what Dummie was after that was so hard to find in that district, it was a Bible. What the butcher gave him, instead, was a leather-bound copy of the works of Shakespeare. The reason the landlady wanted a Bible was because one of the young ladies there is dying; it doesn't matter that what's provided isn't a Bible because she can't read.

We're starting a story comparing and contrasting life in the upper and lower parts of society, and highlighting the injustices of the English penal system. "Knowing yourself" is a compelling reason for any reader to pick up a novel.

Paul Clifford had the largest first printing of any novel up to that time; it sold out on the first day. This was a crime novel, and of an entirely new subgenre within crime novels: the hero is the criminal himself.

Bulwer-Lytton wrote the novel with the intent of reforming English criminal justice. Its current obscurity (other than as a bad joke) is further proof of Sam Goldwyn's dictum: "If you want to send a message call Western Union."

1110.
Blast from the past time. I found today I needed HapiSofi's post on Decent Typesetting, and discovered the link back early in this thread was no longer valid.

Here's the new link to HapiSofi on Decent Typesetting.

1111.
Originally Posted by jpserra
McAllister, in your first post you cited the plagerism cases and outlined the laws, as it pertains.
Sorry, jpserra, but I don't know which post you're referring to. (This is a long thread....)

1112.
No. There's nothing in Star Trek that didn't already exist -- decades before -- in written Science Fiction. Nor can ideas be copyrighted, only the specific expression of ideas.

Some popular characters that would be public domain from the 20th century include Sherlock Holmes -- but only from the stories that were published before 1923.

Tarzan would be public domain, but Edgar Rice Burroughs cleverly trademarked the character, so copyright doesn't apply.

1113.
Ideas can't be copyrighted. Klingons are probably trademarked, however.

1114.
Ken's example is by Charles Dickens. It's really a bit short; I doubt that's a full page.

1115.
I posted this elsewhere, but I think I'll repost it here....

=================

Why are you thinking of Amazon Shorts and ezines? Isn't The Paris Review taking submissions any more? How about Harper's? Woman's Day? F&SF? Cemetary Dance? Hitchcock? Where do you find the fiction that you yourself read?

If you don't have a copy of Writer's Market go out right now and get one.

Aim high, people. You won't know if you're good enough to play in the big leagues until you've submitted your stuff there. You should work down to the 1/4-cent-a-word and 4theluv places. You won't work your way up from them.

Fast, Easy, Good. Choose two.

1116.
I was an AFLA fencer (foil and epee), and fought broadsword and mace in the SCA. During my Navy days I'd sit with my back to the wall in waterfront taverns, observing the degradation of my fellow man, and taking mental notes during the fights.

What I can say about describing swordfights is -- keep it brief, and don't use technical language. Who the hey among the general readership will know what a parry in quarte looks like? Or exactly what a coupe is?

Later on I'll see if I can find one of my swordfighting scenes and type it in, with commentary.

Like anything else: research. Find someone who's an expert and run your scene past him or her.

Make sure the fight scene advances plot and reveals character.

And don't bore the reader.
 
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