Define this weird word:

plaggard: a practioner of the heinous act of plagerism.


nostradiem

prebarkation: the practice of allowing dogs to board luxury liners before the humans. It stems from the early days of trans-Atlantic steamers when the pampered pet of a very rich, very bitchy dowager was left behind, and the captain had to turn around to retrieve it, causing a delay of more than four days.


chairbacking

skreel

not really a recognized word but more of an idiomatic usage in western kansas, eastern colorado and the panhandle: from reel and skared pee-less.

a reel is a type of dance once popular on the american frontier. a skreel is a dance done in one of the scary little roadhouses or cantinas that dot the region. you know, the ones with the stuffed raccoon over the bar and the peanut shells on the floor. and the inexplicable ax marks on the restroom door jamb.

a skreel occurs when your idiot suit and tie grade school teacher husband decides that he wants some "authentic" mexican or trucker vittles and drags you into a dive. you are sitting at a table, trying to ignore the fly carcasses on the menu, when suddenly a trucker/ corn roguer/ border coyote decides that he wants him a 4 year woman. he comes to your table, grabs your wrist and asks you to dance on the classic postage stamp dance floor. all the while your husband --barney effing fyfe (did i mention that he stands 5'5 and weighs a whopping 137 pounds?) --waves cheerily to you as you jerk and jump around, teeth clenched in a bright smile, in a cold sweat, trying to avert a belly rubber.

the etiquett of a dive is that no man ever belly rubs with an attached female--hence the ax marks and the bullet holes in the jukebox. and believe me barney would fight. and get his ass kicked if the occasion called for it.


THAT woof is a skreel. and i thank god for my fifty year old sagging ass because i will never have to dance one again--s6

sorry

reliving old memories



trachmael

ptorkion

a crude brass clawed ptool used to weed ptorkweed from the ptorkbrake--s6

mulleteer

mudgeon: an individual with a bad temper or surly disposition, who has lost his mongrel dog.

hoarlite

Angricism

This is an SLA ( Second Language Acquisition) term for the first word expressed in anger and heard by a person learning said language.

Oblitiphamy

Oblitiphamy: a term describing the 15th-century incidence of people disappearing from the face of the earth because they claimed they were divine.


lutacrity

Mynapaedia: The definitive reference book published by well-known ornithologist Turk Eyneck, containing 172 full-color plates of tropical birds.


portamingosity

squorb: the proper medical term for squinting



torquot

carborner: a pregnant automobile, or one that has recently given birth.


elbowscale

burgmantile: an earthy brown ceramic-like floor covering, made by drying cooked, dried beef (or some other mammal) under infra-red lamps for at least nine hours; colloquially referred to as mickeydeetile.



volupendous

gnasp

the sound a gnome makes when he sees a gnu


astinglias