BS your way through

Because the crows wanted to look sinister since that silly caw caw bit doesn't scare anyone.

What is the point of having balls on a brass monkey?

So that there is something to rub for good luck.


What did people eat for lunch before sandwiches were invented?

Your question derives from a misconception that is shared by many others. The fact is, there have always been sandwiches. Among Neanderthals, lumps of pterosaurus were placed between chunks of sqyziutf--a coarse bread made from ferns--while Australopithicus favored a proto-sandwich consisting of uncooked meat of the kangasaurodon between slices of coral. Other early species of the genus Homo had their own distinctive types of sandwiches, although most anthropologists believe that Homo erectus didn't have time for lunch.



Who invented poker?

Nymtoc said:

Your question derives from a misconception that is shared by many others. The fact is, there have always been sandwiches. Among Neanderthals, lumps of pterosaurus were placed between chunks of sqyziutf--a coarse bread made from ferns--while Australopithicus favored a proto-sandwich consisting of uncooked meat of the kangasaurodon between slices of coral. Other early species of the genus Homo had their own distinctive types of sandwiches, although most anthropologists believe that Homo erectus didn't have time for lunch.



Who invented poker?

Click to expand...

John David Pokure. His name is simply mispronounced.

If the sun never really lowers itself, why do we say it also rises?

If the sun never really lowers itself, why do we say it also rises?

In this context 'rises' refers to rising like yeast bread. The sun 'puffs up' over the horizon. Once it fills with enough hot air, it floats into the sky like a balloon. When it gets too high, the hot air turns to cold and and it drops down below the horizon. The cycle starts again, over and over until, millions of years from now, the sun will run out of yeast.



Can you get there from here?

StephanieFox said:

If the sun never really lowers itself, why do we say it also rises?

In this context 'rises' refers to rising like yeast bread. The sun 'puffs up' over the horizon. Once it fills with enough hot air, it floats into the sky like a balloon. When it gets too high, the hot air turns to cold and and it drops down below the horizon. The cycle starts again, over and over until, millions of years from now, the sun will run out of yeast.



Can you get there from here?

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No.

Who is Stephen King, anyway? Is he real or is he a rat?

Stephen King is real. He only writes because his desire to be a Renaissance faire performer was squelched when he realized that he looks terrible in tights, he's too clumsy to juggle, his singing voice makes babies cry and he can't joust because horses are afraid of him. He is not a rat, but they do seem to like him quite a lot so he may, in fact, carry a latent rat gene. Perhaps his performing career would have gone better had he decided to play a rat catcher. At least one of the guys who did ended up with a successful career on the New York stage.

Why are guns so expensive?

Melenka said:

Stephen King is real. He only writes because his desire to be a Renaissance faire performer was squelched when he realized that he looks terrible in tights, he's too clumsy to juggle, his singing voice makes babies cry and he can't joust because horses are afraid of him. He is not a rat, but they do seem to like him quite a lot so he may, in fact, carry a latent rat gene. Perhaps his performing career would have gone better had he decided to play a rat catcher. At least one of the guys who did ended up with a successful career on the New York stage.

Why are guns so expensive?

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Murder doesn't come cheap.

How many times does the average five-year-old ask 'why'?

How many times does the average five-year-old ask 'why'?

56,019 times per quarter.
Oh,you said average.... Make that 43,019.

Why aren't gas stations offering sets of dishes to go with their astronomical prices?

talkwrite said:

How many times does the average five-year-old ask 'why'?

56,019 times per quarter.
Oh,you said average.... Make that 43,019.

Why aren't gas stations offering sets of dishes to go with their astronomical prices?

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Some gas stations offer free tire pressure guages to keep tire pressure at a proper level for better fuel economy and some offer free aspiren because of the headache you get when pumping the outrageously priced gas into your automobile but most will never offer free dishes as an incentive for the high priced petroleum because it is absolutely to exspensive to provide plates to everyone who can't eat anyway because thier tougues are sore from biting it to keep from cursing out the poor innocent desk clerks.

How many miles is it from the west coast to the east coast if you drive on Route 66?

The number of miles is irrelevant because once you get your kicks on route 66, you will stop counting the miles and just enjoy the ride.

Why are public facilities called 'restrooms'? Do people actually rest inside those places? And if so, where are the sofas?

Woof said:

The number of miles is irrelevant because once you get your kicks on route 66, you will stop counting the miles and just enjoy the ride.

Why are public facilities called 'restrooms'? Do people actually rest inside those places? And if so, where are the sofas?

Click to expand...

Restrooms are called restrooms because it would be offensive to call them pi$$ers. No, people can't rest in restrooms anymore because all of the sofa's were removed because the urine smell became so strong that people's noses begin to melt off of thier faces whenever they would sit on them; hence, no more sofas in the pi$$ers uhh, restrooms.


If you had one gallon of water and one gallon of oil and one gallon of whiskey which of the three would be the best choice to mix together?

The answer is simple:

1. Mix together 1 gallon oil
with one gallon water.

2. Shake vigorously.

3. Pour mixture on very large salad.

4. Raise gallon of whiskey to mouth
and drink.

5. Forget about salad.



How did people originally know which mushrooms were poisonous and which ones were edible?

How did people originally know which mushrooms were poisonous and which ones were edible?


In the old days, all mushrooms were edible because humans had a special organ to filter out neuro poisons. With the invention of agriculture, diets became more limited and the organ began to disappear. There are a few cases in modern times of people who believe that they have this organ and can eat any mushroom they want. They are wrong.



How much would you be worth today if your mom hadn't thrown away your baseball card collection?

Woof said:

The number of miles is irrelevant because once you get your kicks on route 66, you will stop counting the miles and just enjoy the ride.

Why are public facilities called 'restrooms'? Do people actually rest inside those places? And if so, where are the sofas?

Click to expand...

That's right; before there were commodes (AKA potties), you had to squat to do your thing. It tiring of course, so when when toilet "stools" were installed, people could rest Also, there were times when a lady would show up during the telling of a raunchy anecdote. So the teller and his audience would retire to the men's room to hear the rest.

Why is the right side the wrong side to get on a horse?

StephanieFox said:

How much would you be worth today if your mom hadn't thrown away your baseball card collection?

Click to expand...

It's not so much a question of what you would be worth today, but rather how much freedom you would have. You see, after your Mom threw out your baseball card collection which included such priceless items as an autographed Babe Ruth in mint condition, you flew into a rage and attacked her with your Swiss army knife, and were sentenced to 20 years in a federal prison. Was it really all worth it for a pile of baseball cards?

jbryson said:

Why is the right side the wrong side to get on a horse?

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It all depends on the horse's mood. If he's in a snit, it doesn't matter what side you get on, he will still try to bite you and stamp on your foot. And it can become a vicious circle, because what generally sets horses off in the first place, is peoples' insistence on plunking their big fat asses on the horses' backs and riding them. That would put anyone in a bad mood.


Where did the term 'green with envy' come from? Are trees and grass envious?

Envy is a healthy state of being for them unlike their yellow -with-hepatitis appearance after a dogs visits....

How can time fly when it is just as often standing still?

When you're not looking time zips all over the place then comes back to sneer and stick its tongue out at you.

How high is up?

Well, here's what you have to do to find the answer: Seat yourself in the cockpit of a supersonic rocket ship, set the speed at one million times the speed of light, and head straight up in the air. Then sit back, enjoy the view, have a cool drink and travel for about 10,000 years, give or take a day - and don't worry about aging, because your face and body won't sag nearly as much with the loss of gravity. Finally you will see a large roof with the following sign: YOU HAVE NOW REACHED THE TOP OF THE UNIVERSE. NO ENTRY BEYOND THIS POINT. AND BEFORE YOU HEAD BACK, DON'T FORGET TO STOP AT COSMIC AL'S GAS & SNACK BAR.



Instead of getting expensive face lifts, why don't people just inject their sagging flesh with helium?

Helium treatment (heliumoplasty) has been tried in several small European countries. It was initially thought to be the perfect solution for people with sagging skin, but its developers had failed to take into account helium's valence, and three of the first five patients disappeared soon after being released from hospitals. After an investigation, authorities concluded that they had drifted away.



Can my ouija board tell me who's going to win the presidential election in November?

Nymtoc said:

Can my ouija board tell me who's going to win the presidential election in November?

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No because it was made in China and they have no term that is a translation for election. In fact they pronounce their "l"'s like "r"'s...so there you go. In fact they kind of wonder why it only comes up every four years.


What does retirement have to do with retreading your tires anyway?

The Ouija board knows all and shall reveal all: The winner of the presidential election in November will be a...we're getting a word...a Dem...a Demo...a Demon! Yes...no...wait...sorry...that was the winner of the last presidential election!


What is destiny, exactly?

Retirement is actually retreading your backside in peppermint icing after 50 years on a desk job.
Destiny is what happens when you're not looking.

Why is luck called a lady?

That is the easiest of all possible questions to answer.

Luck is called a lady because Luck is fickle.



Have you ever seen a ghost?

Nymtoc said:

That is the easiest of all possible questions to answer.

Luck is called a lady because Luck is fickle.



Have you ever seen a ghost?

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No, but I've heard them, and when my children were younger they claimed that one was always up to mischief in my house. When I asked who broke the cookie jar, for example, they always pointed their finger toward our ghostly inhabitant. They even knew his name: "Not me."

Why did that stupid ant want to move that rubbertree plant?