The "I'm sorry" thread

Komnena

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
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but it was the favorite of Dejah Thoris herself.
I'm sorry I created a tornado in your neighborhood but
 

Komnena

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
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he is really the son of Secretariat.
I'm sorry I stole that shaggy bay mare from the paddock but
 

Lavern08

Sit Down, and Shut Up!
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I was all out of glue.


I'm sorry I pushed all of the buttons in the elevator, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...but I won a bundle on the bay.

I'm sorry I drove my monster truck into your living room when you were having a party, but...
 

Shay

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I'm sorry that I convinced your grandfather to join the viper militia but with a son like you, he needed someway to get away from you.

I'm sorry I won't tell you where I've been for the past year but...
 

Poetic_Justice

Pondering affirmation
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... but you really shouldn't have tried to reinact majors scenes from farenheit 451 so convincingly there...

I'm sorry that I threw your wedding band in the garbage disposal, but...
 

Woof

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...but the bitch does believe that size is everything.


I'm sorry that you wore bowling shoes on your wedding day, but...
 

flyingtart

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you always said he bowled you over.


I'm sorry I told everyone about your secret affair but ...
 

AuburnAssassin

Darkly Romantic Curmudgeon
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I'm sorry that you wore bowling shoes on your wedding day, but...I'm sure it was worth it for the bedpost split.

ETA: Argh! I'm always a second too late so answering flyingtart's:

I'm sorry I told everyone about your secret affair but ... since it was with me and nobody really cared all that much anyway I figured "what the hey! cause it lifted my stock several points."


I'm sorry I put saran wrap over your toilet but...
 
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flyingtart

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I needed a quick shower.


I'm sorry I told everyone about your secret affair but ...
 

Lavern08

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...The Enquirer made me an offer I couldn't refuse.



I'm sorry I asked if you were pregnant, but...
 

Woof

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...but I figured that asking a man if he were pregnant would stimulate conversation.

I'm sorry that on our first date, I picked you up in a cement mixer, but...
 

Lavern08

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...I forgot to bring my wallet.


I'm sorry my dog bit you, but...
 

shakeysix

blue eyed floozy
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he's been acting funny all day. i think he had cotton candy for lunch. what is that white stuff all over his chin?

i'm sorry that i shot my ex-wife and then put her body on her sailboat and sunk the boat but...
 

flyingtart

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I'm getting therapy.


I'm sorry I ate all the pies but...
 

Nymtoc

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...I've always dreamed of being a shepherd, and when I heard they were shepherd's pies I thought that maybe if I ate enough of them my dream would come true.

I'm sorry I put your dancing shoes through the wood chipper just before you were to appear on Dancing With the Stars, but...
 

Komnena

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
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now you can spend three hundred bucks on a new pair and stimulate the economy.
I'm sorry I caused the volcano to erupt but
 

Lavern08

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...who knew throwing in a bottle of Alka-Seltzer would make such a mess?

I'm sorry I forwarded that nasty email about your boss, but...