Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

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ChunkyC

Re: Fixing problems

I think this file card idea ties in well with editor Sol Stein's 'triage' method of revision. He advises against reading the story through from start to finish, fixing every little thing as you go, until you've looked after the big things.

For example, if you're building a house and you realize you put the garage on the second floor, there's no need to paint the railing as you go up the stairs to fetch the garage and bring it down to ground level. Paint the railing later.

I can see using the cards to shuffle scenes around, determine which need to be shortened, lengthened, or cut altogether, and so on. Once you have the garage where it belongs and the bathtub in the bathroom instead of the den, then you can start putting on the doorknobs and hanging the curtains.
 

Euan Harvey

Re: Minor characters

Thanks again for the replies,

>If you find your dialogues and actions only serve to move the plot along, slow down and do some character-driven actions and dialogues.

I had an AHA! moment when reading this. Most of my dialog is just about moving the plot along (main character finds out X, Y or Z). I hadn't really thought about it until now.

>They are each the hero of their own stories.

I remember reading this before, but I don't think I really connected it with what would happen if I didn't make them the hero of their own stories. OK, I finally realize what this means.

>Have you considered adding a subplot to the start of the story to keep the readers involved while this develops?

Hm. I didn't think of this. I guess I could: have a subplot in the foreground and leave the main plot trundling along in the background. So the subplot resolves just as the main plot kicks into really high gear. OK, sounds good, I'll give it a go.

:thumbs

Cheers,

Euan
 

Prometheus76

Preparation

A friend of my father, we'll call him Rich, went to Harvard and studied political science there. He got his Master's degree there and his adviser was Henry Kissinger. Rich felt quite intimidated but endeavored to do his best for his Master's thesis.

He researched and wrote what he thought to be a great paper. He took it to Mr. Kissinger. Mr. Kissinger said, "Leave it on my desk and come back in three days for it." On the third day Rich returned. Mr. Kissinger got up from behind his desk with the paper in hand, walked around the desk, sat on the edge of it and dropped the paper on the floor.

"You mean to tell me that after six years of a Harvard education under the tutelage of the best minds in the world, this is the best you can come up with? This is it?" He then turned, walked back to his chair, sat down and started back into his work.

Rich picked up the sheets of paper and left, a wad of embarrassment. He went back to his room and pored over his paper, ripping it apart with his editorial knife, trying to make it better. After several days of this slave duty, he brought the paper back to Mr. Kissinger.

"Leave it on my desk. Come back in five days."

Same exact turn of events. Well, Rich went home that night ready to quit school. He felt horrible, but he wasn't going to let Mr. Kissinger win, so to speak. So, back to the paper. Every word, every comma, every sentence, every point, every sub-point scrutinized, cross-examined, interrogated.

He finally returned the paper to Mr. Kissinger.

"Leave it on my desk. Come back in seven days."

Same ritual. "Is this the best you can do? Is this it?"

"Well, yes. It is. I don't know what else I could do to make it better."

"Good. Now I'll read it."
 

maestrowork

Re: Grammar help

The mystery has been solved: Who strangled Henry Kissinger?

:grin
 

Chris Goja

Kissinger

A good anecdote. A bad man.

Pop quiz: What was the name of the comedian who gave up when he found out Kissinger had been nominated for the Nobel peace price, because nothing he could come up with would ever top that?
 

paritoshuttam

Making chapters interesting

Hi,

Each passing day I only seem to realise what my novel lacks. :(

Based on the almost identical inputs from two agents saying they had liked the premise of my novel, but were not "dazzled" by the prose, I decided I should go in for a re-write (minor or major, I don't know as yet).

A decent interval has passed since I last touched the manuscript. On re-reading, I find the initial chapters are not very interesting. The story picks up momentum a little later on, but it is the initial chapters that I need to send the agents.

I know this is a case by case question, but are there any general ways of making chapters interesting? That would make the reader/agent want to quickly turn over to the next one? This is a normal human story; no horror or sci-fi or fantasy. And there won't be any ticking time bombs under the chair at the end of each chapter.

One way I thought of was to divide my long chapters into shorter ones. Am also paying attention to the chapter switches in the books I find gripping. I was reading Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar last night. The story could be about any 20-year old girl, and yet I found myself bounding from chapter to chapter though I was sleepy. That's the quality I know I want, but... I am stuck as to how to actually do it.

Thanks,
Paritosh.
 

jeffspock

re: Kissinger -- urban legend alert

Actually, Tom Lehrer had stopped satire long before that, though he did say that political satire became obsolete when Kissinger won the Nobel Peace prize.

More details in an interview with "The Onion" here:

www.theavclub.com/feature...e=3619&f=1

and an article here:

www.smh.com.au/articles/2...53895.html

While he became famous as a (howlingly funny) satirist and comedian, he was a math professor at UC Santa Cruz until 2001.
 

pdr

writing for the market

Grateful thanks for the Tom Lehrer references. You're the first American I've 'met' who appreciates him. I thought he was one of those 'without honour in his own country'. His skill with words still takes my breathe away.
 

maestrowork

Re: Making chapters interesting

I know this is a case by case question, but are there any general ways of making chapters interesting? That would make the reader/agent want to quickly turn over to the next one? This is a normal human story; no horror or sci-fi or fantasy. And there won't be any ticking time bombs under the chair at the end of each chapter.

One way I thought of was to divide my long chapters into shorter ones. Am also paying attention to the chapter switches in the books I find gripping. I was reading Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar last night. The story could be about any 20-year old girl, and yet I found myself bounding from chapter to chapter though I was sleepy. That's the quality I know I want, but... I am stuck as to how to actually do it.

Paritosh, I also write a basic "human" story with no bombs or terrorists or vampires or aliens. My ms. started too slow and the plot didn't become "interesting" until later on -- too much character stuff in the beginning and not enough "plot." Here's what I did:

1. I cut out 7 chapters, and started the story very close to the point of "no turning back" -- in my case, it's a decision. Before that chapter, the protagonist was basically reacting to things that happened to him. Not until he made a major decision in chapter 8 did the story really kick into gear. The cut was necessary. As Uncle Jim said, start your story when "the theater door is shut and you can't go back in." This work on both physical level (a bomb is about the go off) or pyschological level (I can't go back to my wife). A slow character-study start may work in long literary works of the past, but not in 2004 (there are exceptions, of course. I really liked the movie "Lost in Translation," which is pretty slow).

2. After that chapter, I had a major flashback that was about 15 pages long. I cut it up into smaller, logical chunks, and each chunk presented a question to be answered: Who is this person? What is he going to do next? Etc. Then intersperse these chapters with the main story chapters, creating a literary equivalent of a movie "cross cut." By starting and stopping the readers between the "now" and "then," I tried to create a sense of suspense, feeding them information yet also making them ask more questions -- and these questions are important to the on-going "now" storyline.

Still, that won't make the readers turn the page if they don't care about what is going to happen. You still need good characters, good dialogues, etc. to put them in that "dream state." Make them experience the story instead of just being "told" how it is. You've got to have interesting characters with real desires and a quest or something at stake. That's why you should start the story at that "point of no return" to make them care.

To build momentum and suspense, each chapter should answer at least one question that the readers asked in previous chapters, but create more questions for them to find out. It works for any genre, not just a thriller/suspense novel. If Simone is going out to buy tea, make us realize how the tea is so important to have (perhaps she is trying to impress a would-be suitor, with whom she's desperately in love?) -- that's a question answered. Then have all the stores in London out of that particular tea -- now that's a question that needs to be answered. Because the stake is pretty high (she will lose the man of her dream), you have the readers asking "oh oh, what is she going to do?" Now add another character, a woman called Sarah, who also wanted that man for herself, and she has the last bag of tea -- now you have a conflict. Build your plot with conflict, obstacles and high stakes in mind, driven by the characters' desires, fears, hatred, etc. And actions and circumstances that create consequences (if she doesn't get the tea, what will happen?) -- NOW, you have plot.
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Making chapters interesting

I know this is a case by case question, but are there any general ways of making chapters interesting?

Interesting people in interesting places do interesting things.

Note the verb: "to do."

A character moves, either physically, mentally, or emotionally.

Short anwer: Stuff happens.
 

PianoTuna

Re: Another apple

Jim, if your writing here has gotten locals bought a dozen of your books; two dozen, even; how many cents per hour does it come to?
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Making chapters interesting

You want plot? You want interest? I got 'em both right here.

Observe Stuff Happening in the fifteen minute version of Troy.

See if you don't read to the very end.

Yes! Stealing this plot is Okay!
 
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James D Macdonald

Re: Another apple

Jim, if your writing here has gotten locals bought a dozen of your books; two dozen, even; how many cents per hour does it come to?

Not a whole friggin' lot, Piano.

But I tell you what, guys. Yeah, it's nice that you buy my books. Really, I want you to. Dozens. They make excellent gifts. Don't forget to review 'em on Amazon, either.

But...

What would make me happier would be for y'all to get some of the other books and films I've been recommending right the way along in here. Really, not kidding, these works will explain concepts I'm trying to get across. I'm not recommending them just to fill space. Get 'em, read/watch 'em (or build the model), understand what I'm trying to say.

This is where the coach says "You get out of it what you put into it!" and all the players yell "Yeah!" and they go and beat the powerhouse school that everyone thought was going on to the State Championships, and the mysterious benefactor comes across with a huge donation so that Old Pivnich Tech can stay open rather than being sold to a real estate developer, and there's a happy ending when Billy and Sally (quarterback and cheerleader, respectively) pledge "We'll always be true!" and get married, the end.

Quitters never win! Winners never quit! Drat those torpedoes, just drat them!

(Notes on Billy and Sally: For a while, there, it looked like Sally was going to marry (or at least go all the way with) Sam, quarterback of the powerhouse school that everyone thought would win, but at the last moment she remembered that Billy was her true love, so she turned down Sam's improper suggestions, went back to the sorority house to put her BIC and write original prose for two hours, then scampered to the stadium during the final minutes of the Big Game in time to cheer Billy on so that he was able to make an 80 yard pass with just seconds left on the clock, winning the game.)

Meanwhile, get the books I suggested and read 'em.
 

maestrowork

Re: Making chapters interesting

That's funny... the guy is a genius. (He talked about more than 15 minutes of the movie though... more like 40 minutes).
 

James D Macdonald

On Submissions

Each passing day I only seem to realise what my novel lacks.

This is good. This is learning the craft.

<hr>

Some people have asked me how to track submissions. I know that there are some software packages out there (some quite pricey) that track submissions.

Let me tell you how to track submissions.

You have finished your book or story (and I mean finished -- all revisions done, ready to go).

Make a master copy of that story.

Put it in a file folder.

Make a list of all the markets you can think of that are suitable for this story. Start with the best market you can think of -- for whatever "best" means to you. (For me, "best" means most prestige/highest paying.) Each story may well have a different list.

Put these markets on a sheet (or two sheets, or whatever) of paper, ranked from first to last.

Put this sheet with the master copy of your manuscript.

Send out the manuscript to the first place on that story's list.

When the manuscript comes back (and it probably will), draw a line through the address of the publisher who just returned it, and send it that same day to the next place on the list. Continue until you have a line drawn thorugh every market on that story's sheet.

Have new markets opened up since you made the list? Try there. If no new markets, put that story to bed in your desk drawer for a minimum of one year, then re-read it with an eye to rewriting it.

Now, suppose a market writes back saying "yes" to a story. Circle that publisher's address on that story's sheet. Go to every other file folder you have, and put that market's address on your list, immediately under the last crossed-out address (provided it is a suitable story).

Suppose a publisher writes back with a rejection, but with the note "try us with your next."

Cross out that publisher on that story's sheet. Go to all or your other stories' sheets and put that publisher (provided it is a suitable market) directly under the last address that you crossed out.

Simple, easy, no problems.

The master copy of the manuscript is so you can photocopy a new one if the one that comes back is worn-looking, or if you are using disposable manuscripts.

What do I mean by "suitable market"? Don't send your hard-boiled private-eye stories to Little Bitty Bunny Tales magazine. Don't send "My Happiest Christmas" to Buckets of Blood magazine. You're still responsible for knowing the market.

Meanwhile, write another darned story.
 

Fresie

Photocopy

Uncle Jim, thanks! Can I ask a question which is probably quite stupid but again, it's because I've obviously read too much "writing advice". You say:

The master copy of the manuscript is so you can photocopy a new one if the one that comes back is worn-looking, or if you are using disposable manuscripts.

So is it all right to photocopy a manuscript, then? Everybody seems to be saying, "always print out a fresh copy". That's what I do with articles and short stories, but obviously a novel is a huge beast, all this waste of printer ink, so--is it really all right to photocopy? (I realise it has to be a quality copy).

BTW, I've noticed that Courrier takes dramatically less ink than other fonts. It's impressively economical, in fact. But it would be nice to know you have both options.
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Photocopy

A high-quality photocopy is indistinguishable from the output of a laser printer (they use identical processes).

We're not in the days anymore when photocopies turned out white-on-black, or when photocopies were on that dreadful slick paper.

You're making your photocopies from the master document each time, not submitting a copy-of-a-copy-of-a-copy.

So yes, photocopy submissions are allowable. With disposable manuscripts, even expected.

(When you're getting ready to send a manuscript back out, take a moment to run through it to make sure it still has all its pages, and no one's turned one of them upside down or something.)


(And yes, Courier does use less toner.)
 

Fresie

Thanks!

Thanks a lot, Uncle Jim. Now all I need to do is finish the bloody thing so I can start worrying about photocopies.:rollin
 

paritoshuttam

Re: Making chapters interesting

Thanks, maestro.

I agree, moving back and forth in time can create interest and suspense. But sometimes it might not be possible. I did consider the flashbacks and the forwards but I felt in my case it would work against me.

In essence, you could call my story a "growth of character" or "coming of age" story. My intention was to show the main character's innocence at the beginning. As the novel progresses, external forces influence him and affect his character. And by the end, his character has shifted to the opposite end of the spectrum from where he began. Just say, he starts off as a good guy and turns bad.

Now I wanted to show this change gradually to make it seem believable. If I use forwards and flashbacks, I would be sabotaging my own plan. I feel it wouldn't work if in Chapter One I make him good and in Chapter Two I make him bad, and the rest of the novel interpolating the extremes.

But I see the danger of going in a linear way--I am not able to build up the suspense, the anticipation.

Do I sound confusing or confused? :shrug Hope you get what I say, Uncle Jim and maestro and others.

Thanks,
Paritosh.
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Making chapters interesting

Two things, paritoshuttam:

1) Write the full book and see how it reads. You can shuffle and reshuffle the order of scenes in second and third drafts.

2) As a general principle, only violate strict chronology for the very best of reasons.

<hr>
But I see the danger of going in a linear way--I am not able to build up the suspense, the anticipation.

That's what "foreshadowing" was invented for.
 

maestrowork

Re: Photocopy

P,

Do you have a subplot that you can use to do the "cross cutting"?

Foreshadowing is a good technique to create suspense. Just don't be too coy so to irritate the readers.

Basically nothing is wrong with straight chronological storytelling, and without reading your ms I really can't tell if there's anything wrong with your structure. However, if you feel like the story is not moving along fast enough, etc. I do suggest looking into some type of structural changes to create a little more momentum. If you can't use flashbacks, use subplots. If you don't have subplots, try to cut your chapters differently -- end on a question, and not a conclusion... For example, if your original chapter is:

- Jack goes to the store to buy a particular type of tea, but they're all out. So he drives all the way to Chicago and find it there.

Cut your chapter into two:

1. Jack goes to the store and buys a particular type of tea, but they're all out. What to do?

2. Jack decides to go to Chicago, and he finds it. But he forgets his wallet. What to do?

....


Something like that may speed up your momentum and help turn that page. Again, without reading your ms, I can't really give you any specific suggestions that is suitable for you.
 

maestrowork

Re: Thanks!

But nowadays, printing out a fresh copy is probably cheaper than going to Kinko's, even considering the cost of paper and ink toner. Except you'll get some wear-and-tear on your laser printer.

It costs me $0.05 per page to photocopy the master at Kinko's. It costs me $0.009 per page (toner) and $0.001 (paper) so the total cost for printing a fresh copy is $0.01 per page.
 

macalicious731

Re: Making chapters interesting

Now I wanted to show this change gradually to make it seem believable. If I use forwards and flashbacks, I would be sabotaging my own plan.

In some cases, a gradual change can be too slow on the reader's end. What could be helpful would be to separate the gradual narrative with one or two key scenes which show your character as potentially bad. This would be the foreshadowing both Jim and Maestro mentioned.

Your character could be walking down the street and see a little kid in need of help. What does he do? Does he help him, hurt him, etc...? The character doesn't need to already be bad in these situations. The difference comes from when he's good and always thinks the same way, then he contemplates the "bad" thoughts, then finally acts them out. Scenes like those should not only provide foreshadow, but tension and suspense. They can also give the reader a bit of a shock when the character finally does go bad if you've built him up correctly - they've expected it, but because of these mini situations, they won't know the real turn for sure until you give it to them.

<3.
 

maestrowork

Re: Making chapters interesting

Just another thought... it's interesting that your character goes from good to bad. It sounds a little depressing, but I suppose it can work -- I mean Star Wars I,II and III are about the down fall of Anakin Skywalker (although there's an up ... he also gains power -- and also we have the benefit of SW IV, V and VI in which we know how it all ends.. happily). So I am thinking, to show your character going from good to bad, you have to give him something -- something he desires, and something at stake -- Power? Revenge? Hatred? Something happens to him? What drives him to madness? That sort of things will (1) enhance your characters and make the readers empathize with him and (2) give you plot momentum and suspense.

(BTW, the Star Wars trilogies use a lot of foreshadowing to increase the suspense.)
 

pina la nina

chapter structures

In terms of creating gripping chapters - seems to me like you'd want to start each one with a hook, kind of like how you'd want to start your book.

And then to give some thought to the end of each chapter too - not to view the chapter as the end of a short story with too much wrapped up. To try and balance between the closure of that scene and the hint of what's to come.

I'm not explaining myself well - but I find JK Rowling great at this, she ends each chapter in a way that you just have to see what's coming next and starts each one so that you don't want to put it down.

And can I tell you how excited I am about the file cards? I do time lines, but they can get unwieldy, I will be transcribing to cards forthwith!
 
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