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Thread: FAQ: Flouncing Properly via a Brave Exit Speech Template

  1. #351
    υπείκωphobe Wilde_at_heart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christwriter View Post
    Ahem.

    *knuckle cracks*

    You TOTALLY missed the point of that passage. My MOTHER read that passage and loved it. My sister's cousin's nephew's wife's cousin's foster-child's birthmother's GRANDFATHER is a REAL PROFESSIONAL WRITER who had TWO ARTICLES published by an AP affiliate on their BLOG, and I studied every single word of what they wrote about pig intestinal paracites AND SO I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU. Who are you people, anyway? All you do is publish vampire fiction and sparkly Harry Potter ripoffs. I have FOURTEEN GOOD REVIEWS ON FANFICTION.NET. I HAVE STREET CRED. I TALKED TO MY LONG DISTANCE INTERNET BOYFRIEND AND HE TOLD ME TO IGNORE YOU.

    So I am. Totally. F*** you. F*** all of you. F*** you with a ******* sparkle vampire *****, you ***** **** and *******, eat my ******* jalapino ***** with a serving of glitter. I hope you all ***** ***** ****** and die.

    ****************8******88*****!!1!1!!!!one one one one ONE!!!1!

    I AM PUBLISHING MY NEW THREE THOUSAND PAGE BOOK OF GOTHIC ANTEATER POETRY WITH A REAL LIFE PUBLISHER. THEY SAID THEY WOULD GIVE ME A ONE DOLLAR ADVANCE AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING SO F*** YOU AND I HOPE YOU ALL DIE.

    I AM LEAVING TEH INTERNETS FOREVAR!!!!111on1! GOODBYE!
    *slow clap*

    Bravo. It's never serious until it's allcaps serious...

    Though personally I would have gone on more about the ignorance of every other poster on the board and berated them teenagers or frustrated housewives depending on the age of the flouncer .

  2. #352
    Moderator AW Moderator Sophia's Avatar
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    Going all out on breaking RYFW is a key part of what earns you the Oscar of flouncing. Break it hard, break it LOUD.

    References to the members: if female, they must be referred to as either frustrated housewives, brainless teenagers or "menopausing". Menopausing gets Big Points.

    Male members (snerk) are referred to as frustrated, jerks, know-it-alls, know-nothings, arrogant, teenagers, or out-of-touch.

    You can, of course, pick 'n' mix from the above to apply to any member.

    For optional crossing-the-line points, imply sexual inadequacy, lack of sexual knowledge, and deviancy. Paint a mental image of your target member sniffing the glue in the binding of their hardcover while posting one-handed. State that that hardcover is Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey or any Dan Brown novel for an extra tiresomeness point.

  3. #353
    blue eyed floozy shakeysix's Avatar
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    and don't forget the stress errors on the keys--ss

  4. #354
    Geekzilla BigWords's Avatar
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    Everyone knows flouncing is all about the exclamation marks.
    The blog, which may not be updated regularly enough. -- I'm linking to other AW blogs here. -- There's some nonsense here when I can be bothered.
    Don't hold your breath...

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  5. #355
    Resistance is Everything christwriter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockweaver View Post
    bows to the greatness that is Christwriter... bravo.. bravo... you deserve an gold star for that fine bit of temper tantrim demonstration. damn you must spend time chatting with my daughters
    I cut my e-teeth on Deviantart. The flouncing there defines epic.

  6. #356
    Twitching ap123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christwriter View Post

    with a serving of glitter.
    ^^This made the whole rant for me. I would bow, but my bones are a bit creaky today.
    Doing the backstroke in the beer moat.

    Try it, you might like it. Blogging life in the big city with Mrs Fringe.

  7. #357
    permaflounced
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    I want to flounce. I am actually looking for a way to delete my account here. Can someone point me in the right direction?

  8. #358
    Whose amusement exceeds all known standards of propriety AW Paladin
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    Quote Originally Posted by MMcDonald64 View Post
    I want to flounce. I am actually looking for a way to delete my account here. Can someone point me in the right direction?
    FAQ: How Do I Delete My Account

    We don't delete accounts. But I can help you find the door.
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  9. #359
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MMcDonald64 View Post
    I want to flounce. I am actually looking for a way to delete my account here. Can someone point me in the right direction?
    That actually turned out to be quite an effective flounce. Kudos!
    Quote Originally Posted by swachski View Post
    Thanks for all your hard work, Haggis! You are the best mod ever!

    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented



  10. #360
    An adorable kitten Elenielwen's Avatar
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    Talking Perfect! love it!

    Quote Originally Posted by SC Harrison View Post
    10. My Doctor Says AW is Bad For Me.

    Due to the extremely high stress of reading the selfish and hurtful posts on this forum, I have developed NEPS (Nervous Ear Pulling Syndrome). Although rarely fatal (one guy lost his balance free-climbing), it can be painful and debilitating, and the healing process is always interrupted by more ear pulling. I really want to stay and defend those who are being picked on, but I just can't take it anymore.
    Just wished to say after reading this I was smiling and laughing for minutes. It's perfect, simply perfect!

  11. #361
    New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin
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    Hmmmm

    Not something easily undone, but there is a sewing technique to make a flounce. It has nothing to do with getting in a snit and stomping out of a room. But... the process of creating a perfect flounce may cause one to seriously consider it.

  12. #362
    blue eyed floozy shakeysix's Avatar
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    I saw an interesting one the other day. --:"you people make Jesus cry!" the topic was politics! --s6
    Last edited by shakeysix; 03-15-2013 at 04:26 PM.

  13. #363
    Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred Chris P's Avatar
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    Can someone please forward me the issue of the newsletter where this week was declared "Convince Chris P He's a Lousy Writer Week"? All the agents, editors, and customers seem to have gotten theirs. Thanks all.
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  14. #364
    I was only joking! Honest! mirandashell's Avatar
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    My favourite is still 'This place is more hostile than Afghanistan!'
    I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum. Cos how you can be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?

  15. #365
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mirandashell View Post
    My favourite is still 'This place is more hostile than Afghanistan!'
    Obviously they must have spent too much time in the poetry forum.

  16. #366
    Twitching ap123's Avatar
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    Wondering what it says about me that I always smile when I see this thread pop up.

    I want to be a nice person.

    Really.

    I try.

    Sometimes.
    Doing the backstroke in the beer moat.

    Try it, you might like it. Blogging life in the big city with Mrs Fringe.

  17. #367
    Gaze upon my shih-tzu powers! Billtrumpet25's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Obviously they must have spent too much time in the poetry forum.
    *quickly runs over to the poetry forum with a bag of popcorn and waits patiently*.

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  18. #368
    Miss Conceived Liralen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mirandashell View Post
    My favourite is still 'This place is more hostile than Afghanistan!'
    Obviously they've never been on a dog forum.
    The creative writing process is a lot like emotional binge and purge cycles.

    Can you find the Pitbull?

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  19. #369
    dares to eat a peach SuperModerator poetinahat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mirandashell View Post
    My favourite is still 'This place is more hostile than Afghanistan!'
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Obviously they must have spent too much time in the poetry forum.
    Who can take an emo-o-o-o
    sprinkle it with angst
    (and if you find a rhyme for this
    you won't get any thangst)
    Afghanistan man
    Afghanistan man
    Afghanistan man, 'cause he knows you'll love his po'm
    and if you don't, you shoooould
    Verely wherefore thou dost be mine,
    That be Reasonne whye i walke yon Line
    -- Geoffrey Chaucer, "The Cashman's Tale"

    Not every poem requires a saw.
    - Ambrosia

  20. #370
    They've been very bad, Mr Flibble Mr Flibble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poetinahat View Post
    Who can take an emo-o-o-o
    sprinkle it with angst
    (and if you find a rhyme for this
    you won't get any thangst)
    Afghanistan man
    Afghanistan man
    Afghanistan man, 'cause he knows you'll love his po'm
    and if you don't, you shoooould
    I'm hearing this in a hippy/jazz sort of voice...




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  21. #371
    In search of my marbles ElaineA's Avatar
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    You should be hearing Sammy Davis, Jr Jr, man. He's the coolest cat around, man. He can rhyme Afghanistan with man, man and angst with thankst. The COOLEST.

    *waves cigarette around spewing ash all over the baby blue leisure suit before flouncing out of the thread*
    "Damn. Busted. *eyes naughty chair longingly*"

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  22. #372
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ambrosia View Post
    That high? I was thinking 2/10.
    I don't usually score flounces but I'm giving this a 9/10 and because it's an open-door flounce and we don't see enough of those. When I flounce it will be an open door flounce: that way I can come back in again later and everyone will just pretend they didn't notice.

    I hate slammed door flounces. I always think the person is standing just outside the door, feeling sad.


  23. #373
    Red fish, blue fish... J.S.F.'s Avatar
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    I have always thought of flouncing out as an art form. It takes talent, it takes caps, and it takes a lot of glitter to just let it all hang out before being shown the door.

    On another training forum I frequent, being banned is a sign of honor for some. Usually it's by posting a number of inappropriate .gifs, or goat porn--don't ask--or pictures of Winnie the Pooh.

    One moderator there banned a fairly well-respected poster for putting up a picture of Winnie with the caption "Have a blustery day" on it. I simply didn't get it, but the guy got banned for a month before being allowed back on the forum.

    Be blustery. Bluster, fluster, and flounce your way to immortality. I'll have to keep that as my motto if the day ever comes.

  24. #374
    Formerly Phantom of Krankor. AW Moderator Torgo's Avatar
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    I've been seeing some weak flounces recently. I am beginning to think the golden age of flouncing is over. I mean, 5/10 is the highest I've gone for years.

  25. #375
    blue eyed floozy shakeysix's Avatar
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    Yeah--I witnessed a disappointingly flat one just this week. I did enjoy the "Don't let the e-door slam you in the e-ass" speeches after the fact--s6

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