Visit to the Doctor

maddythemad said:

And please tell me the prostate exam joke! I'm oh-so bored here, and I'm sure others would be, er, delighted to hear it as well...

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Yes, please do.
I don't have one of those, so it would be a refreshing change from listening to gynecology jokes.

I better behave. Maddy is still young so we do have to behave a little sometimes . . . even though it hurts.

;-)

Hi Maddy (that's my sister's name too, so I'm partial to it ),

I had something similar happen to me when I was in high school and it was really disorienting. I definitely sympathize with the immediate panic, even when your brain knows there's got be a logical (and probably trivial) explanation. Plus, the way the doctor talked to me, it was like there was this immediate assumption that I was behaving in some terribly unsafe way--eating disorder, intravenous drug use--you know, one of those habits you pick up casually without noticing . She was so authoritative that I actually started trying to think whether I could have been doing something destructive, completely unawares.

It turned out not to be serious at all. The last time she'd weighed me was three weeks into soccer conditioning. I have a very slight build, and when I exercise hard, I put on muscle, but then it drops off again right away if I don't work to keep it. I'd lost almost nine pounds (and I'm really short), so she got very worried. I was pretty flustered trying to convince her that I didn't have an eating disorder, but eventually we figured it out. You never know, it may be some peripheral lifestyle thing like that--something you don't think about, but that makes perfect sense once you remember to take it into account.

Best wishes with your upcoming tests, and I hope you're feeling a little less anxious and scared this evening.

I do hope you're feeling better soon. We'll be here for you. Take care and do what they tell you to do.

Much love,

Terri

::sigh::

I haven't weighed 125 since I was born....

(And hang in there, Maddy. It'll be okay.) Hugs!

maddythemad said:

Thank you, guys! I've calmed down a bit now. I mean-- the doc is right, most likely it isn't anything serious. But I will go to the hospital and see, and then I can relax (hopefully.)

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Pay attention to what the nutritionist says (if you see one). At your age, you need a lot of calcium and protein, so hopefully you don't have any physical problems with dairy products. If you're cool with them, they can make a world of difference in bone strengthening and overall health.

Milk, cheese and eggs, baby. Good for Maddy.

not sure if someone mentioned this or not but:

a) the doctor should not have gone on and on like that. that was grossly unprofessional.

b) diabetics have significant weight loss as well

We'll be thinking about you today, Maddy. I hope everything goes well and I hope it all turns out to be nothing.

I got sent for tests for a brain tumor one time. That was a lot of fun (they stick you in big machines and glue wire to your head; no, I'm not kidding). They said they didn't find a tumor . . . or much of a brain either.

;-)

maddythemad said:

Oh that's horrible! You should have been like, "Are you pregnant? Because I think you're projecting onto me."

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Ahahahahaha! "Please, doctor, I don't think this relationship is appropriate. Take your ironically cylindrical instruments away from my face."

SC Harrison said:

Alright Maddy and Tsuki, I have a few questions:

Are you pregnant? You can tell me, I'm not a doctor. Are you sure? have you been tested? Throwing up in the morning? Watching Lifetime more than usual? Late for your period? Early? Exactly on time? Crying any? Not crying at all? Face breaking out? Sneaking back in? Are you hungry? Right now? Not right now? Did you eat right before you came here? Are you hungry yet? How about now?

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Well, I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant, but now that I think about it, maybe! I HAVE been hungry lately, doctor! Almost every day! And I'm terribly thirsty if I won't drink at least one glass of water a day. And I'm either crying, or not crying at all! Isn't that weird? And the periods come every month! Not to mention that I've gotten into this habit of sleeping....

maddythemad said:

OMG-- Me too! Tsuki-- we're expecting! Someone start us a baby shower thread and hurry!

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MADDY! WE'RE PREGNANT! I HATE KIDS! I'm gonna that bastard doctor! I told him not to poke at me with that thing!

maddythemad said:

Oh, you're such a spoilsport. I'm naming mine Herbert. I bet you have TWINS.

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Twins? But I could have sworn I heard at least 12 voices the other day....

...What do you mean the unborn don't talk? Shut up, maddy!

I'm just naming them by numbers. Unless I have a favorite. So my kids will be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Timmy, 7, 8, Jada, 10, 11, and Idiot.

Maddy, when I was in my mid-twenties, I started feeling really fatigued, and I couldn't figure out why. So I went to our local doctor.

He told me that I must be depressed, and that was causing my fatigue. Funny, but I was far from depressed at the time, just really tired. I was thinking, "Gee, maybe I'm depressed, and I just don't know it!."

He did run some bloodwork, and my liver enzymes came back elevated. I spoke to him on the phone, and he said, "You don't drink, do you?"

"No," I said. "Just a drink or two a couple times per year. Not enough even to count."

"C'mon, tell me, you're a closet drinker, aren't you?"

"Nope, I don't drink closets, either. Now, what are we going to do about my liver?"

Turns out that liver issues do run in both sides of my family. I have Gilbert's syndrome, which, whenever I lose weight, causes my body to build up excess amounts of bilirubin--turns my eyeballs yellow. Neat party trick, and mostly harmless.

Shwebb said:

--turns my eyeballs yellow. Neat party trick, and mostly harmless.

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Know what's sad? I really like this idea, and now I'm jealous

I hope you have something dire that requires you to eat twelve cheeseburgers a day. Then you can tell those health nuts to get stuffed.

Shwebb said:

Maddy, when I was in my mid-twenties, I started feeling really fatigued, and I couldn't figure out why. So I went to our local doctor.

He told me that I must be depressed, and that was causing my fatigue. Funny, but I was far from depressed at the time, just really tired. I was thinking, "Gee, maybe I'm depressed, and I just don't know it!."

He did run some bloodwork, and my liver enzymes came back elevated. I spoke to him on the phone, and he said, "You don't drink, do you?"

"No," I said. "Just a drink or two a couple times per year. Not enough even to count."

"C'mon, tell me, you're a closet drinker, aren't you?"

"Nope, I don't drink closets, either. Now, what are we going to do about my liver?"

Turns out that liver issues do run in both sides of my family. I have Gilbert's syndrome, which, whenever I lose weight, causes my body to build up excess amounts of bilirubin--turns my eyeballs yellow. Neat party trick, and mostly harmless.

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Jeez, why can't docs, sometimes, just accept the fact that maybe there's something organically wrong. As opposed to, it being the fault of the patient. Just wonderin'.

Cripe sakes.

And why oh why do they repeatedly have to ask teenagers if they're pregnant? What, Maddy's lying. The first, 2nd, 3rd and 4th responses weren't sufficient.

Again, cripes!

Go for the cheeseburger diet. Tell 'em it's doctor's orders.

maddythemad said:

Well guess what? The doctor decided to postpone the blood tests. The deal is, if I gain 5 pounds by next month, I won't have to get tested. Sound like a threat to you?

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*cocks gun* Eat the damn Twinkie, maddy! Eat it!

Jean Marie said:

Jeez, why can't docs, sometimes, just accept the fact that maybe there's something organically wrong. As opposed to, it being the fault of the patient. Just wonderin'.

Cripe sakes.

And why oh why do they repeatedly have to ask teenagers if they're pregnant? What, Maddy's lying. The first, 2nd, 3rd and 4th responses weren't sufficient.

Again, cripes!

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I think he was the kind of doc that still thought a woman who had mood issues needed a hysterectomy.

He was our county coroner, and the joke was that dead people were really the only sort of patients he was qualified to have.

I don't think they treat male patients quite the same way as they do female ones. Just pat us on the head--must be our hormones, or something else female-related.

Shwebb said:

I think he was the kind of doc that still thought a woman who had mood issues needed a hysterectomy.

He was our county coroner, and the joke was that dead people were really the only sort of patients he was qualified to have.

I don't think they treat male patients quite the same way as they do female ones. Just pat us on the head--must be our hormones, or something else female-related.

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Um, sounds as if he should stick w/ dead people. Bedside manners don't count as much.

And I tend to agree w/ your last comment that male patients do get treated differently. Like men don't hormones Give me a break.

So, Maddy, you chowin' down the burgers? You lucky girl
May as well throw a few strips of bacon on 'em, too. I mean, what the heck.

maddythemad said:

Oh, you're such a spoilsport. I'm naming mine Herbert. I bet you have TWINS.

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Herbert?

You know what, Maddy? Until you can think of a name that won't get your son's ass kicked every day, don't even contemplate having sex, even if you're on the pill and he's one of those sterile farm boys.

As a matter of fact, I don't want you watching anything on cable television, except maybe Nick, and only during the day. You never know when Happy Days might come on with Fonzie walking a girl or two up to his apartment above the garage. And the MTV? Don't even think about it.


Much love, kiddo. You're going to be fine.