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Thread: BS your way through

  1. #11226
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    Ask him if it's regular golf, or miniature golf where you can launch the balls into traffic.

    Can the president find his own car?

  2. #11227
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    If by "car" you mean "ass", then, no.

    Why doesn't cold put fire out?
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  3. #11228
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    That's not what cold is getting paid to do, that's another union's gig.


    Does a hot dog count as a sandwich?


  4. #11229
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    Where did you get the idea that a hot dog can count?


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  5. #11230
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    You didn't do well in reading comprehension, did you?


  6. #11231
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    i kan komreehend good enuf 4 this thred!

    How many trees does it take to make a forest?


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  7. #11232
    Turning the monsters loose borogove's Avatar
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    I woodn't know.

    Why does time fly so fast?

  8. #11233
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    WHY NOT????


    Is there any possible way a guy with a 'manbun' can be taken seriously?


  9. #11234
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    Only when he's expounding on the discrete differences among eighty-two varieties of coffee.

    Why do parents assume kids will think it's a bad thing if, when they make a funny face, their face could get stuck that way?
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  10. #11235
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    Because parents don't understand kids, and kids don't understand parents, and...oh, go read Mark Twain.

    In pharmaceutical commercials, distressed-looking people take the pills and are immediately transported to leafy glades or fabulous gardens or the Eiffel Tower or the Pyramids, or else they visit colorful carnivals and quaint street fairs, where everyone is smiling. How can I get some of those pills?


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  11. #11236
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    I can give you sush a deal your own brother-in-law would blush.

    How do we know animals don't think there are gods?
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  12. #11237
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    They told me so in their prayers.


    What would god be to a grasshopper?


  13. #11238
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    A lawnmower.

    If you are a guest in the White House, is it okay to chew bubblegum?


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  14. #11239
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    Chewing your own arm off to escape would be better.

    Is there a sanitary standard for how often you should replace your old toilet brush?
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  15. #11240
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    If your cat stops chewing on the toilet brush.....then it's time to get rid of it. Cats are wise in the ways of the world....like trickster coyotes.


    Do asprin really work?

  16. #11241
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    No, so quit trying to get it to cover your shift.


    How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?


  17. #11242
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    I know from personal experience that one shepherd-collie barking at the right frequency can change the garage light from "on" to "flickering".

    If potentially dangerous coworkers are disgruntled, what are gruntled coworkers?
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  18. #11243
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    As the connotation implies, gruntled is the opposit of disgruntled. That apple polishing, brown nosing, always in a good mood, suck up of a yes man in the next office... He's an example of a gruntled employee.


    Why, what kind of shenanigans did you have in store for your coworkers?


  19. #11244
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    Reprogramming their autodial buttons so all outgoing calls go to Lavalife.

    What's your favorite sense, and why?
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  20. #11245
    "The Moving Finger writes..." M.S. Wiggins's Avatar
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    The seventh, because it’s yet to be explored.


    Do your angels fall gracefully, or in a leisured spiraling of gracelessness?
    "...and, having writ; Moves on..."

    The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
    For nothing now can ever come to any good. ~W.H. Auden


    Write,
    Always.
    Even if it's shit.
    Shit on a page is organic.
    A blank page is
    Inert.
    ~Wiggins
    MSusanneWiggins.com
    Twit Me

  21. #11246
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    Spirals gots angles?
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  22. #11247
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    The honorable delegate from Canukatopia failed to complete her post.


    What ever shall we do?


  23. #11248
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    Make her play goalie for the Maple Leafs against the Canadiens. (Fortunately for her, Canada has universal health care.)

    The generation after the Millenials is being called Generation Z. What can possibly come after that?


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  24. #11249
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    Nothing. We're doomed.



    Whose idea was it to name generations in the first place?


  25. #11250
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    I do believe it was various media outlets that had to come up with "filler" material and trendy "names" for different groups to make them feel special. But, that's classified.

    Why do they do the "pony" dance at strip clubs?

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