Are your characters likable? Do they have things that they want?
Well, I think they're likable, though that's not always true (the main character in the book I'm working on the 5th draft of starts off as a really cold fish who's not really likable right away (exactly the way I intended him). I almost never give the characters everything they want and always try to have them motivated to perform some action even if they don't realize what that motive truly is.
And ... are there little bits of stage business that they can do to reveal what they're thinking and how they're feeling?
Yes, I think. I try to have them actually doing something when they're talking, for example, so it's not just straight dialogue. They fidget, play with a coffee cup, sick their hands in their pockets, run their fingers through their hair, etc. In the book, at one point, I have the character privately expose some of his frustration by shoving a stack of books and papers off a lab bench (realizing what he's done he then proceeds to pick everything back up off the floor). This was done in private, however, after a particularly intense scene in which a friend of his has been severely injured. He doesn't explode until his friend has awakened in the hospital, but he holds himself partly responsible (even though it clearly wasn't his fault at all and the event was unforseeable). The characters, no matter how minor, are almost always doing something that would work out to little bits of stage play.
Did the editor who shall not be named mention any favorite books where the characters had particular emotional appeal?
Unfortunately, no. He referenced a story he was particularly proud of which, to me, consisted of basically the same type of story he tried to demonstrate line level editing to me with (fantasy tale, female characters, lots of emotional "tear jerking", but not much plot or action that I could see).
We have, BTW, agreed to agree to disagree, but he still takes shots at me every chance he gets (I'm not sure if I should be annoyed or amused by by the fact he seems to take pains to take those shots - in one sense I really am amused and I hope he's doing this because he truly does see some kind of promise in my writing).
My disagreement with this editor isn't, to my mind, as serious as I might make it sound. I certainly don't dwell on it though it is one of those niggling little things that everyone's got in the backs of their minds. He pointed out what he saw as a fault in my writing and I'm sure that's an area where I could improve.
BTW, I'm sure you've gone over this in this thread before. If you could just point me to the index (I forgot how to find it) or to the post # I won't trouble you any more with my annoying little worries.