Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Emotions

Thanks! That's more or less what I have at the moment. The snag is that the hero is in a scene where things get progressively worse. If I write...

A Bad Thing happened.
Peter felt the blood drain from his face. He tried X.
An Even Worse thing happened.
Peter's hands shook uncontrollably. He tried Y.
A Much Much Worse Thing happened.

Click to expand...

...then Peter begins to look like a loony, even more so because he's supposed to be an indomitable swordsman.

My approach at the moment is to use structures like this:

Event.
Immediate response. Interpretion. Considered response.
Event...

Click to expand...

E.g.

The ladder burst into flames.

Peter lept back and felt his mouth go dry. Now there was no escape, unless he risked using magic. Slowly, his fingers slid into his purse and sought the slither of chalk.

Tendrils of smoke rose from the planks under his feet...
..

Click to expand...

I'm probably overthinking this, which is why I wondered what other people did.

Cheers

MWTHS

Re: Depicting Emotions

Don't fill in the guy's reactions to most stuff. Let the readers fill that in for you, from their own experiences. Show what happened, show what your guy does and what he says, move on.

Re: Depicting Emotions

Thanks! That was quick. (Now I feel obligated to buy one of your books.:thumbs )

So, my example should be something like this, then?

The ladder burst into flames.

Peter lept back. Slowly, his fingers slid into his purse and sought the slither of chalk.

Tendrils of smoke rose from the planks under his feet.

Firmly setting aside visions of Hell, Peter hunkered down and began to draw a rune.

Click to expand...

I'm using this example because I'm trying to show a character do something he'd rather not, but without getting too histrionic!

Re: Niven's Laws

See, now I totally agree with Jim (of course I do!) But if you find your character is doing the same stuff over and over, then the stuff I mentioned up a bit is good to know.

Personally, I think more heros should pee their pants - it shows they're human.

Re: Depicting emotions

I like this version better. This line:

Firmly setting aside visions of Hell

as well as being literal regarding the fire, is more than enough of a look into Peter's feelings to tell the reader he's not wholeheartedly embracing what he's going to do next.

Re: Emotions

I think your list is still useful: Uncle Jim said don't show reaction to most events, implying that the odd well placed dry mouth etc serves as emphasis.

As for heroes peeing their pants - that's a matter of taste. Agreed they should have vulnerabilities, but I'm not a fan of the "war is horrible"/"sufferring women"/"young boy with special powers" schools of fantasy.

Partly, having a character combat-ready clears the decks for more interesting character development.

However, I'll admit, there's also a measure of Mary Sue wish fulfillment. As both reader and writer, I want to get in there and ride the back of the POV character as he cuts down his enemies.

For me George RR Martin and Mary Gentle have it about right.

Re: Emotions

For me George RR Martin and Mary Gentle have it about right.

So ... read their books with your hi-lighter in hand, and mark the characters' reactions.

As an artist you're reading books differently than the regular readers. You're trying to see how the author created the effects, so you can do the same.

Re: Niven's Laws

Wise you are, oh Socratic one.
Thanks for your time - I'm enjoying this thread.

Re: Depicting emotions

I find that if I'm having trouble showing emotions, I sometimes use this site:
members.aol.com/nonverbal2/entries.htm

It's called the non-verbal dictionary. At least it makes for a good read!

Posted Elsewhere at AW

From <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessageRange?topicID=209.topic&start=3021&stop=3040" target="_new">More PA Woes</a>:

<hr>

I was wondering if you’d tell me how you received permission to write Star Wars novels?

Real briefly -- I'm not Ann (nor do I play her on TV), but I've done a bunch of licensed work under the name "Martin Delrio."

You don't contact them, they contact you. Nor do you write the book in advance, or send them a query. After your first book comes out from someone else (which proves you can write a publishable novel), you get a call one day from your agent, saying "NameOCompany needs someone to write a NameOShow novel. You interested?" You say, "Sure am!" You get the information from the rights holder. Depending on who you're dealing with, this can be very small or very large.

If they haven't given you an outline to start with, you write an outline and send it to them. If they don't like it, you write another outline. If they don't like that one, you write yet another....

You write the book. If they don't like it, either they make changes or you make changes until they do like it.

As far as protecting your original bits -- forget it. They have squads of lawyers, and the contract will spell out that the entire work is the property of the company that hired you.

My best advice to you would be to write your story as an original novel. If the only reason someone would read it is because it's Star Wars, it isn't much of a story. If the story is strong enough, you can use other names, other places, other characters, other events, have a chance of selling it on your own, and keeping all rights.

You probably won't sell in the numbers that having the words "Star Wars" on the cover would give you, but you'll have the start of your own career.

Short answer: the people who write the tie-ins are already established pros.

Re: Emotions

How did you choose the name Martin Delrio?

/idle curiousity

Re: Emotions

Martin Delrio: notice the initials, M & D.

(There was an historical Martin Delrio, a witch-hunter. The novelization of Mortal Kombat was his first book since the sixteenth century.)

Re: Depicting emotions

I'm sure he'd be so pleased.

Thanks.

need help and opinions

DESPERATELY seeking some reads for the chapter I posted in the SHARE YOUR WORK section of the boards. If interested, click the following link:

p197.ezboard.com/fabsolut...=517.topic

Would really like to hear what other writers (working or novice) have to say. If the link I gave doesn't work just look up my user name (gp101) in the right-hand side of the thread in SHARE YOUR WORK. Much thanks to anyone who has the time.

dialogue to open a novel??

I've never had a problem reading longer-than-normal blocks of dialogue so long as they either advanced plot or revealed character (or hopefully both) without being too much of an info dump. But is that a bad way to start a novel? Can anyone think of examples of published novels that start off in this manner in chapter 1, page 1?

Thanks.

Re: Emotions

The Business, by Iain Banks. Chapter 1 is almost pure dialogue, about 5 or 6 pages of it.

Re: Dialogue

The Philosopher's Pupil by Iris Murdoch opens with pages of dialogue, and virtually no dialogue tags at all! She's just incredible.

I think it's a great way to open a book.

Re: need help and opinions

About the writing Star Wars books question, it reminded me of this FAQ by Michael Stackpole. Good, informative reading.

www.stormwolf.com/data/masfaq.htm

A question about dreams

Hi everyone,
I’ve managed to catch up with you only now due to a move across continents, an active toddler and a new baby (not to include the usual amount of sleep deprivation that goes with it).
I read somewhere along this thread that beginning a novel with a dream is not such a good idea. Is it because it lays false expectations?
I considered this option to introduce my main character: he’s a 12 year old boy with a very vivid imagination. Sometimes he has a hard time deciding whether things are really happening around him or just in his mind. Would an opening scene with him daydreaming about being a sort of Rambo and ending with him being called back to reality by his mom put off readers or is it acceptable as long as the trick is revealed?
I think it may fall into the “reveal character” category, but I’m curious to hear how more experienced writers feel about it.

Thanks in advance for your insight and for all the useful tips.:clap

Raffaella

Re: A question about dreams

Raffaella wrote:
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>I read somewhere along this thread that beginning a novel with a dream is not such a good idea. Is it because it lays false expectations?<hr></blockquote>
Pretty much. We start out thinking the book's about one thing, we get involved with the setting and characters as we understand them, and then it all turns out to be something else. The reader's initial belief in your story gets blown, and you have to build it all back up again.

<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>Would an opening scene with him daydreaming about being a sort of Rambo and ending with him being called back to reality by his mom put off readers or is it acceptable as long as the trick is revealed?<hr></blockquote>
If you're good enough, you can make anything work. Some things are just harder than others.

Re: Dialogue

That scenerio reminds me of an old cartoon.. anybody remember "Ralphie" and his daydreams??

I always loved the one where he was a fighter pilot.

To dream or not to dream

I think most readers have a problem with dreams, because we all know that, fascinating as our own may be to ourselves and laden with symbolism as they can be, they're just garbled nonsense from an individual psyche that bear only scant relation to the truth.

That's why they're often frowned upon in fiction, and come with a 'use with care' label. While fiction is untrue, it should still be the truth, and a dream sequence breaks the fictive bargain between author and reader; it's a distraction that takes the reader out of the story.

But if this is what you're story is about - a boy who has difficulty separating fact from imaginings - I guess you're stuck with them. You'll obviously have to put quite a few dreamy episodes in your piece, some perhaps where you make it clear at the time that this is what is happening, and some where you play tricks as crucial plot elements.

But if you bear in mind that the opening of a story is crucial in hooking the reader, there's a good argument for not beginning with a dream, as you could p**s off your prospective buyers within the first few pages.

Re: A question about dreams

One of the most marvelous openings to a book that I've ever read was a dream sequence. It described the recurring dream of a grown man. In his dream, he was a boy, sledding down a long, snowy hill, almost flying, giddy with freedom, then dragging the sled back up the hill for another run. The man was Franklin Roosevelt.

The book was nonfiction: No Ordinary Time. Go read those first two pages.

What made the dream so telling was that the reader already knew that the dreamer had been crippled for years. The yearning and inner conflict reflected in the dream grabs the reader right away.

If you can somehow create that power in your scene, that deep emotional conflict between the dream and the dreamer, then I'd say you have something there.

Re: A question about dreams

Have you ever seen the movie, A Beautiful Mind, about the struggle of the mathematician with mental illness?

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

There's a point in the movie where the main character's fantasies (or psychoses, or whatever you call it) have taken over, and you don't realize it for some minutes. It seems plausible at first, but it gets more and more bizarre until you realize that you have left reality--until it comes crashing in.

It's beautifully done.

My point is, go ahead and try out your dream sequences. See if you can make them work. Play and experiment and don't be scared to make mistakes.

The only rule that matters is that, in the end, it works.

Re: Dreams

I think there is a big difference between starting straight in with "He looked the dragon in the eye..." and starting with an introduction such as "His threw off the bed clothes as he dreamt. He looked the dragon in the eye..."

However, Walter Mitty must be the best known of the tales where the protagonist confuses dreams with reality and from memory it starts straight in with a dream. (I haven't read it for years)