The "I'm sorry" thread

Nymtoc

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...it tasted better than the rat I fricasseed for your birthday last year, didn't it?

I'm sorry I drove your Chevy to the levee and straight into the river, but...
 

Slushie

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at least my American Pie didn't get wet.

I'm sorry I made your cat wear a hat but...
 

Woof

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...but after that hideous bouffant hairstyle you gave him, his head needed concealment.

I'm sorry that I kept your nose to the grindstone and sanded it down to a stump, but...
 

AlishaS

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it was the only way I could get you to write anything half decent and worth reading

I'm sorry that I stole your I slept with your wife and knocked her up but...
 

Nymtoc

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...I've been saying for years that you'd be healthier on a diet of yogurt and cucumbers.

I'm sorry I told the media you had just given birth to a giraffe, but...
 

Woof

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...but try as I have, I can't break him of the habit of eating excrement.

I'm sorry that when we had our first kiss, I belched in your face, but...
 

flyingtart

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it still smelt sweeter than your breath.


I'm sorry I mistook you for a deformed dwarf but...
 

rosebud1981

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...but I'm sure a catch like you won't be single for long!

I'm sorry I trained my dog to poop in your garden, but...
 

Matera the Mad

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but your snoring so inspired me, I just had to do something as a tribute.

I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that you didn't understand that my request for a 600,000-word essay on the superiority of medium-sized paperclips was only a joke, but...
 

Slushie

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at least your typing skills improved.

I'm sorry I burned your copy of Fahrenheit 451, but...
 

flyingtart

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think of the money you saved!


I'm sorry your manuscript was accidentally shredded but...
 

rosebud1981

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... but it would have been rejected anyway, so this way you can get started on your next project sooner.

I'm sorry you believed me when I told you that you were my imaginary friend, but...
 

flyingtart

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it's cheaper than buying them.


I'm sorry I can't understand what you're on about but...
 

shakeysix

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as usual your words are full of sound and fury but signifying nothing. maybe because you're an idiot.


i'm sorry that i used my feminine wiles to persuade you to kill the king but...
 

Matera the Mad

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you'd be just as good-as-dead if he'd found out you were dallying with the queen. And this way, I have a little satisfaction. Lousy two-timer!

I'm sorry the flowers on your grave are all artificial, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...they say flowers on a grave should reflect the personality of the deceased.

I'm sorry I took an ax to your $200,000 Steinway grand, but...
 

flyingtart

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I am a music lover.


I'm sorry I fire-bombed your house but...
 

Woof

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...but that neo-gothic mock Tudor Romanesque bungalow with the moat and flying buttresses needed to be destroyed in the name of good taste.

I'm sorry that your birthday celebration was held at the drive-thru at McDonald's but...