GROWL!

Bartholomew · Sep 3, 2006

The next agent who sends me a rejection printed on half of a peice of generic brand toilet paper two-ply is going to get rough treatment from me.

If they're worth 12 sheets of paper from my letter, partial, and synopsis, I'm worth a peice of paper AT LEAST the size of a greeting card.

Lets see...

"Dear _Agent_,

I'm sorry to hear about the desperate paper shortages in New York. I had no idea the problem had become so bad. Enclosed, please find a ream of paper.

Yours,

Bart"

...and they'll delve further into the package to discover a roll of toilet paper.

Beware, Agents! The Muse of Sarcasm is with me!

Jamesaritchie · Sep 3, 2006

rejections

Bartholomew said:
The next agent who sends me a rejection printed on half of a peice of generic brand toilet paper two-ply is going to get rough treatment from me.

If they're worth 12 sheets of paper from my letter, partial, and synopsis, I'm worth a peice of paper AT LEAST the size of a greeting card.

Lets see...

"Dear _Agent_,

I'm sorry to hear about the desperate paper shortages in New York. I had no idea the problem had become so bad. Enclosed, please find a ream of paper.

Yours,

Bart"

...and they'll delve further into the package to discover a roll of toilet paper.

Beware, Agents! The Muse of Sarcasm is with me!

Be careful. There's a standard reply for writers who do this. You may get a note back from the agent saying something like:

"Thank you very much. A third grader apparently intercepted the last paper you sent before it reached my office, and ruined it by typing some really silly things all over it."

They also have some very good replies for toilet paper, but I'll let you be surprised by those.

maddythemad · Sep 3, 2006

As tempting as that may be, I really hope you're kidding because you never know where the agent is going to turn up. It may be in the future that you really, really need to get along with this agent for whatever reason.

Revenge is sweet, but not always the best of ideas.

Patricia · Sep 3, 2006

Boy--some people just don't know which side of their bread is buttered, and who does the buttering. Bart, how do you know that agent doesn’t hang out here? Not all the editors and agents at AW reveal themselves and some don’t use their real names. You may find the next "piece" of tp very revealing.

Popeyesays · Sep 3, 2006

I'm sorry, but generic brand two-ply is likely to be as "rough" a treatment as I can stand.

I remember a brand of toilet paper from my youth called "Silk", at the time if there had been a 'truth in advertising' law, the name would have been 'Sandpaper'.
Regards,
Scott

Irysangel · Sep 3, 2006

You know, one of the nicest rejections I ever received was scribbled on the bottom of a form rejection that was about the size of a third of a sheet of paper.

I didn't think of it as an 'insult' but more along the lines of the agency saving themselves the time of having to fold the paper 3x to get it to fit in my regular-sized envelope.

Just sayin'.

Silver King · Sep 3, 2006

Bart has a great point. But lately, every time I read one of his posts, it's rudely interrupted by that anti-whatever he's got blaring from his posts.

I hope he's not upset by the suggestion, but I wish he'd tone it down just a little. It gives me a headache.

Patricia · Sep 3, 2006

Silver King said:
I hope he's not upset by the suggestion, but I wish he'd tone it down just a little. It gives me a headache.

Yep--very distracting.

Jamesaritchie · Sep 3, 2006

Bart

Silver King said:
Bart has a great point. But lately, every time I read one of his posts, it's rudely interrupted by that anti-whatever he's got blaring from his posts.

I hope he's not upset by the suggestion, but I wish he'd tone it down just a little. It gives me a headache.

In truth, I skip most of his posts just because of that blaring banner thingy. If I want politics, I'll start posting on CNN.

Bartholomew · Sep 4, 2006

Politics? No, No, Literature.

1984. ^^

Boy--some people just don't know which side of their bread is buttered, and who does the buttering. Bart, how do you know that agent doesn’t hang out here? Not all the editors and agents at AW reveal themselves and some don’t use their real names. You may find the next "piece" of tp very revealing.

Satire. Noun.

"Verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule."

Toilet Paper. Noun.

"The stuff Bart's rejection slips are printed on."

Silver King · Sep 4, 2006

Huh. And all this time I thought Orwell was describing the human condition based on his observations of government intrusion upon the lives of a populace choked into submission by too much politics.

I need to remove my sunglasses, which protect against Bart's glaring ideology, so I may start reading 1984 all over again.

Bartholomew · Sep 4, 2006

Silver King said:
Huh. And all this time I thought Orwell was describing the human condition based on his observations of government intrusion upon the lives of a populace choked into submission by too much politics.

I need to remove my sunglasses, which protect against Bart's glaring ideology, so I may start reading 1984 all over again.

Isn't that what it is...?

When I said Satire, I meant my post. I'm not claiming to have done it well, I'm just saying thats what it is.

Anyway, yes, the 1984 signature was a bit Garish. Onward to Poe, where my opinions aren't quite so intrusive.

Silver King · Sep 4, 2006

Ahhh, that's much better, Bart. And the commando babe is much easier on the eyes.

Thank you.

Jamesaritchie · Sep 4, 2006

Sigs

I still prefer nice sigs that have something to do with writing, and that aren't so big and in your face that it's impossible to pay attention to the post itself.

Bartholomew · Sep 4, 2006

Silver King said:
Ahhh, that's much better, Bart. And the commando babe is much easier on the eyes.

Thank you.

I aim to please.

No word about the zombie face superimposed over it all? Sigh.

I don't think I picked a good image for Poe. He wasn't that subtle... =)

Silver King · Sep 4, 2006

Bartholomew said:
No word about the zombie face superimposed over it all?

Until you mentioned it, I thought it was MY reflection leaning down to have a better look.

Bartholomew · Sep 4, 2006

Silver King said:
Until you mentioned it, I thought it was MY reflection leaning down to have a better look.

Hah!

GROWL!

Bartholomew

Comic guy

Jamesaritchie

maddythemad

Patricia

California Dreaming

Popeyesays

Now departed. Rest in peace, Scott, from all of us

Irysangel

She of Many Names

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

Patricia

California Dreaming

Jamesaritchie

Bartholomew

Comic guy

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

Bartholomew

Comic guy

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

Jamesaritchie

Bartholomew

Comic guy

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

Bartholomew

Comic guy