The "I'm sorry" thread

.....I'm also grateful.


Sorry I insulted your singing but....

wouldn't you rather hear it from a friend?

Sorry I ate the last dark chocolate cognac truffle, but

...you were face down on the floor and didn't seem to mind.

I'm sorry hell actually has wheels, but...

...solar-powered coffins might be able to circumnavigate the laws of hell.

I'm sorry I haven't had a bright idea in my entire life, but...

. . . you already knew this before you married me.

I'm sorry she didn't call, but . . .

breaking into her house at night to watch her sleep, is a little off.

I'm sorry I leaked the story, but...

you shouldn't borrow my car and then use it in a bank robbery.

I'm sorry you were caught cheating at the casino, but ...

...at least Gary the bouncer gave you his phone number.

I'm sorry you're afraid of heights, but...

. . . really, it's only a step stool. Come on.

I'm sorry you have poor balance, but . . .

...maybe a gallon of wine a day is excessive.

I'm sorry everything you do turns into a fiasco, but...

. . . life is never boring in your world.

I'm sorry my dog chewed on your glasses, but . . .

...at least they weren't on your face.

I'm sorry you smacked the waiter, but...

he was a bit out of line, sticking his hand in your pants pocket to find tip money.

I'm sorry you got food poisoning at the wedding, but . . .

...why were you dumpster diving?

I'm sorry I haven't shaved, but...

Uhm......I got a little rash down there.



I'm sorry you don't fit into those pants but...

...we are in the children's section, and you're freaking me out!

I'm sorry the aliens wouldn't take you with them, but...

...remember they said you were too important to Earth and they really needed you to stay behind and keep an eye on things. That's the only reason, okay buddy?

I'm sorry you spent all that money on scratch tickets but...

...let me come back to the real topic: You still owe me money.

I'm sorry to inform you that he is not a trustworthy person, but...

. . . the fact his own parents say they don't know him should have been your first clue.

I'm sorry you can't get the gum out of your hair, but . . .

...if you add a little more, you may create a new style.

I'm sorry you learned that your boyfriend is already married to three other women, but...

...knowing you, you will outwit all three of them.

I'm sorry you had to learn it the hard way, but...

. . . I did warn you that restaurant has a certain reputation.

I'm sorry you didn't see that stop sign, but . . .

It's hardly fair for the tree to lose a limb over it.


I'm sorry you forwent the insurance, but...

hey, nothing like livin' on the edge.

I'm sorry the judge didn't feel inclined to be lenient, but . . .

you shouldn't have tried to get away with lip-syncing at your American Idol audition.

I'm sorry your new car gets such bad mileage, but ...