Stereotyping

Having been the heavy on planes more times than I care to count I've come to expect the eye-rolls, micro-expressions of disgust for having "let myself go," and on one occasion a yuppie provided all three and added "There's always one." His momma didn't raise him right, apparently.

Yes, I'm well aware of every single hated pound I've acquired in 19+ years of writing, no one needs to remind me.

I like such attitudes even less than the too-narrow seats, and it does not make for a good introduction for your--at this point--unlikeable character. There are other ways to present anxiety about the trip. Be brilliant and think up something better!

What's wrong with using the word fat? I can't stand political correctness myself; the only problem I would have with using the f-word in a WIP is that it's telling rather than showing. I don't see much wrong with that first paragraph.

Chavs are illiterate anyway!

No, seriously...no one would admit to being a chav so even if there were any present, they wouldn't think you were referring to them!

Bank robbers?

If you want to the character to be liked, i think you might need to change her tone. So far, she's made disparaging remarks about fat people and chavs (whatever they are) and not particularly funny ones. To me she comes across as prejudiced and bigotted, rather than funny. But that might just be me.

There's a difference between taking the mickey out of someone and subscribing to stereotyped ideas about whole groups of people. Taking the mickey out of someone is funny when it concerns one particular person, whom we can see takes himself too seriously and needs to be taken down a peg. Making fun of a whole group of people in what to me seems a particularly nasty tone isnt that funny. BUt that is just my opinion and should be taken as such.

There's not enough in the first paragraph alone to characterize the speaker yet. I like it a lot because of its provocative tone. Don't know what chavs are either, but these little rants could be leading somewhere. I think they make your character colorful. It's too early to form opinions about these remarks. If she goes on like that, I'd agree that it's on the way to becoming problem.

But as far as it goes, it makes me want to know why she's so fussy, what caused her mood. She has strong opinions. Is she just irritable or is this an example of her iron will? I wouldn't change it, and I'm sorry if that offends a poster, but prejudice and ill manners often come out of the best (most interesting) characters.

nevada said:

If you want to the character to be liked, i think you might need to change her tone. So far, she's made disparaging remarks about fat people and chavs (whatever they are)

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Council Housing And Violent.

They roam the streets in large packs buying beer and alcopops, moving from estate to estate beating up anyone slightly poofy or foreign. Can be instantly recognised by tasteless fashion sense, baggy nike/ecko/etc clothing and usually something garish or from burberry. Favoured choice of weapon: Fists.

I'm just getting the prejudiced vibe here, too, whether it's prejudice against fat people or chavs (didn't know what they were until Ageless posted either). Maybe have your MC get into an altercation with someone while she's waiting for the plane, then she ends up seated next to that person? I think personalizing it takes away the sense that an entire group is being stereotyped, plus it adds some nice conflict.

What if you had your character have some sympathy for the heavy lady? IE the lady is apologetic about the seating arrangement and the character is not annoyed because he/she feels bad for the woman.

I'm also getting the vibe that your character is a little bit prejudiced and tbh it would make me less sympathetic to her. Could you maybe show her being irritated by her journey but have her respond in a less judgemental way?

If anything, I think it would be really really funny to see her underreact to the provocation as I think it's something most people can identify with. Something or someone annoying you but you don't want to make a scene so you just suffer in silence!

just my opinion anyway. Good luck with that!

Fat isn't a dirty word. OK, it can be used as an insult but I don't think that means we should avoid it as a description.

As for chavs, who cares what they think?

Gillhoughly said:

Having been the heavy on planes more times than I care to count I've come to expect the eye-rolls, micro-expressions of disgust for having "let myself go," and on one occasion a yuppie provided all three and added "There's always one." His momma didn't raise him right, apparently.

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That actually makes me feel very angry. What has your weight got to do with him? He might be an alcoholic or a drug addict or have a mental illness or a phobia or anything and he wouldn't like you to make sarcastic remarks about his issues would he? Nobody is perfect but that man had an ugly attitude and I think it says a lot more about him than it did about you.

I don't think his mum did raise him right either. I would be so ashamed if my son grew up to behave like that! I'd wonder where I went wrong!

I'd go with chavs....you'll hit the sweet spot with most (British) readers who equally despise those brainless oiks.

I have to admit to laying into chavs somewhat in my last published book (plug alert: Last Light) Perhaps they're too easy a target to go for...I dunno, but as someone said, no chav is going to end up reading your book, and even less likely to be able to put pen to paper and write a legible complaint.

As for the issue of fat. I'm not one to bend to PC ways frankly. But putting your commercial-writer hat on, would you really want to alienate the 45% of your readership who are officially overweight?

Garpy said:

I'd go with chavs....you'll hit the sweet spot with most (British) readers who equally despise those brainless oiks.

I have to admit to laying into chavs somewhat in my last published book (plug alert: Last Light)

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Your book came into work a couple of days ago. If you're laying into chavs, your book has moved up my To Read list

lol. Where is it you work anyway?

I've read a couple of books where the MC says something disparaging about fat people - and it irritated me. Not because I'm fat, but because I dislike the idea that someone can be so judgmental about something so irrelevant to them. There's such a fine line between judging fat people and judging Jews or (fill in the blank with group of your choice). In my opinion, political correctness is correct because it honors the dignity of all people. It's not just some hare-brained scheme thought up by bored left-wingers.

PS there's a good chance the agent or editor who reads the manuscript may be fat her/himself.

But people do make judgements about others. We all do. If our characters were all PC then our books wouldn't be realistic. There are arseholes out there. There are fat people, skinny people, black, white, gay, straight, neo-Nazis, Christians, Muslims, you name it.

Personally I hate political correctness. I try to be polite (most of the time) because it's a good thing to be, not because the government or society tells me to be.

I have no qualms about writing un-PC characters and will continue to do so. Some of mine have said disparaging things about fat people, homosexuals, in fact...most people from all walks of life. And they will continue to do so, because my stories are set in the real world, where offensive or judgemental people exist.

In fact, we're all offensive and judgemental at some point, and cleaning up our books won't make them any more believable - in fact I'd say it would make them less so.

Stories should have the ring of truth, not the antiseptic stink of having been sanitised.

seun said:

Your book came into work a couple of days ago. If you're laying into chavs, your book has moved up my To Read list

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Then may I recommend three of Grace Dent's books:

Diary of a Chav 1 - Trainers v. Tiaras
Diary of a Chav 2 - Slinging the Bling
Diary of a Chav 3 - Too Cool for School

Having a larger person on the aisle is a pain more because they take up more of the share armrest/elbow area and are more difficult to slide past without touching rather than because they can't get out of their seats. You might simply want to nail the 'tude to a more reasonable concern.