Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

HConn said:

Maybe I should switch to longhand.

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I did this recently and found times to write that I would never have thought I could write during. My hand hurt during the first week or so. Writing in a notebook is definitely worth the effort.

I was writing a lot at my temp job this summer too (I told my boss point-blank I was doing it... she thought it was cool. Ah, the joys of reception). I've come to the conclusion that a $30 thumb-drive is an extremely worthwhile investment. I keep my WIP on one, and I never have to worry about not having it with me to work on. Home, work, (class), library... anywhere I've got access to a computer, internet-enabled or no. Very useful.

LeeFlower said:

...a $30 thumb-drive is an extremely worthwhile investment....

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Agreed. I have one on my keychain. But bear in mind, they are not 100% safe. Very safe, yes, but not completely safe.

Even with a good backup, human fallacy can always be an issue—I lost a chapter one time when I ran my backup macro and accidentally copied an old version from my hard drive to the new version I had edited on the thumb-drive. Make sure you know what you're copying to.

-Nick

Just bumping this thread back up for easy reference. Can't believe it dropped down to page 4 of the archives. It needs to be on top.

We need something meatier than that. When we bump threads, we need to say something.

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Master: Writing is like a turtle crawling in the sand.

Student: Master, how is writing like a turtle crawling in the sand?

Master: You are correct. Writing is not like a turtle crawling in the sand.


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Y'know how people always tell you to "write what you know"? Well, how do you know what you know? How do you know what you don't know?

I have some thoughts on that (and not merely because I'm a know-it-all). What folks are really trying to say with that is:

All stories are about people. You are a person; know yourself. Write about people, do it in a way that explains personhood with insight, wit, and psychological truth, and it doesn't matter what else you do or don't do.

This is hard. Perfect self-knowledge is difficult. Perfect knowledge of strangers is harder still. Communicating that perfect knowledge is hardest of all. That's why we have to bolster our creations with research into the real world (if that's where our story is set).

Do you know why Swift's book is still in print even though there aren't any tiny little people, or giants, or talking horses, or flying cities? That's because he had near-perfect self-knowledge and was able to transmit it. (And gave us Lilliputian, Brobdingnagian, and yahoos at the same time.)

Is it time to play another game? Yes!

Okay, here's what we're going to do. As we all know, Plan Nine From Outer Space was to create an army of zombies to take over the earth.

Today's challenge is to come up with Plans One Through Eight.

I'll go first:

Plan One From Outer Space
Space aliens, determined to take over the earth, disguise themselves as charcoal briquettes and hide themselves in suburban basements and garages all over America. The day is set: They plan to strike on September 2nd!

Who's up for Plan Two?

Ah, yes, my schemes of world domination are finally coming to pass.

Plan Two From Outer Space
Space aliens, determined to on global domination, run multiple successful simulations based on Risk. However, their plans are currently in haitus as they try to figure out how sets of loaded dice can be used against atomic weapons.

-Nick

Plan three-
Using telepathic communications, aliens establish contact with all species of earth rodents, including mice, rats, squrriels, the IRS, etc... The rodents, on telepathic cue, infiltrate sensitive areas within major metro police and fire departments, NASA, military and intelligence installations, medical facilities and major communications networks. Once in place, the rodents gnaw through all console wiring including fiber optics and modem drivers for satellites systems, rendering both hard and soft communications systems useless.

Then, with the world's largest cities reduced to isolated islands of confused humanity, the invasion begins with a point by point systematic takeover of the entire planet.

Heaven help us!

Nexusman said:

Ah, yes, my schemes of world domination are finally coming to pass.

Plan Two From Outer Space
Space aliens, determined to on global domination, run multiple successful simulations based on Risk. However, their plans are currently in haitus as they try to figure out how sets of loaded dice can be used against atomic weapons.

-Nick

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Or, having determined that they stand a 95% probability of successful domination provided they first take over Australia and expand forward from there, they realize the futility of said plan once they ascertain that there is really no land bridge from Australia.

Plan Four

The aliens genetically reengineer the world's cotton crops, introducing nano-somethings into the fibers. Within a few years, all underwear, and a considerable amount of outerwear, is made of Franken-cotton.

The aliens have only to press a button, and all of humanity -- at least those who are wearing cotton underwear -- become their willing slaves.

[When you have them by the %@!!s, their hearts and minds will follow.]

Flaw in scheme -- most female underwear is not cotton-based; the females of Planet Earth usurp the alien's controls and women's plan for Intergalactic Domination (and the Timely Removal of Refuse from the Kitchen Coupled with the Un-nagged Descent of Toilet Seats) is finally realized.

Plan Five from Outer Space

Aliens decide that the real seat of power on Earth is with housewives. Their plan is to capture human women and replace them with wooden-acting fem-zombies that somehow disintegrate in a horrible fashion when they are killed. Despite the horrible, horrible dialog, the menfolk don't catch on, except for Duke Manmuscle, who single-handedly saves the Earth.

Plan Six from Outer Space:

Disguised as Television Executives, aliens intent on taking over the Earth start something called "Reality TV."

Nangleator said:

...Duke Manmuscle...

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Oh, yeah... This teenager is played by a 46-year-old Doug McClure.

Plan Seven from Outer Space:

Aliens infiltrate America's Homeland Security and create color-coded alerts to cause confusion. Plan fails when aliens decide to just blend in, discovering they fit in more with this agency than on home planet.

Challenges

James D. Macdonald said:

Is it time to play another game? Yes!
[snip]
Today's challenge is to come up with Plans One Through Eight.

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New here. Hello!

Are entries scored? Or is this one of those games where everyone's a winner just for playing? Are these going to be turned into writing prompts with assignments due at the end of the semester?

Is it protocol to provide rep points for plans we like?

Theo Neel said:

New here. Hello!

Are entries scored?

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Hello Theo.
I doubt there will be any scoring

Just play. I'm sure there will be some teaching involved.

I have an idea of where this may be heading. It is learn writing, so I'm sure there is something to be learned. I could be wrong, too.


Rather than speculate,I'll wait.

Plan eight- Reworked 'cause I'm dumb.

Aliens develop a tasty but deadly formula that they will skillfully market to stores on earth to poison the population.

Plan Nine - Due to the failure of Plans one through Eight, decide to wrap the stupid planet up in cling film, then orbit for a month.

Great job, everyone:

Now the next task. Those who are playing:

Write the first hundred words of the story of your Plan From Outer Space, and the last line of your story.

Again, I'll go first:


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Last line:

Homework

Wouldn't've posted if I'd known there'd be homework...

Question -- Are we writing the first hundred words of a short story or a novel?

Theo Neel said:

Question -- Are we writing the first hundred words of a short story or a novel?

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I think that mine was a short-story length idea, but if you see a novel, go for a novel.

(And being a writer means you have homework every day for the rest of your life.)

James D. Macdonald said:

Y'know how people always tell you to "write what you know"? Well, how do you know what you know? How do you know what you don't know?

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And this sometimes becomes into conflict with "write what you like".

What I know isn't necessarily what I write. I know a lot of how the mind works (and I'm going to study psychology so I'll know more), and I know a lot about relationships (only been through one, but have witnessed in an almost documentary level many others), so I'm most fit to write romance.

The problem is, I like to write epic fantasy. I don't really like reading romance, although my last two WIPs have been romance (comes more naturally to me so it's a better learning experience), but I'm not sure if I want to be known as a romance author.

Writing

James D. Macdonald said:

I think that mine was a short-story length idea, but if you see a novel, go for a novel.

(And being a writer means you have homework every day for the rest of your life.)

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No worries. I write every day, for hours. Love writing. No problem with BIC here. Just prefer to waste the aging brain matter on one of my novels. But I'm almost done with the homework anyway.

That'll teach me to be silly. Now I gotta write a good opening to a joke concept? Okay.

[FONT=&quot]Plan 5 from Outer Space[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The glow from around the corner was occluded. A diffuse shadow wriggled within the feeble light on the desert floor, and I tucked myself against a boulder. Something was walking directly toward or away from the source of the light.

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]Away from it. It was a woman, and someone I should have recognized immediately. Deception was a small town, and I knew everyone in it, from their faces to their walks to even their body language. It was Marcia, Frank's wife, but only like a perfect sculpture done in flesh. It was lifeless, though in motion.

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]It was easy staying quiet.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]#[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Last line:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"That's for pretending to be my Suzie," I said, and watched the flesh curdle, her face melt, and the gun drop on the floor.[/FONT]