BS your way through

C.bronco · Sep 18, 2015

Who needs seeds to stick in your teeth? Not me, man! No way!

Blueberries. Share your feelings about their superiority.

BarII · Sep 18, 2015

Traditionally stomped by the blue footed booby, blueberries make a superior dry wine. For a sweeter beverage, use sugar gliders.

Why do male genies prefer lamps to bottles?

Nymtoc · Sep 18, 2015

It's a union thing. The International Brotherhood of Male Wish Granters has a contract with the Lamp Manufacturers Association. Female genies have a similar arrangement with Associated World Bottlers.

Why doesn't breadfruit grow in loaves?

Pony. · Sep 19, 2015

It would be too cliche. Just like if monk fruit only grow in a monastery.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

BarII · Sep 19, 2015

Pats of butter. Used to be that you were stuck with a whole stick. That's how dinosaurs got so big.

Was the inventor of butter trying to solve a problem he was having with his butt?

Pony. · Sep 19, 2015

no, he was really just wanting some lobster thermadore

when they say 'it is written...', where exactly is it written?

Nymtoc · Sep 19, 2015

Pony. said:
when they say 'it is written...', where exactly is it written?

Where the moving finger wrote it.

What is the most appropriate punishment for jaywalking?

Leila76 · Sep 19, 2015

Jaydragging. That's where the unfortunate jaywalker gets dragged by an SUV for a couple city blocks. Hell on clothes.

Why is El Nino supposed to be worse again this year?

pkbax · Sep 19, 2015

Because he's a spoiled brat and his mom (Mother Nature, of course, who else?) thinks her angel can do no wrong.

Why can't they fix the thermostat in my office so it's not always freezing in here?

BarII · Sep 19, 2015

Because the Hungarian Vaseline Appliers Coalition was listed under HVAC and all they could do is lubricate stuff and make goulash.

Who was the month of June named after?

Russ Mars · Sep 19, 2015

June Cleaver, The Beaver's mom.

Are the layers ever going to settle down?

C.bronco · Sep 19, 2015

Perhaps they will, but they will most likely argue about it. Their settlement's progress will likely be delayed by appeals. (Oops. I thought you wrote "lawyers."

Mums are in season. How will this enhance my plans?

Russ Mars · Sep 20, 2015

While the mums are in season, the dads are especially vigilant and dangerous, so your plans must include methods for avoiding them.

What is the significance of closed Venetian blinds at the Vatican?

C.bronco · Sep 20, 2015

It means that the Venetians are quite sleepy. It was probably a result of Business Socks Wednesday.

Is it true that there is nothing good on TV on Wednesdays?

Nymtoc · Sep 20, 2015

Yes, and also on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

Are there any good luck charms that are guaranteed to work?

BarII · Sep 20, 2015

No. Good luck charms can't sign the contract, except for the rabbit feet but they generally don't have names.

If you gave a rabbit's foot a pen, what would it write?

Russ Mars · Sep 20, 2015

Erotica.

Why can't they get the toenails out of the hamburger?

Pony. · Sep 21, 2015

They aren't trying to get the toenails out of hamburger, they just see it as extra protein.

I went to bed at what I call 'normal people' bed time. So why did I wake up more tired than when I went to bed?

jaus tail · Sep 21, 2015

Because you were snoring during sleep and that's according to lazy lackeys, that's a form of exercize. So that's why you're tired.

why do my colleagues make faces if i put a 'do not disturb' sign at my desk?

BarII · Sep 21, 2015

They're disguising their faces so you won't know who to blame when they smash cymbals in front of your face.

Why aren't there more cymbal solos?

Pony. · Sep 21, 2015

I blame the lack of qualified instructors sharing the

Who rigged the powerball drawing so I wouldn't win?

Russ Mars · Sep 21, 2015

A consortium oversees operation of the Powerball Lottery, and as well as tending to all the details of running the lottery, its main function is to prevent you and two other guys from ever winning.

Mathematically speaking, is there a symbol representative of the number of meatball recipes in the U.S.?

NateSean · Sep 21, 2015

There is. PBS hides it in plain sight, but you have to watch every episode of Odd Squad back to back to put all of the components together, and once you know the symbol that represents every meatball recipe, they send you a recruitment letter. It's really just a request for more money, but you feel proud of yourself.

Can I sell handmade Harry Potter merchandise without a license?

BarII · Sep 21, 2015

It's the variable "spicy x" represented by an x with a meatball above it.

I invented the Ceiling Ball. It's like a regular ball but it's meant for bouncing on the ceiling. Will it sell?

too late...

Yes, but only if you make Harry Potter look like the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

What's the difference in taste between magically delicious and delicious?

Russ Mars · Sep 21, 2015

It's just delicious until you read the rules. Once you've read the rules and play according to them, you'll be transformed to the next level in which flavors become magically delicious.

What best defines the winners in the marshmallow war?

BS your way through

I have plans...

Benefactor Member

Aspiring supervillain

Aspiring supervillain

Benefactor Member

It's nap time, right?

Interesting little planet you've got here.

I have plans...

Interesting little planet you've got here.

I have plans...

Benefactor Member

Interesting little planet you've got here.

Aspiring supervillain

Aspiring supervillain

Interesting little planet you've got here.

Vulcan/Time Lord Hybrid

Interesting little planet you've got here.