Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Uncle Jim, I have a question. One of the lead characters in "A Birthday Suicide" is named Willis Jefferson. Throughout the first draft I alternately use three different names for him: Willis, Jefferson, and The Big Man. Is it proper to do that, or might it be a tad confusing?

smsarber said:

Uncle Jim, I have a question. One of the lead characters in "A Birthday Suicide" is named Willis Jefferson. Throughout the first draft I alternately use three different names for him: Willis, Jefferson, and The Big Man. Is it proper to do that, or might it be a tad confusing?

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I think I'd be too busy singing "Movin' on Up" to notice.

Ha-ha, funny!

James D. Macdonald said:

May I comment here that portraying boredom or monotony in our novels is always dangerous? We run the risk of boring our readers.

To do this on the first page bespeaks either ... well, I wouldn't try it here in the first decade of the twenty-first century.

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And I guess that this is the fundamental problem I have with this novel. I don't read to be bored, or read about bored characters.

As for the philosophy espoused in the prologue, I've been doing a lot of thinking about it since you posted it, and may at some point delve into it from a more academic angle, because of where I believe it came from. I still see it as fundamentally flawed, but his flawed reasoning is very common. Still need to think before I argue with him, though.

Uncle Jim, may I direct your attention to this article, not just for the back and forth about divisions being dropped, but for the comment section as well?

Apparently, low salaries and celebrities who get big advances are to blame for publishing's troubles (along with TV and texting), not mention their unwillingness to "take a chance on new writers who come up with fresh and original material."

HConn said:

...celebrities who get big advances are to blame for publishing's troubles...

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This is a personal pet peeve of mine, especially freaking sports stars who just pay ghost writers to write their book so they can make some extra money. And bookstores lap it all up because they care more about making a buck than promoting good writers.

Almost every second Friday I walk past this bookstore in the city and the manager is outside calling people in to come to a book signing of some famous sports star. One day I'm gonna scream at her, "Get a real writer!"

Shuffling around people within their organisation is just the old game companies play to avoid actually working.

-publishers and agents are still requiring authors to send in printed ms
-they don't have content management driven websites
-they don't have automated email reply scripts
-they don't blog (although some have started)
-they don't use their websites as marketing tools
-they don't use their websites to manage clients (authors)
-they don't take advantage of the web2.0 share/rate/collaborate movement

I work in the media industry and practices like this, now, two years into web2.0 and ten into web1.0, seem as old fashioned as the telegraph. (whatever that was). If they wanted to, publishers could make a fortune simply from royalties by setting up proper websites that connect people in the industry and popularise their products with a world wide audience they get for free. The world has changed, but in their storyline it's 1975.

smsarber said:

Is it proper to do that, or might it be a tad confusing?

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Sure, it's proper. Have you ever read a Russian novel?

What do your beta readers say?

bsolah said:

This is a personal pet peeve of mine, especially freaking sports stars who just pay ghost writers to write their book ...One day I'm gonna scream at her, "Get a real writer!"

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If you play your cards right you can be that writer.

Sure, but first I'd need to not scream at her, and then actually finish some sort of manuscript that would then have to be published.

HConn said:

Uncle Jim, may I direct your attention to this article, not just for the back and forth about divisions being dropped, but for the comment section as well?

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Oh, dear. The comment section. I got about four comments into it. What a bunch of maroons.

Apparently, low salaries and celebrities who get big advances are to blame for publishing's troubles (along with TV and texting), not mention their unwillingness to "take a chance on new writers who come up with fresh and original material."

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Those complaints have been around for years. Decades.

Listen, O my children: Finding publishable works is painstaking hand-work by people who are, themselves, artists. That is why acquisitions won't be automated. That is why it is slow and has a high random-factor. And that is why upper management that says "Why don't you only buy best sellers?" doesn't get it.

Publishing is counterintuitive.

James D. Macdonald said:

Sure, it's proper. Have you ever read a Russian novel?

What do your beta readers say?

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Well, I am only four pages in on it (the re-write), so I haven't had a beta read it yet.
And, I don't think I've read a Russian novel. I read one while I was in prison, something about an attempt to assassinate Hitler, it had "Eagle" in the title, but for the life of me I can't remember more than that. There was a movie made out of it, I believe it had Lee Marvin in it. Regardless, I think it was British. But a lot of it took place in Russia, that's probably why it comes to mind.

In Russian novels, everyone has several names, and which name is used by whom is determined by the exact relationship between the two characters.

May I recommend The Karamazov Brothers?

I'll put it on my library list.

And on a further note, I figured it was acceptable, but I've put so much time in on this, I've been learning to write while working on it, I just want to make sure. The person who read my first draft had good things to say, except for the things that would be expected from a green writer; show, don't tell, try to stay away from passive voice, etc... but the name issue was never addressed so I thought I would get your opinion. Thank you.

Anna Karenina drove me nuts. Tolstoy seems unable to call Stepan Arkadyevitch anything but Stepan Arkadyevitch. He never just calls him Stepan, Step or Steppy. It's always Stepan Arkadyevitch.

James D. Macdonald said:

If you play your cards right you can be that writer.

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Here's a success story for you.

She wrote the novel during this year's NaNo, and revised it on a long plane ride. And four days after NaNo is finished, she has a request to see the ms. Sure it's a long way from being published still, but considering she only wrote it last month and already publishing folks are nibbling at the bait, my guess is that it's only a matter of time before it's published.

Yes, YOU can be that writer.

But you have to write first.

bsolah said:

Almost every second Friday I walk past this bookstore in the city and the manager is outside calling people in to come to a book signing of some famous sports star. One day I'm gonna scream at her, "Get a real writer!"

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I want to do a book signing at her store. Most managers just stick you in a corner and hope people find you. OR they announce your reading to the people in the store and move on.

A manager that is involved enough to go outside and grab people is someone I would respect.

allenparker said:

I want to do a book signing at her store. Most managers just stick you in a corner and hope people find you. OR they announce your reading to the people in the store and move on.

A manager that is involved enough to go outside and grab people is someone I would respect.

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No s#it! You don't see that kind of passion and commitment anymore.

allenparker said:

I want to do a book signing at her store. Most managers just stick you in a corner and hope people find you. OR they announce your reading to the people in the store and move on.

A manager that is involved enough to go outside and grab people is someone I would respect.

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But she only does it for the sport celebrities. The one occasion I've seen someone other than a sports star doing a book signing there, she was no where to be seen.

bsolah said:

But she only does it for the sport celebrities. The one occasion I've seen someone other than a sports star doing a book signing there, she was no where to be seen.

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But vee have vays of making her promote!
(And maybe that was some poor PA sap.)

From a book...

smsarber said:

Uncle Jim, I have a question. One of the lead characters in "A Birthday Suicide" is named Willis Jefferson. Throughout the first draft I alternately use three different names for him: Willis, Jefferson, and The Big Man. Is it proper to do that, or might it be a tad confusing?

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Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, by Renni Browne and Dave King, says (p 91):

"Decide how you are going to refer to a character and stick with it for at least the length of the scene. Don't use 'Hubert said' on one page, 'Mr Winchester said', on the next, and 'the old man said' on the third. If you do, your readers will have to stop reading long enough to figure out that the old man is Hubert Winchester. Also, most people don't change the way they think of someone they're talking to in mid-conversation, so neither should your viewpoint character."

euclid said:

"Decide how you are going to refer to a character and stick with it for at least the length of the scene."

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Yes but...

That's how the author refers to the character. The other characters may use several names for the same character in the same scene.

You remember when I recommended The Karamazov Brothers?

One of the brothers is Alexi Fyodorovich Karamazov, but the other characters refer to him (depending on the situation and their relationship to him) variously as Alexi, Alyosha, Alyoshka, Alyoshenka, Alyoshechka, Alexeichik, Lyosha, and Lyoshenka.

James D. Macdonald said:

Michael Traynor, horn-dog med student, entered the classroom a solid twenty minutes late.

"How good of you to join us, Mr. Traynor," Professor Noarth said, as Michael made his way to his seat.

"Yo, Mike," Steve whispered. "You totally missed a pop quiz."

"It was worth it," Michael whispered back. "Mrs. Perth and her daughter, at the same time!"

"Some people have all the luck," said Arthur, from his seat to Steve's left. "If Long Schlong manages to graduate they're going to give him an honorary degree in gynecology."

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Now I really want to read this novel, or at least Uncle Jim's version of it.

(When does it come out on shelves? )

James D. Macdonald said:

One of the brothers is Alexi Fyodorovich Karamazov, but the other characters refer to him (depending on the situation and their relationship to him) variously as Alexi, Alyosha, Alyoshka, Alyoshenka, Alyoshechka, Alexeichik, Lyosha, and Lyoshenka.

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Bl**dy h*ll!

James D. Macdonald said:

One of the brothers is Alexi Fyodorovich Karamazov, but the other characters refer to him (depending on the situation and their relationship to him) variously as Alexi, Alyosha, Alyoshka, Alyoshenka, Alyoshechka, Alexeichik, Lyosha, and Lyoshenka.

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"Now, you can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me RayJay, or you can call me R.J., or you can call me Junior, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny . . . but ya doesn't has ta call me Johnson!"

-- Mayor Raymond J. Johnson, Jr., of the Ace Trucking Company

caw