The "Sarcasm" Thread

Rolling Thunder

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I understand twice as much as you ought to, half of the time. But not on Tuesday.

Good. On Tuesdays my wit suit is usually at the dry cleaner so I don't have to worry about drowning during your high tides of intellectual meanderings during the rest of the week. Of course, I've never seen a puddle reach high tide...
 

poetinahat

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Obviously, rob, these ladies are suede by your charm....
 

CaroGirl

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What happened to the sarcasm, man? Whatever. I see you guys really know how to follow rules.
 

robeiae

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I apologize profusely and will endeavor to be more sarcastic, in accordance with your wishes...for the last thing I would want to do is cause you any sort of grief. Really.















(How was that?)
 

CaroGirl

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I apologize profusely and will endeavor to be more sarcastic, in accordance with your wishes...for the last thing I would want to do is cause you any sort of grief. Really.

(How was that?)
Oh, yeah, that was so much better. really.
 

poetinahat

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Gee, it's good to know that people didn't miss the sarcasm while appreciating our ever-so-fine punnery....
 

poetinahat

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I see you've got things under control here, Rob, so I've Bard myself from posting in this thread anymore.
 

seun

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Ever notice the people who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humour are the people who can't do it properly?
 

Pagey's_Girl

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At a previous job:

Manager (running into my office, such as it was, in a panic): "Quick, I need one of those easel things, two of those flip chart things, a bunch of those real big sticky notes in all different colors, markers in every color you have and oh yeah, get coffee and all that crap from the cafeteria!"

Me: "Okay, when do you need this stuff?" (None of which was normally kept on hand except the markers, mind you.)

Him: "For my meeting in five minutes!"

Me (thinking): "Gee, nothing like planning ahead, is there? Especially not here..."

~*~

Moronic former co-worker, on IM: "R U THERE?!!!?!!!!111 R U There!!!!!111?/// 911!!!!1111 911!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 R U Ther????!!!!!????!!!??!111"
Me: "No."

Or this lovely exchange:

Dazed & Confused Staff Person: "That meeting for today, you gotta fix igt! You put it on the seventeenth!"

Me: "Huh?"

D&CSP: "It's ont he seventeenth! You gotta fix it! You gotta call everyone and tell them it's today! It's gotta be TODAY!"

Me: "Uh, Rich? Today is the seventeenth."

Him: "No, no, it's the sixteenth! You gotta fix it!"

Me: "Rich, today is the seventeenth. Trust me on that." (It was my birthday, I should have known what day it was!)

Him (slightly indignant): "Are you trying to tell me I don't know what day it is?"

Me: "With all due respect, yes."