The "I'm sorry" thread

Woof

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This game should be easy for anybody who has every offered a lame excuse for not doing something they should have, such as being late, completing a task, doing something they shouldn't have.. etc. Here's an example:

"I'm sorry that I killed your dog, but...

...I hadn't eaten since breakfast and I was hungry."

Every person that posts must end their post with " I'm sorry that I etc. etc...but..."

The next person completes the excuse in their own creative way.

Here's the first post:

I'm sorry that I rear-ended your car, but...
 

davids

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I'm sorry that I rear-ended your car, but we are all out of sheep

I'm sorry that I broke your poetic heart, but...
 

Woof

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...my poetic heart was made of the finest Swedish lead crystal, and though your clumsiness has cost me a small fortune, it was inevitable.

I'm sorry that I violated your parrot, but...
 
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"I'm sorry that I violated your parrot but Lori wouldn't lend me any of her parakeets."

...
...
...

"I'm sorry for soiling myself on your living room carpet but..."
 

Woof

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..since you live in a barn where the floor is covered in cow patties, your behavior is perfectly natural.

I'm sorry that I was late for my fiancee's wedding, but...
 

davids

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I'm sorry that I was late for my finace's wedding, but I got a flat pyre

I'm sorry that I said you was a pizza pie, but...
 

Woof

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...I wasn't referring to your complexion, honest I wasn't! I was referring to your shape.

I'm sorry that I came to your party wearing grubby overalls, but...
 

Woof

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... I'm on a special diet that restricts me to eating nothing but pistachios and water, and if I don't eat enough of them, I become violent.

I'm sorry that I barfed all over the interior of your new BMW, but...
 

davids

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I'm sorry I rained on your parade, but the can is backed up

I'm sorry you have been caught hanging around in Pinky's gay bar, but...
 

Woof

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...you had to find someplace to do your Barbra Streisand impression!

I'm sorry that I botched up your heart transplant operation, but...
 

Woof

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...I donated all your money to a really good cause that helps needy dogs in Beverley Hills purchase their first condos.

I'm sorry that I broke the blades on the food processor that you loaned me, but...
 

Woof

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...you have a lovely personality...no wait! You also have a hideous personality.

I'm sorry to hear that your cat clawed your face and disfigured you, but...
 

Devil Ledbetter

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you martyr and shine.
I'm sorry that the cat clawed your face and disfigured you, but she mistook you for Paris Hilton.

I'm sorry Angelina Jolie ate your jewelry but ...
 

Woof

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...once she hacks it up, she'll return it to you.

I'm sorry that my lawnmover cut off your toes, but...
 

The Lady

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you were always a socks with sandals kind of guy anyway. Who's going to notice?

I'm sorry I lost all your copies of your manuscript but...
 

Devil Ledbetter

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you martyr and shine.
you were always a socks with sandals kind of guy anyway. Who's going to notice?

I'm sorry I lost all your copies of your manuscript but...
I'll send you the bill from my plumber.

I'm sorry I ate all the popcorn, but ...
 

Woof

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...to be honest, the telephone directory was a better read.

I'm sorry that I served you poison mushrooms by mistake, but...
 

Woof

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sorry (again)... late posting
 

MissAimee

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I ran out of salt.

I'm sorry that I went out with your butt grabbing boyfriend, but
 
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Silver King

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...I'm so grateful he didn't stop at just one squeeze, thank gawd.

I'm sorry I called you a low-life, scheming son-of-a-bitch, but...