Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

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stormie267

Split Infinitives

Stef, don't worry too much about split infinitives. That rule comes from Latin, where you can't split infinitives. Hey, Uncle Jim, maybe that could be a discussion!
 

Joanclr

Gods and stuff

Ha, I was just wondering that myself (yes, I got GG too). Either that or maybe we are all extra gifted around here :D Actually, I was disappointed that they did not give a breakdown of which were right and which were wrong. There were a couple I was tossing up between two and was curious to know if I got 'em right or not.
 

Beaver

Grammar master

I did not quite make the grammar god, but I got a cool picture of Mr. Miagi and Dainel-san. By the way... what is the plural of Mr.?

Beaver (Grammar Master) :party
 

Lori Basiewicz

Joining the Ranks on Mount Olympus

I, too, am a Grammar God. Though I think I will consider myself a Grammar Goddess.
 

aka eraser

Re: Grammar master

Average. :smack

Luckily I have a wonderful personality. :grin
 

espz

Helpful Link

Hello! First post. Been lurking here a while, though!
I'm only a grammer master, not a god :( and am still having trouble with BIC.

But found this excellent link to comparing java programming with writing a western novel that I thought might be helpful to some people.

sep.stanford.edu/sep/jon/...p/oop1.htm
 

SFEley

Re: Helpful Link

Argh! I was just about to post that same link. I'm guessing we're both Slashdot readers...

Oh, and since I'm here: Hi, Jim. Great discussion you've got here. I thought you might like to know that my first big novel is under consideration with one of the top New York agents right now. Part of my ability to finish it stems from adapting your final exercise to me at Viable Paradise those many years back. Thank you for that.

(And I still owe you a beer. Possibly two.) >8->


Have Fun,
- Steve Eley
 

Yeshanu

Grammar Goddess

My religious side is saying that "Grammar God" is too much -- perhaps "Grammar Demi-God" or "Grammar Angel" would work. After all, I don't make the rules, I just follow them...

For those of you who are just average, go back and look at all possible ratings. You can click on it when your score comes up. There is one below "average", but we really dont want to know about it, do we? :gone

Anyhow, whatever your rating, if you keep learning, you'll be a Grammar God (or Goddess, or Angel) one of these days. Keep it up! :clap

Blessings,
Ruth
 

Chris Goja

Playing catch-up

*Phew! Gasp, gasp, gasp.*

They say Pheidippides dropped dead after he made it back home to whatever ancient Greek city he lived in, and it's not surprising, considering the distance he had gone to gossip...

I have to say that I know how he felt, because I've been playing catch-up with all of you for the last three or four weeks, and boy, has that been a marathon! :snoopy

I must be in better shape than I thought, though, because I'm feeling energized, and rearing to go. All those tips that Jim (and others) have provided throughout have only served to rev my engines, and now I want to contribute as well!

First of all, though, a truly heartfelt thank you to Jim and company for everything I've gleaned so far: My reading is completely different now that I actively look for what works and what doesn't, my chess game has improved no end since I got the Book (yes, I PLAY chess, surprising as that may be to some. It is something you can do with all those little wooden figures, apart from using them as metaphors...), and as soon as I have moved house I will start applying myself to BIC.

That aside, I would like to hear if anyone has anything interesting to say about humorous writing - I find it one of the most enjoyable - and difficult - things to do, and any tips and pointers would be very welcome.

Finally, for those of you who want to try your hands at chess this very minute, here's one of my favorite sites:

<a href="http://www.instantchess.com" target="_new">www.instantchess.com</a>

Have fun!
 

Dancre

Re: Re:Grammar Gods

Umm, i'm a bit of a master of grammar. but at least i'm not at the bottom of the list! well, back to my grammar lessons. :hat
 

MiltonPope

re: Grammar Gods

Another Grammar God here. This is the first time in my life anyone has complimented me on grammatical skill; most people are indifferent. It feels good. Well. Good.

--Milton
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Helpful Link

Hi, Steve Eley, good to see you here!

Yes, I do have fun, and that's excellent news about your novel.

Now a minor brag of my own, and a digression.

First, the brag: We had two short stories come out last year: one original, one reprint. Both of the anthologies they appear in are listed here: <A HREF="http://www.voya.com/" target="_new">VOYA</A> (Voice of Youth Advocates) <a href="http://pdfs.voya.com/VO/YA2/VOYA200404BestSciFi.pdf" target="_new">Best Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror 2003</a>.

That's a major review venue, and it's nice to be noticed. The specific anthologies are <a href="http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/new_skies.htm" target="_new">New Skies</a> and <a href="http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/crusade_fire.htm" target="_new">Crusade of Fire: Mystical Tales of the Knights Templar</a>.

In further good news, today's mail brought a royalty check for $17.50. Not much, but those checks have been arriving every six months for the past nine years for one short story in one anthology. It does add up over time; no further work required on our part.

This brings us to the digression:

Anthologies.

Here's the way fiction anthologies work:

An editor pitches an anthology idea to a publisher. ("We'll get Stephen King, John Grisham, Tom Clancy, and a few other people to contribute....")

The publisher likes the idea, and writes a contract with the editor, sending the editor an advance. Standard royalties, you know the deal.

The editor then sends letters to King, Clancy, and Grisham, all of whom write back polite notes saying words to the effect of "So sorry, much too busy."

At this point the "a few others" clock in, because one of them can be you. The editor lets it be known that he's reading for an anthology, with the following title, following theme (can be anything from very specific to very broad), that the deadline is this, the lengths requested are that, and off you go.

The editor selects from this vast slush-heap (the size of the slush heap varying by how well known he is, and how widely noised-about the anthology is) the dozen or so stories he wants. Edits them, all that.

If the editor is canny, he will pay on acceptance (you get a better quality of slush that way). If he's stingy, he'll pay on publication. If he's a moron who has spent all the advance money on a flashy website, or a cheap bastard who has decided to keep the money all for himself, there won't be any money at all (don't submit to those anthologies, kids!).

The stories come in, the payments go out (3-5 cents a word, whatever).

The anthology is printed. Most times it sinks without a trace, you take your story and try to resell it to other markets.

Sometimes, though, the anthology earns back its advance. There are royalties! Hurrah!

The editor gets those royalties. You haven't signed a contract with the publisher, you've signed your contract with the editor.

Generally, the editor keeps 50% of each royalty check, and divides the money among all the authors who contributed to the anthology. There are two ways of splitting it up: one is by the page (pro rata, this is called). So if the royalties are $100, the editor keeps $50, and divides the rest among the authors -- your story is ten pages out of a 350-page book, you get $1.43.

The other way is by dividing the money by the number of stories. Same $100 royalty, same $50 to the editor, you your ten-page story is one of a dozen stories in the book, you get $4.16.

The contract you have with the editor will specify how the royalties will be divided; pro rata or per story.

That's the way it's supposed to work.

Now I've had stories where the very first royalty payment was over $800. Selling to a book that sells well is a great way to live. I've had stories that have kept contributing small amounts to the household grocery fund for years -- over a decade in one case. Selling to a constantly-in-print anthology is nice.

What you don't want to do is sell all rights for a one-time-flat-fee (or, even worse, for nothing at all). You want to have profit participation in all of your words, and keep the rights yourself.

End of digression.
 

ChunkyC

Re: anthologies

Today's to do list....

1: print previous post from Uncle Jim
2: 3-hole punch printout
3: insert in huge binder with 'Uncle Jim's Wisdom' hand-written on the cover. Use wife's lipstick if you have to, just make sure it's legible.
4: anxiously await more nuggets

Thanks again, Uncle Jim. :thumbs
 

Hannibal

Hi there.

Hi I'm new here. I only found this forum this very day. I like to be a writer. I tryed it many times, but gave up :( now i wan't to do it realy and seeking help...I like this forum and i like Uncle Jim too :) I hope you can help me a bit... Thxx!!
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Hi there.

Hi, Hannibal --

If you haven't started from the beginning of this thread ... maybe you'd like to?
 

James D Macdonald

Something Else Depressing

<a href="http://vanveen.livejournal.com/186282.html" target="_new">We'll Always Have Paris</a>

Like I keep saying: Celebrities are in a different ball game from the rest of us.
 

Hannibal

Hi There!

Hi!! I'm fully new here and i hope i can find some help here how to start writeing.. I started a few works before but never finished them. Come to 100 pages almost but ended there always...I have many ideas i got a big fantasy nad i can wirte but i can't start and I'm lack of will power :( Can you help me oncle Jim ???
 

Hannibal

Sorrryyyyy

I bit of net problems ... i did not noticed that my previce repley had been posted... sorry... Uncle Jim i will read this whole forum i assure you :)
 

maestrowork

Re: Hi There!

One way to fight procrastination and force yourself to finish what you started is to set deadlines. Have a writing partner or someone who will push you to finish something every week. Say 3000 words a week... maybe 5000 a week... or whatever. The point is to move towards the end goal and keep you writing.

It also helps if you know how your story is going to end. Otherwise, if you hit a dry spell in the middle of your story and you have no idea what the ending should be, it feels like there's nothing to look forward to... and most people would just abandon their stories right there. If you can see the end... it gives you better motivation to get to that end.
 

Hannibal

Question

I have a question. When you have and idea for a book, do you write it down, develope it constract it and when you have the whole concept you begin to write or just write ahead and see what comes out ?
 

Hannibal

re.

I see ! So you would prefer to wirte the whole concept down first, and then start to write...

For the push...I have to find someone aye :)
 

maestrowork

Re: Sorrryyyyy

Personally, I'd do a general outline (but nothing detailed like Uncle Jim's). Usually I know what the beginning, middle and end should be, but not every detail. Part of the fun of writing a story is to let your characters whereever they want to go, but I'd still like to know where the story will ultimately take me. What are the central themes? Who are these characters (more may come later)? Etc.

An analogy I use is: Planning a road trip:

1. What are the themes of my trip: Scenic drive? Hit all the major cities? Visit friends and relatives?
2. Who are my main and secondary characters? (what kind of car am I driving? etc.)
3. Starting point? Destination (approximate)? I know I'll be starting in New York and end up somewhere in California, but that too may change. But at least you have an idea.
4. Which general directions are you going to go? North? South?
5. Map out some MAJOR set pieces... sort of like intermediate destinations... I'd really like to see Yellowstone Park... and the Rockies... if you don't plan them ahead, you may never get there.

Then just jump into the car and drive. Have fun. If you end up in Oregon, that's fine. At least you get somewhere.
 
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