Resurrecting The Dead--the All New Horror Hounds Weekend Report
- Thread starter Haggis
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Ooh... red velvet cookies. *drools*
I spent the week critting others' work, Mistress. Oh, and baking 5 kinds of cookies. Are you open to bribes? I have pizzelles, cutouts, Mexican wedding cakes, peanut butter blossoms, and White Trash.
Oh, and my horror short I subbed to the Biblical Horror antho got put in the "maybe" pile. Decision in January.
Hmmmmmmmm.
MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Critting is good. 5 beets.
Bribes are bad -5 beets.
Maybe pile = 1 pearl onion. Dried.
No torture for you.
Back to work
Well...laaa deee dah, hording all the moth balls and dust bunnies are we? Think you're 'Little Mr Bow Tie' now don't you.
Let me tell you one thing, Pike, the Brothers
don't take kindly to your flagrant displays of wealth, no matter that you did accomplish 1,100 words in one day surrounded by your luxury of dust and camphor.Now get ye to the stark dank dungeon and whip us out a few more of them words.
No, no...the texture is supposed to be CRABMEAT.
500 words. Only 500 word?
Dude, you need some of Pike's mothballs!
Now, get back to work!
another 5k on the new WIP last week...
and i have a title, thank you.
Without knowing anything about your book, Jay, makes it kind of hard to title it.
5 k. Marvelous. You may have not only ink, not only parchment, but several coals with which to heat your drafty garret.
As far as the title. I just need something to call it other than '4' or 'Queen Fluffy Toes, and the Rascal of Ritchie Falls'.
BTW....
back to work.
Well done, Boston.
Jay, dear, I have a title for you: Half an Alien is Better than One.
.
'An Insider's Look at the Better Half of One Alien'
'AILBHOA'?
possible.....
There is no one named 'Kate' in the story.
Maybe 'An Insider's Escape From Half of One Better Alien Fly From the Funk Dimension'
or...maybe not.
Beets?! I suddenly feel the need to scream like Newman did when he ate broccoli on Seinfeld. "Vile Weed!"
And Jay, as for my mothballs, I soak them in Bacardi Dark 151 for a day or two. Talk about Pep Pills!
what;s wrong with beets? no beets, no borscht. Who doesn;t like borscht?
I make kick-ass borscht. SRSLY.
And usually my recipie begins:
First plant a row of beet seeds and cabbage seeds as soon as the ground is warm enough to work it...
My pumpkin pie recipie starts the same way.
Good, good.
So....you may have turnips.
*sigh*
The texture is STILL crabmeat, with a delicate crispiness that is teh awesome.
And I don't put turnips in mine either.
No, you were supposed to eat the turnips and leave the crabcakes for me.
AHEM:
MMM MMM LA LA LA........
If you're not devout,
you better not lie
If your heart's full of doubt,
you're gonna die,
Inquisitors are coming to town
They've got a long list,
and a weird new device,
burning hot tongs
and tubs full of ice
Inquisitors are coming to town
They'll seize you while you're sleeping
whip you til you're awake
accuse you of the sin of sloth
then burn you at the stake
OHHHHHHHHH
Go easy on yourself
or they'll make you eat lye
no matter what you say
you're gonna die
Inquisitors are coming
(woah, just see them coming!)
Inquisi-TORS are COMING TO TOOWWWWNNNNNN!!!!
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When I have a stressful day at work, not unlike today, I find that it helps if I sing Christmas Songs:
Cthulhu the hideous monstrosity,
Didn’t even have a nose,
And if you lived to see it,
You would think Cthulhu glows
All of the other monstrosities
Gibbered at it in the rain
Cause they knew that Cthulhu,
If alive, would cause them pain.
Then one dismal foggy night
HP Lovecraft wrote to say
Cthulhu, with your dead-ish plight
Burn mere mortals with your light
Then all the monstrosities keened out
And gibbered out in misery
Cthulhu the hideous monstrosity
Warped them into his story
Cthulhu the hideous monstrosity,
Didn’t even have a nose,
And if you lived to see it,
You would think Cthulhu glows
All of the other monstrosities
Gibbered at it in the rain
Cause they knew that Cthulhu,
If alive, would cause them pain.
Then one dismal foggy night
HP Lovecraft wrote to say
Cthulhu, with your dead-ish plight
Burn mere mortals with your light
Then all the monstrosities keened out
And gibbered out in misery
Cthulhu the hideous monstrosity
Warped them into his story
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Jay, this should be next year's "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer." Know any recording people?
With all due respect mistress, though your rhymes are fine, the meter's off. I wouldn't forgo the writing career just yet.
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If it helps your creativity, yes. But you must limit yourself to one kick per 87 words penned per week.
must i be abused in every thread??
wait... that was rhetorical. No need to answer.
Put the cleats down, DL.
wait... that was rhetorical. No need to answer.
Put the cleats down, DL.
I think I'm going to call book four 'Escape' because, at the end, my MC and his sweet baby sister...and his dear, precious Auntie....will live.
...too bad for the rest of the planet, eh?
Now I can go back to cleaning up Factor and Shiva.
and re-writing Christmas Carols..
you know, you folks could re-write a few...
Dashing through the snow,
I hope I'll get away....
...too bad for the rest of the planet, eh?
Now I can go back to cleaning up Factor and Shiva.
and re-writing Christmas Carols..
you know, you folks could re-write a few...
Dashing through the snow,
I hope I'll get away....
If i re-wrote them, I'd have to sing them, and I'm afraid that would be too scary even for this bunch.
Although, if you insist, I *do* have an idea for "Carol of the Bells" ....
Although, if you insist, I *do* have an idea for "Carol of the Bells" ....
*starts warming up*
DUM-de-de-dum, DUM-de-de-dum....
*watches thread members flee like lemmings*
DUM-de-de-dum, DUM-de-de-dum....
*watches thread members flee like lemmings*
YOU WIN!!!!
i don't know what you win, but if it's reasted salmon...I wouldn't open the package when it arrives.
The punishment...except for DL who must have stayed up all night to post that will begin after 7. Maybe 8. Depending on how long it takes the cats to help decorate the tree.
I have no words to report just yet - well, I do, but I have a bit more to get done by the end of the day. So I'll report in then, when I've actually met my goal.
To the tune of O Christmas Tree
This weekend's gone by very fast,
And though I tried to write some,
The truth is that I done screwed up.
I'm nothing but a lazy bum.
Futility, futility.
I guess I lack ability.
I tried to write but I did not.
I should be taken out and shot.
Of course I did some editing,
And finished up a short work.
And fixed a bit on other stuff,
But nonetheless I'm still a jerk.
Futility, futility.
I guess I lack ability.
I tried to write but I did not.
I should be taken out and shot.
I took a story; cut it some
And then I did submit it.
I did a short crit for a friend,
But I am still a half wit.
Futility, futility.
I guess I lack ability.
So take my beets and keep my ink
There's just no doubt that I doth stink.
This weekend's gone by very fast,
And though I tried to write some,
The truth is that I done screwed up.
I'm nothing but a lazy bum.
Futility, futility.
I guess I lack ability.
I tried to write but I did not.
I should be taken out and shot.
Of course I did some editing,
And finished up a short work.
And fixed a bit on other stuff,
But nonetheless I'm still a jerk.
Futility, futility.
I guess I lack ability.
I tried to write but I did not.
I should be taken out and shot.
I took a story; cut it some
And then I did submit it.
I did a short crit for a friend,
But I am still a half wit.
Futility, futility.
I guess I lack ability.
So take my beets and keep my ink
There's just no doubt that I doth stink.
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