Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Status
Not open for further replies.

lexxi

bold enough for both those XXs
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
Messages
757
Reaction score
149
The first paragraph is fairly bland. By itself, it doesn't hook me.

Maybe just start the first sentence "William Craig, Whale Shaver, had just arrived . . ." Even with the mundane details of the rest of the paragraph, the job title would probably be intriguing enough to keep me going.
 

Don

All Living is Local
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 28, 2008
Messages
24,567
Reaction score
4,007
Location
Agorism FTW!
But I do have a problem with the visuals, because I'm mostly an aural learner. I often don't notice visual clues at all, and I have to go back and write them in, one painstaking detail at a time.
Ah, now I start to understand my own writing better. My 1500 word first chapter was primarily dialog. After letting it rest for a while, I 'watched' it and it turned into 2200 words with scenery and characters.

I think I must hear the radio version when I'm writing first draft. :)
 

Jerry B. Flory

under the Milky Way
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
1,299
Reaction score
467
Location
On the stage.
And that is unedited first draft, written as fast as I can type, as fast as I write any other post here. I had no idea when I started what would be happening at the bottom of the page. Building character as I go. That's why Bill notices the accents -- because at that moment I felt that he was the kind of guy who would notice accents. And why he had a trace button on his phone ... at that moment I thought of it (had no idea, even, when the phone rang what the caller would say).

I don't know who the caller is, or who Oberdorff Associates are, nor am I entirely sure what the Great Minsk Whale might be, or why anyone wants to shave it, or have it shaved.

The mug that Susan brought has "World's Greatest Whale Shaver" on it. It's a blue mug with white lettering. Susan herself is wearing a blue sweater, which goes well with her red hair. The door to that inner office has a frosted-glass window in it, with William Craig, Whale Shaver in black sans-serif lettering on it. The IN basket is to the right as you face the desk, the phone is to the left. The phone is black, with a row of five buttons on the bottom, under the dial (it's a dial phone, not touch-tone).

I could see all this as I was typing. There's tons more that I could see. I'm a very visual writer. All I'm doing is transcribing the movie in my head.

I think Susan is more of an associate than a secretary. I don't know if she's wearing a skirt or pants because I haven't looked yet.

This feels like a novel-length idea.

For first draft it's good sewer of consciousness writing.
Your secretary smacks of Heinlein. I'll bet she wouldn't serve coffee to anyone else unless they were close friends with Bill.
 

Niamh1882

Registered
Joined
Nov 30, 2008
Messages
15
Reaction score
2
Location
Texas
Website
www.yamisnano.blogspot.com
Okay. Go to a used-book store. (This is fun all in itself.) Go to the box where they keep the Really Cheap books. Look through it until you find a book that's labeled as having been a Best Seller or major Award Winner. (Not "by the best-selling author" or "by the award-winning author" -- the book itself has to have won the award or sold the copies.) This should be a book you've never read; preferably one you've never heard of.

I'm still hunting. My initial search turned up a copy of <<Capitaines Courageux>>. Why the used bookstore attached to the church across the street from my apartment had a c. 1958 French translation of Rudyard Kipling I don't know. Of course, this doesn't meet any of the critera for the challenge. It is not a best seller or and award winner (since the orignial publication pre-dates best seller lists and most litterary prizes). I've read it before (in English). I paid more than 50 cents for it (2 EUR). At least I got away without buying Lady Chatterly's Lover, which was also avialable in French for some reason.

The hunt for a suitable book goes on! On Thursday, I shall search the rest of the street. :)

Glad to hear that the rest of you are having better luck than I am.
 

Niamh1882

Registered
Joined
Nov 30, 2008
Messages
15
Reaction score
2
Location
Texas
Website
www.yamisnano.blogspot.com
I would definitely turn the page on the whale-shaver book, just as soon as somebody writes page two. I think the phone call could very well have come from Moscow. Who else would have an interest in keeping Americans away from the Minsk Whale but Russians making a bid for control of endangered Belorussian wild-life? The un-traceable accent is clearly the result of a Soviet-Era voice synthesizer, originally used by the KGB, which has since become accessible to civilians, or at least the civilians in organized crime.
 

Perle_Rare

Dragon rider
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 18, 2007
Messages
529
Reaction score
164
Location
Lurking somewhere in dark places...
Page one of _This Razor For Hire_. The question is, as always... would you turn the page?

Yes! :D

Let me know when you get this published. I'll go out and buy one, buy a dozen, give them away as gifts! :D

On a more serious note, I'm a newbie at writing and so far, I've started two WIPs the same way you mentionned: no idea where things were going but letting things be defined as I typed. The first WIP made it to about 24k words while the second is hovering at roughly 15k. I'm happy with what I have so far for both of them. Problem is, I've reached the point where neither is going anywhere. Trying to figure out what happens next is like pulling teeth.

What would you suggest to get me out of this predicament?
 

James D. Macdonald

Your Genial Uncle
Absolute Sage
VPX
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
25,582
Reaction score
3,785
Location
New Hampshire
Website
madhousemanor.wordpress.com
What would you suggest to get me out of this predicament?

You're in the dread Mid Book.

The first 20K is easy. The last 20K is joy. It's the middle 40K that's like swimming through quicksand.

Remind yourself that those distant mountains are getting closer with every step, though you cannot see it now.

Also, I do have an idea where this book is heading ... a scene with Bill beside a bearded rabbi, in a palace filled with Fabergé eggs, ready to help the rabbi out of a pure-white marble window onto the dangling ladder from a Zeppelin hovering overhead.

I may never get to that scene. Probably won't, in fact. But it's an aiming point while I'm learning what the book is really about and what its true ending is supposed to be.
 

Ken Schneider

Absolute sagebrush
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 27, 2005
Messages
1,977
Reaction score
414
Location
location,location.
Yep, write down the movie in your head, and don't forget to show the movie not just tell us what you see.

Good Jim. I read on. I write the same way. You know those characters will find their own way and make the story for you after a while, anyway.
 

Yeshanu

Elf Queen
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
6,757
Reaction score
2,410
Location
Up a Tree
I may never get to that scene. Probably won't, in fact.

A question for you, Uncle Jim:

Do you ever write anything just for the heck of it, with no thought about getting published? I don't mean posts, I mean longer pieces like whole short stories or books?

And do you "practice," as a musician might practice, trying various forms of writing that may never be seen in public?

I'm asking because when I started my NaNo novel, I was really blocked, and I said to myself, "I'm going to have fun. I'm writing to learn and have fun, not get published." And it worked. Not only did I "win" NaNo, I learned a heck of a lot about myself and about writing that I didn't know in October. So I was wondering if, like a musician, it was important to keep doing this throughout one's career.
 

Yeshanu

Elf Queen
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
6,757
Reaction score
2,410
Location
Up a Tree
Yep, write down the movie in your head, and don't forget to show the movie not just tell us what you see.

The problem with these instructions, Ken, is that I don't see. I hear, and to a lesser extent smell and feel, but I don't see, at least not very well. So writing what I see doesn't come out very well.

For my NaNo novel, as an example, I had the characters visit Union Station in Toronto. I couldn't do it from memory, despite the fact that I'd been in the exact same spot as my characters literally thousands of time.

So I went there yesterday, and sat down against a pillar, and wrote a description of exactly what I was looking at. And I saw things I'd never noticed before.
 

James D. Macdonald

Your Genial Uncle
Absolute Sage
VPX
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
25,582
Reaction score
3,785
Location
New Hampshire
Website
madhousemanor.wordpress.com
Do you ever write anything just for the heck of it, with no thought about getting published? I don't mean posts, I mean longer pieces like whole short stories or books?

Whole stories or books? No. Scenes? All the darned time. I mean, you just saw me do it.

You should write without thought of getting published, because if you're having fun the reader can tell. Likewise, if you're bored, the reader can tell that too.

And do you "practice," as a musician might practice, trying various forms of writing that may never be seen in public?

Totally. Especially formal poetry (sonnets and sestinas, for example).

(Beware. The villanelle is the most restrictive of all sandwich forms.)
 

smsarber

Coming soon to a nightmare near you
Requiescat In Pace
Registered
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
4,855
Reaction score
1,549
Age
47
Location
Sleep... Those little slices of Death. How I loath
The problem with these instructions, Ken, is that I don't see. I hear, and to a lesser extent smell and feel, but I don't see, at least not very well. So writing what I see doesn't come out very well.

For my NaNo novel, as an example, I had the characters visit Union Station in Toronto. I couldn't do it from memory, despite the fact that I'd been in the exact same spot as my characters literally thousands of time.

So I went there yesterday, and sat down against a pillar, and wrote a description of exactly what I was looking at. And I saw things I'd never noticed before.
I'm the same way. I do see it, but in a small and fleeting way. I need to get back to writing down random observations again. Knowing what I do now, I may be able to actually use that to better my writing.
 

Niamh1882

Registered
Joined
Nov 30, 2008
Messages
15
Reaction score
2
Location
Texas
Website
www.yamisnano.blogspot.com
A question for you, Uncle Jim:
And do you "practice," as a musician might practice, trying various forms of writing that may never be seen in public?

Oh yes, I've filled more than one note book with random things either written as practice or scribbled observations of the world around me. [Because I never know when I might need an authentic piece of Roman subway graffiti for a story.]

I haven't been published yet, but I certainly get my practice in. My current notebooks include everything from half of a pastoral short story (because I'm taking a class on the genera and trying to write one seemed like a good idea when I started) to a notice from a convent I stayed in a few months ago that states "it is not allowed to drink alcoholics".

You're not alone. Practice makes perfect.
 

James D. Macdonald

Your Genial Uncle
Absolute Sage
VPX
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
25,582
Reaction score
3,785
Location
New Hampshire
Website
madhousemanor.wordpress.com
Until you send off the finished work to an editor any page may turn out to have been "just for practice."

And until the editor sends back a check any book or story may turn out to have been "just for practice."
 

Jerry B. Flory

under the Milky Way
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
1,299
Reaction score
467
Location
On the stage.
Try again tomorrow, but you aren't allowed to use the word "was," the word "being," or the phrase "have been."
heheheh
 

Duncan J Macdonald

Plotting! Not Plodding!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
1,882
Reaction score
455
Age
66
Location
Northern Virginia
I don't know who the caller is, or who Oberdorff Associates are, nor am I entirely sure what the Great Minsk Whale might be, or why anyone wants to shave it, or have it shaved.

The IN basket is to the right as you face the desk, the phone is to the left. The phone is black, with a row of five buttons on the bottom, under the dial (it's a dial phone, not touch-tone).

I think Susan is more of an associate than a secretary. I don't know if she's wearing a skirt or pants because I haven't looked yet.

This feels like a novel-length idea.
Oberdorff Associates are known, primarily in Europe, as purveyors of fine linens. Bill wouldn't know this, as he's single, and has never shopped for a trousseau.

From the positioning of the IN basket and the phone, Bill is either left handed, or ambidextrous. I vote for left handed. He also has a problem with today's wireless world - he doesn't carry a Blackberry, and he takes notes, by hand, with a fountain pen.

Susan is in a skirt, knee length, because that's the kind of impression that she wants to project - business-like, and sure of herself. She will always dress appropriate to the situation at hand - be it a Dior evening gown or whipcord hiking trousers with a Sherpa vest - and she'll beat her boss to the draw with any weapon you care to name.
 

James D. Macdonald

Your Genial Uncle
Absolute Sage
VPX
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
25,582
Reaction score
3,785
Location
New Hampshire
Website
madhousemanor.wordpress.com
My beloved elder daughter's first novel is now available for pre-order.

Please note that the cover art and blurb are up five months before the book will hit the shelves. And it will assuredly hit the shelves, not to mention wire-rack spinners in bus stations everywhere. (This is why you want to go with a commercial publisher.)

Salt and Silver by Anna Katherine. Order your Arbor Day presents early!

Allie can’t seem to get it together. Ever since her mom ran away to Rio with Rio—her tennis instructor—stealing Allie’s trust fund and her comfortable way of life, Allie has been floundering. She works in Sally’s Diner, and lives above it. And one night in the basement, she and her friends chant a ridiculous spell—for money, for luck, for love…and open a Doorway to Hell.

Ryan thinks he’s got it all figured out. When the Door opened he appeared out of nowhere, a Stetson-wearing demon hunter dressed in leather. He’s assigned to the Door, and hangs out at the diner, and when the Door disappears he is certain that Allie had something to do with it.

But something strange is happening in Brooklyn. Something bigger than Allie, and Ryan, and the Door in the diner basement. And when a meeting of demon hunters gives birth to a dangerous idea, Allie and Ryan are left to wonder if the fragile feelings growing between them can survive a trip to Hell…or if they themselves will survive at all.
 
Last edited:

Perle_Rare

Dragon rider
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 18, 2007
Messages
529
Reaction score
164
Location
Lurking somewhere in dark places...
Uncle Jim,

What does it take for a book to be labelled as "bestseller"?

I went to my local library and, for $5, I walked out with a grocery bag full of used books the library was selling off. Many of those were "bestsellers" by authors I had never heard of.

Now the issue will be, which one to choose for the assignment? :D
 

euclid

Where did I put me specs?
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
1,964
Reaction score
229
Location
Paradise
Website
www.jjtoner.com
I've finished reading and documenting my book. "Doors Open" by Ian Rankin. I have notes of contents and characters (and mistakes) for each chapter. What do I do now?

I'VE JUST NOTICED: THIS IS MY 500TH POST !
 
Last edited:

Teriann

optimist
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 30, 2008
Messages
1,074
Reaction score
1,607
Greetings, and thanks for the great advice. I was going to wait to post a question (and introduce myself) until I read all the way through the thread, but I'm only a 10th of the way through, and I have a question about something I read.

You gave a "trick" : start a story arch, and before reaching the climax, start a second story arch, and then substitute the second climax for the first. (I think I paraphrased that correctly.)

I'm not clear on this. Can you explain, or refer me to something to read so I can understand better what you mean? (This afternoon I will look for a copy of the Chess book, I promise.)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.