Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

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pictopedia

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oh, ok, sorry about that. Didn't mean to intrude on your story. These rules I found are just a guideline to avoid common mistakes. I guess sort of like the salt in cooking. The dish itself should be original in some way of course.
 

Calliopenjo

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Hi

You weren't intruding you were voicing your opinion. I thank you for that. I have you know it's because of you that I have an alternative ending in mind. I just have to think of a way of writing it. By the way, available for a critique? You seem to understand my story, at least the basis.
 

pictopedia

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calliopenjo, oh, thats great, you are getting closer to your solution. Fantastic.
Sure, I am always available ;) No, seriously. You need a beta reader? I can do that.

Why are there only nine and sixty ways to make a tribal lay and not nine and seventy and five?
 

batgirl

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"There are nine and sixty ways of constructing tribal lays,
"And every single one of them is right!"
I was listening to a panel discussion at an sf convention once (VCon 12?), and the panelists recited those lines in unison. My recollection is that they were Samuel Delaney, Judith Merril, Mildred Downey Broxon and possibly Theodore Sturgeon. It was pretty cool.
-Barbara
 

Ophelia

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Good morning, fellow writers,

As I said in my last post I had paid for an editorial assessment through a UK company (Writer's Workshop) of my recently completed first novel. The report has finally been returned. I thought I would share a few salient points with you. Mainy because I think some of the points are useful for new writers generally. Can I add that my book, By the Rising of the Moon, was written and sent off before I found this glorious thread so it does reiterate much of Uncle Jim's words of wisdom.

1) Seriously overworked - too many words describing the same thing makes it weak (put a gun to the head of each word and make it justify its existence - if I remember rightly from a previous quote of Uncle Jim's)

'He took an involuntary sharp intake of breath’ or 'He gasped'. The first has lots of words which does not convey a sudden, startled action. The second might not be the best replacement but it does convey more sense of action than the first.

Another example of my over worked writing with a plethora of redundant words: 'a sharp pointed pain began to stab his right temple, its rhythm regular and insistent'.

2) Think very, very carefully about using flashbacks - the editor was 'terminally confused' during a complex flashback scene. As she points out, if it she was a reader she would have no doubt stopped reading. And possbily thrown the book across the room in frustration.

3) If you are using one POV make sure the reader cares about what happens to them. This will keep them turning the page. Ensure they are well rounded. We need to know what makes them tick. Just telling the story throught their eyes is not enough.

4) If using one POV try using psychic distance to give a framework. Otherwise it can seem that the POV is using text book language when giving information about events. (my story is based on true events and it is necessary for the story that certain details are made clear).

5) Don't have too many characters. Get rid of those you don't need. Merge them if necessary.

6) Ensure there is texture of the character's every day life. (hair, clothes, transport, food, drink, etc). My novel is historical fiction so the point is to ensure the reader feels they are in that period. Another issue for me is social conventions of the time (Using surnames instead of first names, raising one's hat to women etc)

7) Read it aloud. Then errors in word usage, punctuation etc will become clearer. (Another tip from Uncle Jim I believe). To quote from my editor:

'the brain processes words for reading aloud in a different place from where it deals with words you’re reading silently, and it’s amazing what you find. It works best, I find, if you don’t stop to fiddle, just make a quick mark in the margin about what kind of trouble you’ve spotted, and keep going. That way you reproduce as nearly as possible the experience of a reader coming to the novel for the first time.'

8) Punctuation. Use it conventionally. Use it carefully. Check every comma, full stop, capital letter etc. A publisher wants to see a well polished novel. It shows the writer cares about what they have written. Don't assume you are using it correctly. Find a Grammar Beta reader (school teachers are notoriously good at this). An example of one of my sins is to connect two sentences with a comma.

9) Use words as they should be used. For example I tend to use 'may' when the word should be 'might'. 'Expectedly' should be 'expectantly.'

That's the gist of it. I have recovered from sobbing in a corner after receiving the report about my precious, tortuous, 100 000 words. Now I will take another of Uncle Jim's top tips and starting writing it again from the very beginning......

Excuse me, I need to go and BIC.....
 

pictopedia

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smsarber, your picture keeps changing. Where's the fish?
 

smsarber

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smsarber, your picture keeps changing. Where's the fish?
The jelly went on to that great big ocean in the sky. I get bored sometimes, so I change my sig and avatar. My wife pokes fun because I change my desktop background 1-2 times a week. Last week was outer space, then Jennifer Aniston; now Rachel Leigh Cook. Looking for ways to keep myself "un-bored" keeps me writing. Being 32 and on full disability means I have too f*****g much time at home. Cabin fever is real, folks... beware!! But hey, glad you noticed. Besides, this one is a very good pic. It shows my haughty-yet-humble side!!:tongue
 
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pictopedia

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I think we all have something like that inside our heads. Enormous rooms, rooms after rooms, full with interesting stuff and cool apparatuses. Just go there more often when you get the cabin fever ;) (I only regret about my bunker that nobody can come to visit)

Oh, and give me some of that extra time you got. I need to finish that novel of mine ;)
 

Yeshanu

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Ophelia, it does sound like you got a decent critique for your money. And good for you for taking it seriously and doing something about it. You'd be surprised how many people ask for critiques when they're looking for praise. Go you!
 

smsarber

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Praise! Praise! Praise! Oh, wait... that doesn't help me. But I have been guilty of looking for praise. It starts out as the hope that someone will say, "Wow! That was awesome!" But then turns into, "By God, they better like this, I've poured my heart into these words, paragraphs, pages." But I'm getting better about critiques.
 

pictopedia

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Ok, let it out Mr Sarber. Enough of the hinting. Coma? Full disability? What happened to you?
 

Yeshanu

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Praise! Praise! Praise! Oh, wait... that doesn't help me. But I have been guilty of looking for praise. It starts out as the hope that someone will say, "Wow! That was awesome!" But then turns into, "By God, they better like this, I've poured my heart into these words, paragraphs, pages." But I'm getting better about critiques.

We're all praise junkies in some way or another. That's why it actually helps someone hear you if you start off a critique with a positive point or two. After all, specific praise is just as useful as specific criticism. However, when our need for praise blots out our ability to hear valid criticism, we'll stop improving. At that point, we're dead as artists.
 

smsarber

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I have a theory that when I first began posting on AW I was so needy for validation that I almost completely alienated myself from anyone ever critting my work. In the beginning I had only been writing for about nine months. I had just woke up from the PA nightmare, and was still feeling pain from that. Toss in how many bridges I had burnt with my alcoholism, and how I felt in my attempts to rebuild trust with family and friends and you have one very volitile attitude. But I am glad nobody cut me any slack here. I am growing as a writer, and I couldn't have done that otherwise.
Somebody once said I couldn't use writing as a way to stay sober. But it works. It is not my only support program, but it gives me the sense of accomplishment I need. Even when I write something that is total and complete crap I feel good. "Hey, look at what I created!" I had always been interested in writing, even while I drank. The problem for me was that when I drank I had no patience. If I wrote a story it had no depth whatsoever. A story that needed to be 2000 words long would end up 300. "I just don't feel like giving my time to it. It ruins my buzz." I thank God for the people here.
 
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