Stupid things non-writers say

Toothpaste said:

...there ARE people out there who claim to be writers, but really they just like sitting in coffee shops play-acting "author".

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Over here, the people sitting around in coffee shops have a hard time giving an intelligible reply to 'Do you know what time it is?', so they must be real authors, not the play-acting types.

I admit, reading all these makes my eye twitch. The thing I hear most often is "You write articles for a living? So you're not a *real* author or anything.

Storm Surge said:

Then about a week ago, she says something even stranger: "You're pretty good at dialogue. You should just write comics."

I don't get it.

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As someone who's been trying to get work writing comics for years, I'm mildly offended that she thinks that's the only thing there is to it.

Del said:

My mom won't read my work because I call it horror. She says she thinks I'll be too gorey. So I asked her "who's your favorite author?" She said Jonathan Kellerman. So I go find a book by JK. The first chapter has a series of mutilations and same gender sex.

"MOTHER! Why do you read this crap?"

"He uses short paragraphs."

I write about monsters. He writes about a detective. I guess it depends on who is doing the mutilating. Go figure...

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This one is so choice! Made me laugh out loud.

(So, okay, I came late to the thread and was reading 2006!)

After all these years as a writer, I do understand the frustration in what you're all saying, but I've also learned that in many cases, though naive, it's well intentioned. Like Bubastes' father. At least he's not trying to be discouraging like some of the others are.

Toothpaste said:

It's funny how the assumption is that you aren't doing it professionally.

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I had the exact same convo again tonight with someone else. I think I'm gonna take the advice to stop telling people I'm a writer.

Blake M. Petit said:

As someone who's been trying to get work writing comics for years, I'm mildly offended that she thinks that's the only thing there is to it.

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I believe she also had some nutty idea that I'd draw them too. (I drew my avatar so you can see I'm not good at that sort of stuff.)

I almost never tell people that I write anymore, but every now and again my husband does and earns himself some serious glaring.

Much worse, though, are the questions I get having worked in publishing. Everyone wants to know how to get a book published, and no one likes the answers, ever.

So my husband and I are getting ready to move back to the States, and he's been communicating with his sponsor (the person in his new command who's assigned to help him get settled into the new city, find cars, etc). It's also the sponsor's job to set up any assistance for spouses (i.e., me) to find employment if needed.

This conversation happened the other night:

Sponsor: And what does your wife do?

Husband: She's a writer.

Sponsor: ...mmkay then.

(later)

Sponsor: Will your wife be seeking employment when she arrives?

Husband: No. I told you, she's a writer.

Sponsor: ...

Husband: ...

Sponsor: I'll just mark "yes".

After I have explained in the Queen's English,Ebonics,and written on a billboard that I am NOT to be disturbed during certain hours UNLESS it is an emergency,this happens:

*Phone rings as I am busily typing my epic Tolkien level fantasy(forgive me for I suffer from extreme delusions of grandeur)*

Caller: Hey,Kit. What are you doing?

Me: Is something wrong? Is everybody okay?

Caller: No,I was just calling to holler. What's up?

*glances at clock*

Me: Do you realize what time it is?

Caller: Yeah,but it's not like you are doing anything. Did you see Basketball Wives last night?

*prays for grace*

Me: This is my writing time. I work one FT and one PT job not to mention have four kids and a Pekingese. Plus,three younger brothers that are completely insane and require daily tending. My time to write is limited. You know that.

Caller: Girl,it's just writing! It's not that serious. You can always go back and start over.

*@#%^$&$*#^$*! To hell with grace*

Me: Get.off.my.line. NOW.


It's like people don't take writing seriously. Just because we aren't published YET doesn't mean we aren't deadly serious about our work and with work,family,etc,it takes a lot to carve out some time to write.

Kitty27 said:

It's like people don't take writing seriously. Just because we aren't published YET doesn't mean we aren't deadly serious about our work and with work,family,etc,it takes a lot to carve out some time to write.

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Props to you for sticking to your guns. Drives me nuts when people assume that just because whatever you're doing (be it writing or anything else) isn't emergency brain surgery, it isn't important, you can drop it at their whim, etc. GRRR.

thethinker42 said:

Props to you for sticking to your guns. Drives me nuts when people assume that just because whatever you're doing (be it writing or anything else) isn't emergency brain surgery, it isn't important, you can drop it at their whim, etc. GRRR.

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I think it happens to a lot of writers,especially with friends and family. I don't like to be mean but time is precious and writing is a LOT of work. Queries,writing a synopsis, researching agents, research for the book,and a hundred other things. People don't realize that.

All writers have to be ruthless about their time. If someone gets offended=*kanye shrug*

thethinker42 said:

Props to you for sticking to your guns. Drives me nuts when people assume that just because whatever you're doing (be it writing or anything else) isn't emergency brain surgery, it isn't important, you can drop it at their whim, etc. GRRR.

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Well, let's see what Jack Nicholson in The Shining has to say about it.

Kitty27 said:

I think it happens to a lot of writers,especially with friends and family. I don't like to be mean but time is precious and writing is a LOT of work. Queries,writing a synopsis, researching agents, research for the book,and a hundred other things. People don't realize that.

All writers have to be ruthless about their time. If someone gets offended=*kanye shrug*

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It really does happen a lot, and it drives me batty. It's like people assume we just sneeze and produce a finished book.

And agreed about being ruthless with your time. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who can't accept that writing occupies a significant amount of my time...well, they aren't worth my time.

Manuel Royal said:

Well, let's see what Jack Nicholson in The Shining has to say about it.

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My husband can attest that that is so ME it isn't even funny. hehehe

Meh. I write in Starbucks. It has nice wi-fi, and the clerk is cute.

Kitty27 said:

All writers have to be ruthless about their time.

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This is so true, and something I need to practice more. I tend to let people interrupt, then don't get enough done.

I want to be as ruthless as Kitty when I grow up.

Originally Posted by Del
My mom won't read my work because I call it horror. She says she thinks I'll be too gorey. So I asked her "who's your favorite author?" She said Jonathan Kellerman. So I go find a book by JK. The first chapter has a series of mutilations and same gender sex.

"MOTHER! Why do you read this crap?"

"He uses short paragraphs."

I write about monsters. He writes about a detective. I guess it depends on who is doing the mutilating. Go figure...

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I was so pleased to see same-gender sex equated with mutilation. Not. But maybe all of us occasional or constant M/M or F/F writers can learn a lesson from this evidently necromanced post:

You can get away with gay sex as long as the paragraphs are short.

I should note that my girlfriend couldn't possibly be more supportive, or better about giving me whatever time I need to write. (She also stayed up past her bedtime more than once to proofread an installment for my column because I kept waiting 'til almost deadline to write it.)

My cat, on the other hand, freaks out if I close my door, and won't shut up about it.

Kitty27 said:

It's like people don't take writing seriously. Just because we aren't published YET doesn't mean we aren't deadly serious about our work and with work,family,etc,it takes a lot to carve out some time to write.

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It doesn't get any better once you're published.

PrincessofPersia said:

It doesn't get any better once you're published.

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A-freaking-men.

This conversation actually just happened. I saw a couple of my neighbors outside talking, so went out to be sociable and get my mail.

Neighbor 1, to Neighbor 2: Have you met Tas? She writes children's books.
Me: Um...no, actually, I don't. I write adult UF novels.
Neighbor 1: Oh, it's the same thing.

Let's have some good news for a change!!!

My Published Author friend, like everyone, has her personal challenges. In her case it's a wicked stepmother who never had a kind word for her in her life and who went around their small town spreading the most filthy, dishonest gossip about her stepdaughter (my friend) that you can imagine after my friend went off to a VERY DEMANDING college. Stepmom accused my friend of stuff like drug dealing, whoring, stealing, the very worst.

Well, about ten years later my friend published her book, a well-researched and well-written biography about a person whose fame has faded but whose life was very interesting nevertheless. She got some very good reviews, and news got back to the small town, where lots of people read it to see what kind of filthy thing the whoring, drug-dealing thief had written.

One day, one of them approached my friend in the street and said, "I was completely wrong about you. I believed your wicked stepmother, but after reading your book I can see that no one as lazy and criminal and disorganized as she made you out to be could have produced something that reflects so much discipline and hard work."

I no longer give my step-father anything to read that I've written (I write sci-fi/fantasy). He always says two things:

1. This is "weird."
2. I only like stories that are told in places I know or have been (he likes a lot of small-town mystery novels).

When I try to explain that my genre usually contains a made-up realm of some kind, he just kind of shrugs and says "I wouldn't write it that way."

I get that fantasy AND sci-fi can take place in a parallel universe/alternate reality and that it could feasibly occur in some small town that HE knows well, but uhh... epic medieval fantasy? Not happening.

CrastersBabies said:

This is "weird."

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Boy, I've gotten that one a lot.

CrastersBabies said:

I get that fantasy AND sci-fi can take place in a parallel universe/alternate reality and that it could feasibly occur in some small town that HE knows well, but uhh... epic medieval fantasy? Not happening.

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Are you kidding? That sounds like an AWESOME idea for a story!

Kitty27 said:

I think it happens to a lot of writers,especially with friends and family. I don't like to be mean but time is precious and writing is a LOT of work. Queries,writing a synopsis, researching agents, research for the book,and a hundred other things. People don't realize that.

All writers have to be ruthless about their time. If someone gets offended=*kanye shrug*

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My younger sister is actually the most understanding of my writing time. She works from home and gets the same response I get when I tell people I'm working. "Riiiight. Working....m-kay."