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  1. #22351
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Only in Australia a sand witch is an evil sorceress who turns the desert against people.

    Samantha is the kind of sandwich that comes on whole wheat or rye.


    It's true what they say about Unicorns, I have video proof!

  2. #22352
    Edit . . . Edit . . . Edit . . . WriterWho's Avatar
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    Drachen Jager downs whiskey morning, noon, and night. Vodka between. Beer is his mouthwash.

    One wonders what he pours in his cereal.

  3. #22353
    practical experience, FTW S. L. Saboviec's Avatar
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    WriterWho peed in your Cheerios.

  4. #22354
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Sandwich Lane (as she's named on her birth certificate) collected all of her picked-off scabs from childhood and swapped them with your Corn Flakes.


    It's true what they say about Unicorns, I have video proof!

  5. #22355
    practical experience, FTW S. L. Saboviec's Avatar
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    DJ loves to eat "Corn Flakes" for breakfast.

  6. #22356
    Come here and say that flyingtart's Avatar
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    Samantha Lane failed an audition for The Muppets.

  7. #22357
    Meow SuperModerator alleycat's Avatar
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    flyingtart is the fairy godmother to little boys and girls who are very, very bad.
    .

  8. #22358
    Edit . . . Edit . . . Edit . . . WriterWho's Avatar
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    alleycat wants to grow up to be the kangaroo in Jack Frost.

  9. #22359
    Practical experience FTW Robbert's Avatar
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    About a year ago, WW gave up to complete a 1.500 piece jigsaw puzzle and shoved the cornflakes back into the box.

    She's been disgruntled ever since

  10. #22360
    When All Else Fails, Lavern ItŠ Lavern08's Avatar
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    Robbert braided his beard in corn rows.

    (He thinks it makes him look "hip")
    BREAKFAST WITH LAVERN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9ui68rmpcw
    BUFFALO ICE CREAM: https://youtu.be/aK-zNv7VKlQ
    iHEART ICE CREAM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXxsR4Q8H0

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Yeah, I know Ted, but Vernie is hawt nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Everybody loves Lavern.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    I blurves me some Vernie.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Damn, Haggis...Vernie would be upset, and nobody wants to see that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    I have a secret, platonic crush on Lavern

    Quote Originally Posted by Mclesh View Post
    I love you, Lavern. That is all.


  11. #22361
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    Lavern has written to the Baltimore Ravens, telling them she will date all the players and show them "a real good time" if they win the Super Bowl. She says she knows this will motivate them, but she hasn't heard back yet.

    ἁμαρτία--in English "hamartia"--is Aristotle's word for the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall. It entails enormous narcissism and grandiosity, along with a determination to defeat and disgrace all enemies (and perceived enemies) and be recognized as the greatest person in the world. Sound like anyone you know?

  12. #22362
    When All Else Fails, Lavern ItŠ Lavern08's Avatar
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    Nymtoc wrote me a note inviting me to NYC.

    He said he'd take me to the top of the Empire State Building and "show me the world," and then we'd dine on pasta at Mama Leone's.

    He's bummed because I haven't replied yet.
    BREAKFAST WITH LAVERN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9ui68rmpcw
    BUFFALO ICE CREAM: https://youtu.be/aK-zNv7VKlQ
    iHEART ICE CREAM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXxsR4Q8H0

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Yeah, I know Ted, but Vernie is hawt nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Everybody loves Lavern.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    I blurves me some Vernie.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Damn, Haggis...Vernie would be upset, and nobody wants to see that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    I have a secret, platonic crush on Lavern

    Quote Originally Posted by Mclesh View Post
    I love you, Lavern. That is all.


  13. #22363
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Lavern invited me for a rooftop picnic on top of the World Trade Centre. I was pretty pissed to get there and see it's gone.

    When did that happen?


    It's true what they say about Unicorns, I have video proof!

  14. #22364
    practical experience, FTW S. L. Saboviec's Avatar
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    DJ isn't a misogynist; he just wishes that his wife would drop this whole wanting to work outside the home thing and get back in the kitchen to make him a sandwich.

  15. #22365
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Samantha sees some sort of a problem with that.


    It's true what they say about Unicorns, I have video proof!

  16. #22366
    Edit . . . Edit . . . Edit . . . WriterWho's Avatar
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    ^ Drachen Jager can't understand why his dog was eating his dinner.

  17. #22367
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    WriterWho has a little problem with pronoun confusion.

    When she went to visit the Queen, she wore her crown and royal robes.


    It's true what they say about Unicorns, I have video proof!

  18. #22368
    Edit . . . Edit . . . Edit . . . WriterWho's Avatar
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    ^ Drachen Jager picked the outlandish ensemble out for WriterWho.

    (And wore one of his own. P-A-R-T-Y)

  19. #22369
    Why do I say these things? iLion's Avatar
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    WW is trying to be the first to write an entire book in just one sentence. She is already stuck after only 46 pages!



  20. #22370
    Edit . . . Edit . . . Edit . . . WriterWho's Avatar
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    iLion whistles while he writes. Taps his toes. Bops his head. He usually manages a paragraph before he feels the urge to really let it out. Opera.

  21. #22371
    Why do I say these things? iLion's Avatar
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    I dropped my laptop on my toe the other day. I danced around and screamed obscenities and flailed my arms, and WriterWho just thought I was doing an Italian opera.



  22. #22372
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    iLion went to the opera once. Mid-way through he elbowed the portly woman next to him and said, "Let me know when you're going up, I want to get out of here early enough to beat the traffic."


    It's true what they say about Unicorns, I have video proof!

  23. #22373
    Why do I say these things? iLion's Avatar
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    DJ is the advertising exec who came up with the grocer's slogan, "You can whip our cream, but you can't beat our meat".



  24. #22374
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    iLion disagrees with my slogan. Anyone can beat his meat any time they like.


    It's true what they say about Unicorns, I have video proof!

  25. #22375
    Why do I say these things? iLion's Avatar
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    DJ thinks I'm going to argue with him.



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