The "I'm sorry" thread

I needed a place to stash them until police stop searching.

I'm sorry your phone chargers are all missing, but

that's what happens when you let gremlins come out and play...


I'm sorry your fish died, but...

maybe you should not have fed them arsenic.

I'm sorry your balloon took you to a strange new land but

...maybe people will find you more acceptable there.

I'm sorry you still wear 1970s clothes, but...

you do realize they are 4-sizes too small, don't you?


I'm sorry people stare at the wart on your nose, but

but it is hard not to look at a blinking red wart.

I'm sorry I let the gremlins go swimming but

...I promised them they could go if they mowed my lawn.

I'm sorry the mad scientist who owns the wax museum turned you into one of his sculptures, but...

now you can "wax" poetic to your heart's content.

Oops, I'm sorry I wished the cable company would replace one of the shopping channels a poetry channel.

Click to expand...

I'm sorry the cable company replaced all of your favorite shows with Three's Company reruns, but

at least you have one step above that with Netflix

I'm sorry that your mother married your bully's father, but

at least now you can run faster.


I'm sorry your cat ate your pet bird, who ate most of your worm collection, but

you needed to go on a diet anyway.

I'm sorry your dog exploded but

you shouldn't have fed it so many marshmallows.

I'm sorry you got caught stealing watermelon, but

At least now you have a good story to tell Bubba.


I'm sorry you missed the boat but...

but since it was the Titanic you're much better off.

I'm sorry I dumped the T Rex egg on you but

i never guessed it was petrified.

i'm sorry that i served you your pet canary for dinner but...

wasn't it tasty?

I'm sorry the critics called your book "300 pages of drivel" but

they weren't lying


I'm sorry that I poured the last cup of coffee, but

if you make a fresh pot I'll let you have it.

I'm sorry your desk was such a mess this morning, but ...

...they're clearing it for your successor, now that you've been fired.

I'm sorry I accidentally put your pet iguana in the microwave, but...

...he looked cold.

I'm sorry you tripped down the escalator in front of all those cute boys yesterday, but...

they all liked the view.

I'm sorry I bleached your favorite black skirt but

goth is so passé.


I'm sorry you didn't get to work on time, but

...I didn't intentionally splash that mud all over you when you were waiting at the crosswalk.

I'm sorry you are often mistaken for Frankenstein's monster, but...

that new scar on your over-sized forehead isn't helping.


I'm sorry that your computer crashed and you didn't have a backup of your WIP, but

(don't ask me how) I have a copy, it's excellent, and there's no way you can prove it's your work. When the book comes out I'll send you a copy.

I'm sorry you couldn't find your car keys this morning.