Buy books by AWers

If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.


 

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Page 288 of 293 FirstFirst ... 38188213238263278282283284285286287288289290291292293 LastLast
Results 7,176 to 7,200 of 7305

Thread: The "I'm sorry" thread

  1. #7176
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,480
    it was the only copy because it's terrible, and now you don't have to read that drivel.

    I'm sorry you burned the roast but...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  2. #7177
    The unmighty and non-powerful One! armydillo978's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    3,660
    With enough gravy slathered on it, you won't notice the charcoally bits......as much.

    I'm sorry you were so sleepy you put your underwear over your pants this morning....but....

  3. #7178
    blue eyed floozy shakeysix's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    St. John, Kansas
    Posts
    10,103
    those neon blue sharkskin trousers should be hidden from view whenever possible.


    I'm sorry that the Buddy Holly look is back but

  4. #7179
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,480
    the '50s hairstyles provide yet another use for coconut oil.

    I'm sorry I left the book I borrowed from you out in the rain, but
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  5. #7180
    blue eyed floozy shakeysix's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    St. John, Kansas
    Posts
    10,103
    but it was "Rain" by Somerset Maugham so I figured the library would thank me for enhancing the cover art.

    I am sorry that you are being stalked by Miss Sadie Thompson but

  6. #7181
    figuring it all out CreativeHeart75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    74
    Ever since she lost her cat she has become a little unhinged.

    I'm sorry you haven't heard from me since Christmas but...

  7. #7182
    JoeBrat JoeBrat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    53
    I had this work thing I had to do.

    I'm sorry I put a dent in your back bumper but...

  8. #7183
    blue eyed floozy shakeysix's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    St. John, Kansas
    Posts
    10,103
    wait till you see what I did to your car!

    I'm sorry that your new neighbor was recently featured as Nightmare Next Door on the Investigation and Discovery Channel but ...

  9. #7184
    JoeBrat JoeBrat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    53
    At least you were on live TV.

    I'm sorry I didn't tell you your windows were down during last night's rain but...
    Last edited by JoeBrat; 04-21-2017 at 12:43 AM.

  10. #7185
    figuring it all out msuss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Boston area
    Posts
    64
    as I approached your door I was struck by lightning and my brain got so fried that I literary donut nohow to finesse this sent

    I'm sorry to hear that you've been reincarnated as an amoeba but...
    Crashing Eden (Solstice, 2012)

    Otto Grows Down (Sterling, 2009)

    A Curious Calling: Unconscious Motivations for Practicing Psychotherapy (Jason Aronson, 2007)

    http://MichaelSussmanBooks.com

  11. #7186
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Between the lines
    Posts
    37,251
    ...now you can get around to so many places, and nobody will even know you are there--unless you cause problems.

    I'm sorry I took the pedals off your bicycle, but...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  12. #7187
    blue eyed floozy shakeysix's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    St. John, Kansas
    Posts
    10,103
    But at least I left the training wheels.

    I'm sorry that I soft boiled your Easter eggs ...

  13. #7188
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,480
    but if you dip them in chocolate, maybe you can pass them off as Easter Creme Eggs.

    I'm sorry your aunt still thinks five dollars in your birthday card is a lot of money but
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  14. #7189
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Between the lines
    Posts
    37,251
    ...her favorite singers are the Brady Bunch Kids, so what can you expect?

    I'm sorry they refused to serve you at Starbucks, but...
    Last edited by Nymtoc; 04-22-2017 at 11:59 AM.


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  15. #7190
    The unmighty and non-powerful One! armydillo978's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    3,660
    but......it's frowned upon if you stand in line.....naked......for your coffee. Yeah, just don't do it.....again.

    I'm sorry that you have that boil on your nose....

  16. #7191
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,480
    but thank goodness all that heavy drinking has turned your nose into a large red blob anyway, so probably no one will notice.

    I'm sorry I taught your parrot to swear, but
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  17. #7192
    he'll make the Mormons that bother you really uncomfortable, so I figured you wouldn't mind.

    I'm sorry I spent grandma's social security check on cigarettes and bags of Reeses, but

  18. #7193
    The unmighty and non-powerful One! armydillo978's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    3,660
    but.....you had that addiction to tobacco and peanut butter that could only be cured by........hookers....or chugging gallons of goat's milk and eating tripe.

    I'm sorry that I pay so much for my cell phone and it still can't read my mind.

  19. #7194
    Banned for Trolling
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    63
    I'm sorry that I pay so much for my cell phone and it still can't read my mind, but I suppose that's just life, right?

    |
    |

    I'm sorry that I came home early, found you naked and slobbery, engaged in what could only be described as dog sex---sex in the style of a dog, as per the style of our dog, how it humps things from behind things, without eye contact---standing there, behind that woman, in my bed, performing dog-style sex with a strange woman I don't even know, both of you facing me as I walked into my own room with our dog---who, like me, was probably horrified by the dog-style sex you were performing---with the blinds open, and our neighbour probably even watching, and with dishes piled up in the sink that you said you'd take care of, including the carving knife I happened to bring upstairs, thinking the pounding might be an intruder, only to find her on all fours looking stupidly at our dog, looking stupidly up at me and the knife, her face wincing with regret and maybe shame and a little bit of fear, while you hump your last few humps with crossed, overly-protrudent eyeballs, upright behind her like a big stupid dog, but....
    Last edited by Creep; 04-23-2017 at 05:41 AM.

  20. #7195
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,480
    but if it absorbed your thoughts, it would never be able to function as a smart phone again.

    I'm sorry my installation art piece involved your dog but

    Oops -- two of us replied at once. I'll have another go.
    Last edited by Mary Mitchell; 04-23-2017 at 05:44 AM.
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  21. #7196
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,480
    at least there won't be a charge for porn tonight on my cable bill.

    I'm sorry my installation art piece involved your dog, but
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  22. #7197
    The unmighty and non-powerful One! armydillo978's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    3,660
    At least the dog I was humping was from the bar and not the pound....whew.....that was a close one.

    Gwarsh, and I'm sorry that Creep temporarily lost his eyesight during...."the viewing of the incident"

  23. #7198
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,480
    but his mother probably warned him not to do that or he'd go blind.

    I'm sorry I put bubble bath in the dishwasher but
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  24. #7199
    The unmighty and non-powerful One! armydillo978's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    3,660
    And the bubbles overflowed the seals and onto the floor....which made your floor cleaner (trust me, I've done this before).

    I'm sorry that I'm stuck in a rut.

  25. #7200
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Between the lines
    Posts
    37,251
    ...but it's your rut, so don't complain to the rest of us, because we have ruts of our own.

    I'm sorry I didn't compliment you on your singing, but...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

Page 288 of 293 FirstFirst ... 38188213238263278282283284285286287288289290291292293 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search