BS your way through

Nymtoc

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It comes from the days when almost everyone used a typewriter. One well-known writer's machine had a faulty space bar, and he had to manually adjust the keys and the platen every time he wanted to create a space between words. He apologized to his readers for his slowness, explaining that he was "spaced out."

Do bumblebees really bumble?
 

James Ryan

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Answer: They do. If you listen really close they are actually whispering "bumble" really fast. it is too low a frequency for most humans to hear but the trained human sense a bee bumbling.

Question: Do pigs fly when no one is looking?
 

Mary Mitchell

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They do, just as much as honey bees honey.

With seven joints per leg, what happens when spiders get arthritis in their knees?
 

Pony.

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They take seven times the aspirin you do.


How long is a piece of string?
 

Nymtoc

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As long as you want. You're a writer aren't you? Use your f***ing imagination!

Why do so few homes built today have secret passageways?
 

M.S. Wiggins

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They do. It's just that they're a better kept secret now.

Where are all the solar eclipse glasses? Who the hell bought them all? (←asks the disgruntled last-minute consumer of solar eclipse glasses.)
 

Pony.

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According to realtor.com,all the 'not yous' have them. In other words everyone has them but you. There is, however, a video on the internet on how to make a pin hole camera box for safer eclipse viewing. I'm pretty sure you have a spare pizza box or two laying around.


What happened to all the good old fashioned apocalyptic connotations that used to go along with eclipses?
 

armydillo978

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After "Night of the Meteor" the govt stepped in and started regulating movies.....secretly. So they could influence Hollywood to make the "right" types of movies to condition the public to accept certain things that they would slowly release in the future...... Like Starbucks and yoga pants.

Why do t-shirts cost 20-30$ Especially if there made in batches by the hundreds.
 

Pony.

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It's a matter of what the market will bear. Not to mention there are silly people who will pay it.


What comes after the end?
 

armydillo978

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Usually....after your end comes the underwear.....unless your going "commando" then it would be the pants. But generally, that's it....unless you count toilet paper.

Why are workdays so long, and off work days so short?
 

Pony.

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It's not so bad. If you consider a full time work week of 40 hours compared to the available hours you're off on the weekends at 48 hours, you actually have more time off than you spend at work.


Was there really a need for a pink 1911 pistol? Did women really want this?
imagejpeg
 

armydillo978

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Yes...... women wanted to feel femine, and tough.....and cool....so they could post pictures on social media.....though most of them couldn't hit shit on a barn with that 1911. Well, that's a guess.

Why is it that the store keeps selling me lottery tickets that aren't winners? Is that a class action law suit?
 
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Pony.

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No more so than the realization that I keep buying winning tickets and some jerk breaks into my house and swaps it out for his losing ticket. I need new dogs.


My wife is an excellent shot, why do people have a problem with women handling guns?
 

armydillo978

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Woman are excellent shooters.....especially when they find out their spouse has stepped out on them......


And when did Pony become a guy?
 

Mary Mitchell

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My assumption is that it was when his mommy's X chromosome starting holding hands with his daddy's Y chromosome, although with modern medical technology, I could be wrong.

If you've ever been hit in the head with a red delicious, doesn't it make you wonder: If Newton thought of gravity after being conked on the noggin by a piece of fruit, how reliable should we consider his thought processes to have been in that possibly concussed state?
 

Pony.

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Newton was never actually hit on the head by a falling apple. He did see one fall and wondered why it fell down and not up or not sideways or not bounce back up after hitting the ground. The experience fomented the beginnings of his theories on gravity.


I do have long hair and I've been told I write female characters well, but do I seriously come across like a woman?
 

armydillo978

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Pony has long hair....due to his hippie influnces.....as for writing female characters, he learned that by suffering in a relationship with a female who was a mental case.....but then again....which of them aren't? Especially after they have children. But, I digress.....Pony has a pony.....wait for it..... tail....pony tail.


Thank you, thank you. I know, it was rather clever. :)

Why am I so clever, it's hard to be so gifted.
 

Nymtoc

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It's very difficult to answer that question. Armydillo thinks he's clever. Clearly, he isn't clever at all, but how can we tell him that without hurting his feelings? Perhaps we should just continue to humor him, saying, "Clever!" every time he posts. That way, he can drift along in his delusions, priding himself on his supposed cleverness, and there's really no harm done, is there?

Such a sad case.


Why am I so incredibly witty?
 

Pony.

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Someone has to be; I can't do it all the time.


Who ate my ice cream?
 

armydillo978

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Nymtoc ate it....just before a rampant armadillo ran into the room and bit his toe.....I imagine.....they are devious beasties.

Why is Nymtoc an ice cream eating whore? The swine.
 

Mary Mitchell

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For the same reason everyone who isn't severely lactose intolerant is one.

Why are there no purple mammals?
 

armydillo978

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Ha....you are wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Has one not heard of Barney? That mighty creature of dinosaur appearance.....

Why did Mary fall into the ditch on the way to the pub?
 

Mary Mitchell

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She fell over laughing because Army called Barney a mammal. (Of course, I'm not sure how to categorize a furry dinosaur besides in the "bad dream" category, so who knows--maybe he's got a point. Now I'm dizzy. Uh-oh, more falling down coming up.)

Why do they call it "white chocolate" when it doesn't taste like chocolate and has not chocolate in it?
 

Drachen Jager

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Racism.

How can I help stop global warming and drive my monster truck to work every day?
 

Nymtoc

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Lose the internal combusion engine and get a team of huskies.

How can I get a manager to take care of all the boring stuff, so I can concentrate on being great?
 
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