Good morning, fellow writers,
As I said in my last post I had paid for an editorial assessment through a UK company (Writer's Workshop) of my recently completed first novel. The report has finally been returned. I thought I would share a few salient points with you. Mainy because I think some of the points are useful for new writers generally. Can I add that my book, By the Rising of the Moon, was written and sent off before I found this glorious thread so it does reiterate much of Uncle Jim's words of wisdom.
1) Seriously overworked - too many words describing the same thing makes it weak (put a gun to the head of each word and make it justify its existence - if I remember rightly from a previous quote of Uncle Jim's)
'He took an involuntary sharp intake of breath’ or 'He gasped'. The first has lots of words which does not convey a sudden, startled action. The second might not be the best replacement but it does convey more sense of action than the first.
Another example of my over worked writing with a plethora of redundant words: 'a sharp pointed pain began to stab his right temple, its rhythm regular and insistent'.
2) Think very, very carefully about using flashbacks - the editor was 'terminally confused' during a complex flashback scene. As she points out, if it she was a reader she would have no doubt stopped reading. And possbily thrown the book across the room in frustration.
3) If you are using one POV make sure the reader cares about what happens to them. This will keep them turning the page. Ensure they are well rounded. We need to know what makes them tick. Just telling the story throught their eyes is not enough.
4) If using one POV try using psychic distance to give a framework. Otherwise it can seem that the POV is using text book language when giving information about events. (my story is based on true events and it is necessary for the story that certain details are made clear).
5) Don't have too many characters. Get rid of those you don't need. Merge them if necessary.
6) Ensure there is texture of the character's every day life. (hair, clothes, transport, food, drink, etc). My novel is historical fiction so the point is to ensure the reader feels they are in that period. Another issue for me is social conventions of the time (Using surnames instead of first names, raising one's hat to women etc)
7) Read it aloud. Then errors in word usage, punctuation etc will become clearer. (Another tip from Uncle Jim I believe). To quote from my editor:
'the brain processes words for reading aloud in a different place from where it deals with words you’re reading silently, and it’s amazing what you find. It works best, I find, if you don’t stop to fiddle, just make a quick mark in the margin about what kind of trouble you’ve spotted, and keep going. That way you reproduce as nearly as possible the experience of a reader coming to the novel for the first time.'
8) Punctuation. Use it conventionally. Use it carefully. Check every comma, full stop, capital letter etc. A publisher wants to see a well polished novel. It shows the writer cares about what they have written. Don't assume you are using it correctly. Find a Grammar Beta reader (school teachers are notoriously good at this). An example of one of my sins is to connect two sentences with a comma.
9) Use words as they should be used. For example I tend to use 'may' when the word should be 'might'. 'Expectedly' should be 'expectantly.'
That's the gist of it. I have recovered from sobbing in a corner after receiving the report about my precious, tortuous, 100 000 words. Now I will take another of Uncle Jim's top tips and starting writing it again from the very beginning......
Excuse me, I need to go and BIC.....