Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

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Old Hack

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That explains the source of the dinosaur name Struthiomimus. (Which is one of the dinosaurs featured in a book that a certain 4-year-old makes me read to him almost every night. Struthiomimus looks a little like Ornithomimus, by the way, and they do both look a bit like giant flightless birds.)
 

FOTSGreg

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The base word comes from the Middle English (at least) meaning "to strut"

Origin:
bef. 1000; ME strouten to protrude stiffly, swell, bluster, OE strūtian to struggle, deriv. of *strūt (whence ME strut strife)


It describes the animal's stiff-legged gait or methodology of movement. Scientists frequently will use a particular characteristic or trait that identifies a particular animal in order to give it a specific "species" name (hence the term "species" deriving from "specific" meaning "exact" (roughly)).
 
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smsarber

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Uncle Jim, Here is the tidbit of fantasy I came up with. I just wanted to do a small little piece, but in these few words I see a larger story. So much for flash fiction. I just want to know if it has any potential, or if it's just crap.

KING ARAMAIN (working title)​



1
“It’s nearly dawn, Your Highness,” the page, Lon, said as he shook King Aramain’s shoulder.

The King sat up, as usual he looked fresh, wide awake and ready for battle. It was a gift, the ability to snap to attention in the blink of an eye, and it was this gift that had earned the King triumph in many battles. Lon silently wondered if he really ever slept at all--or if it was just an act, like a controlled meditation.

But he knew in truth that King Aramain’s alertness was just one of many gifts bestowed on him by Heregrath the Wizard.

“Help me with my armor, son,” said the King.

“Would Your Highness like to eat first?” Lon asked.

“The anticipation of battle is forefront in my mind--no food, but perhaps a chalice of wine,” King Aramain answered. “But first the armor.”

Lon helped the king suit up, wishing he could go into battle today. The Moraloch tribe were fierce beasts, every able-bodied man should be out on the field fighting. He knew better than to ask, though. His duties were in studies, King Aramain wanted him to have an education. Lon tightened the leather straps of the King’s breastplate around his back, then handed him his sword and sheath.

“I’ll fetch the wine, now.”

“Fine, Lon,” said Aramain. “And don’t despair, we will be victorious. One day, when you are properly educated you may ride into war with me, at my right hand, but for now you will have to be patient.”

2
King Aramain stood in front of the mirror, alone in his chamber.

“He is a good boy. Strong and smart, soon I will have to tell him he is my son, before he figures it out for himself. When the time is right he will take my place, and I will go to take my seat at the Table of Kings on Mount Grandielle.”

(all I have so far)
 

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reminds me of a certain little lad who has to pull a sword out of a stone.
 

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Could be something, could be nothing. It's first draft. What can I say? You won't know what you have until you write it.

Now here's a Flash Fiction I just wrote:

Serial killer pretends to be literary agent to lure girls to New York and into his clutches. Bad stuff ensues. Good guys win. Film at eleven.

---------

If anyone wants to use that one, do so with my blessing. (That is, incidentally, a novel-length idea.)
 

smsarber

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reminds me of a certain little lad who has to pull a sword out of a stone.
Don't worry, except for an owl named Archimedes I won't rip off The Sword in the Stone;)

It's fun to go out of your element. I did that little bit in a few minutes, went back and smoothed a couple lines because I just basically let it go without thinking about it, then said "Hey, I might have something here." We will see. I'll keep it around for a project to work on when I need a stress-relief.
 

Cyia

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Could be something, could be nothing. It's first draft. What can I say? You won't know what you have until you write it.

Now here's a Flash Fiction I just wrote:

Serial killer pretends to be literary agent to lure girls to New York and into his clutches. Bad stuff ensues. Good guys win. Film at eleven.

---------

If anyone wants to use that one, do so with my blessing. (That is, incidentally, a novel-length idea.)

Sounds like that Tyra Banks "set-up" a couple of years ago where they set up a phony audition to see how many women would show up and notice something was off with meeting a scummy guy in a hotel room outfitted with duct tape, rope, and a shovel.

The number of people who showed up - and stayed - should be enough to confirm there's an idea there.
 

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I have yet another question for you Mr. Macdonald.

I have a completed novel that I'm confused on. I've been looking into genre about it because, as a horror writer, I'm not sure exactly what it is. I thought it would be speculative/alternate history, since the novel is an alternate history.

The kicker is, though, that the novel in question is more about the effects a regimented upbringing and life long enslavement have on human minds. It is not a page turner by any means. It is my speculation on how the human psyche would be different had the outcome of WWII been different. There is a plot, but it's more coincidental and very slow moving. Someone told me that this would mean it is literary. I don't even understand what literary fiction is, much less have the ability to write it. Now, it is full of writer errors, and needs a bit more revision, but I'm almost done with that. I'm wondering if it's literary fiction? If so, I've been researching all the wrong markets and have to start from scratch.

Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions.
~Ellen
 

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Alternate history is a branch of science fiction, yes, but literary publishers do publish science fiction (see, for example, The Road).

I'm worried about your book, though. Do you like it? What are its good points? If you weren't the author and were trying to convince a friend to read it, what would you say?
 

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I love my novel. It has some writers errors simply because I didn't finish high school. I'm working on it to fix simple mistakes I made in simple sentence construction before I knew how things are supposed to work. It's an older project that I'm fixing up. It's good points are that it is simply beautiful, this not being my comment, but one from others (my betas) but one that I share with them. It is beautiful. And touching, even for me after rereading it.

That being said, the novel is about a young Jewish girl in the future (our future, not post war future). She is a slave whose deed has been purchased by a prominent Aryan family in rural North Carolina. Laura is given as a gift to her new owner's twelve year old son. They grow up together and Laura being in young Ayden's life changes how he thinks about his "animals" (which is what any other race is considered by the "Aryans"). He and Laura marry secretly when they are older and join a rebel military group, called the Neo. (Name is being reconsidered atm) Laura's duties are to teach other Jewish refugees that they are not animals and are not owned by anyone other than themselves. She teaches the Aryan children whose families have taken refuge that what they have been taught through Hitler's long approved educational system is mostly lies. Ayden, however, uses military strategy to help this rebel group with the war against the Regime and to free the Global Republic, with his Uncle the President of the Global republic giving him his orders secretly via the commander of the Neo. The story is more Laura's than Ayden's, though they are married. Ayden's military movements are like a back story. He wants to free the world... Laura wants to free their minds.

Does that make any sense?
 
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euclid

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Ellen: Have you written a synopsis (6-8 pages), a short synopsis (1 page), a submission-length synopsis (2 paragraphs), a hook (one paragraph) and a logline (One sentence) to describe the book? These are great exercises for finding out what your book is really about. They will also be needed when you come to submit your book to agents/publishers.
 

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Serial killer pretends to be literary agent to lure girls to New York and into his clutches. Bad stuff ensues. Good guys win. Film at eleven.

---------


Uncle Jim, that is very similar to how I put down ideas. I have many documents with a working title that contain only a single paragraph. I'll even leave questions for myself.

Along the lines of:

Story about a guy who discovers the US president (fictional) has been replaced with a technologically advanced robot. Robot from foreign government, aliens, or future? He is forced to take matters into his own hands, rescues the real president, then the two of them kill the robot.


Wow, there's another one : D
 
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euclid

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Perfume

I've just finished reading Perfume by Patrick Suskind.

Wonderful book. Seems to be his first book, too.

A number of phrases/words caught my eye, for example (on p 213):

"...the fog of gloomy foreboding in which he had tapped about for weeks had lifted."

I couldn't find this word in my dictionary. Seems like a strange choice of word. Is it really okay to invent words (in a debut novel)?

Also, half of page 6 is written in the present tense (the rest of the book is in past tense). This is a short scene where the MC is born. It seems an unnecessary contrivance to me. I mean, the scene could have been in past tense like the rest of the book, without loss of effect.

It's an interesting narrative method, told in third person omni, like a fable, mostly all telling with very little showing and hardly any dialog.
 
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Don

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"...the fog of gloomy foreboding in which he had tapped about for weeks had lifted."

I couldn't find this word in my dictionary. Seems like a strange choice of word. Is it really okay to invent words (in a debut novel)?
It's the past tense of tap. I envision a nearly-blind man tapping along with his cane, making sure the ground is firm in front of him.
 

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"...the fog of gloomy foreboding in which he had tapped about for weeks had lifted."

I couldn't find this word in my dictionary. Seems like a strange choice of word. Is it really okay to invent words (in a debut novel)?

I read "tapped" as being the past tense of something related to tap-dancing but that didn't go well with the gloomy fog. I then thought it might be related to "tap" like a faucet: "Tapping the market for good deals", and so on. Still not right for the sentence. That's when I gave up.

Bottom line: I have no idea what that sentence says. :Shrug:
 

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I agree...and I liked it...I like to see an author push the envelope a little and do things in a different way.
 

euclid

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It's the past tense of tap. I envision a nearly-blind man tapping along with his cane, making sure the ground is firm in front of him.

But the guy wasn't blind, or even nearly blind. No mention of his having a cane.
 

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Seems to me the meaning of the sentence is that the person has been fumbling around like a blind person tapping his cane in a fog of apprehensive anticipation of something bad happening.

...

Or perhaps a writer fumbling around like a blind person for just the right word...

But seriously: Unca Jim - I really enjoy this thread - it was one of the first threads I stumbled across on this forum. I love the way you gruffly (but gently) swipe your paw at the imbeciles.

My question is: have you ever written ahead of yourself? As in writing the ending or the middle of the story/novel before you got there? I had a teacher suggest this in an "in-class writing course" and I wanted to run out screaming. (I eventually did - I do not write well under flouorescent lighting!) I felt like she was a man pressuring me into bed before I've gotten to know him! I admit that I've felt like a bit of a failure because I kept my knees closed and wasn't able to dive under the covers! Is this something really kooky, or do you "pro's" do this all the time?

(patiently waiting to be swiped)
 
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cooeedownunder

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My question is: have you ever written ahead of yourself? As in writing the ending or the middle of the story/novel before you got there? I had a teacher suggest this in an "in-class writing course" and I wanted to run out screaming. (I eventually did - I do not write well under flouorescent lighting!) I felt like she was a man pressuring me into bed before I've gotten to know him! I admit that I've felt like a bit of a failure because I kept my knees closed and wasn't able to dive under the covers! Is this something really kooky, or do you "pro's" do this all the time?

(patiently waiting to be swiped)

I do all the time when I can't write the next consequetive scene or haven't been able to find the right words to move on. I find it helps to relieve writers block and allows me to continue writing the story instead of waiting for the muse to given me the next scene or chapter.
 
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