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Thread: Limericks Live!

  1. #19326
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    My bonnie lies over the ocean
    She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
    She's delightfully sweet
    Except for her feet


    The end of the world is at hand
    I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
    If it's all going to end
    Let's go have fun, my friend,

    ἁμαρτία--in English "hamartia"--is Aristotle's word for the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall. It entails enormous narcissism and grandiosity, along with a determination to defeat and disgrace all enemies (and perceived enemies) and be recognized as the greatest person in the world. Sound like anyone you know?

  2. #19327
    practical experience, FTW
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    My bonnie lies over the ocean
    She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
    She's delightfully sweet
    Except for her feet
    Which sure need a magical potion.


    The end of the world is at hand
    I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
    If it's all going to end
    Let's go have fun, my friend,
    So dance to apocalypse band!



    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    ~ Vita Brevis, Ars Longa ~

  3. #19328
    Talk to the hat Zeddo's Avatar
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    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    You must leap back and forth like a hoofer

  4. #19329
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
    A skip and a hop

    ἁμαρτία--in English "hamartia"--is Aristotle's word for the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall. It entails enormous narcissism and grandiosity, along with a determination to defeat and disgrace all enemies (and perceived enemies) and be recognized as the greatest person in the world. Sound like anyone you know?

  5. #19330
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
    A skip and a hop
    Like the Comet Hale-Bop


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  6. #19331
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
    A skip and a hop
    Like the Comet Hale-Bop
    You'll excel, not be known as a goofer.

    When Lola was still in her prime

    ἁμαρτία--in English "hamartia"--is Aristotle's word for the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall. It entails enormous narcissism and grandiosity, along with a determination to defeat and disgrace all enemies (and perceived enemies) and be recognized as the greatest person in the world. Sound like anyone you know?

  7. #19332
    aka Dylan di Vilde
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    When Lola was still in her prime
    It was said she’d take two at a time
    Collected Poems - Now Thatís What I Call Volume Two http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/sir_nigel available now.

  8. #19333
    When All Else Fails, Lavern It© Lavern08's Avatar
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    When Lola was still in her prime
    It was said she’d take two at a time
    But now that she's older
    BREAKFAST WITH LAVERN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9ui68rmpcw
    BUFFALO ICE CREAM: https://youtu.be/aK-zNv7VKlQ
    iHEART ICE CREAM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXxsR4Q8H0

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Yeah, I know Ted, but Vernie is hawt nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Everybody loves Lavern.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    I blurves me some Vernie.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Damn, Haggis...Vernie would be upset, and nobody wants to see that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    I have a secret, platonic crush on Lavern

    Quote Originally Posted by Mclesh View Post
    I love you, Lavern. That is all.


  9. #19334
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    When Lola was still in her prime
    It was said she’d take two at a time
    But now that she's older
    (Claims the hospital's folder)


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  10. #19335
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    When Lola was still in her prime
    It was said she’d take two at a time
    But now that she's older
    (Claims the hospital's folder)
    She lives on Bacardi with lime.

    Sue uses seductive cologne

    ἁμαρτία--in English "hamartia"--is Aristotle's word for the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall. It entails enormous narcissism and grandiosity, along with a determination to defeat and disgrace all enemies (and perceived enemies) and be recognized as the greatest person in the world. Sound like anyone you know?

  11. #19336
    aka Dylan di Vilde
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    Sue uses seductive cologne
    So men and flies leave her alone
    Collected Poems - Now Thatís What I Call Volume Two http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/sir_nigel available now.

  12. #19337
    practical experience, FTW
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    Sue uses seductive cologne
    so men and flies leave her alone
    Cause it smells so bad

  13. #19338
    Why do I say these things? iLion's Avatar
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    Sue uses seductive cologne
    so men and flies leave her alone
    Cause it smells so bad
    Only dogs all seem glad



  14. #19339
    Talk to the hat Zeddo's Avatar
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    Sue uses seductive cologne
    so men and flies leave her alone
    Cause it smells so bad
    Only dogs all seem glad
    She smells like a long-buried bone

    I used to drink rum with molasses

  15. #19340
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    I used to drink rum with molasses
    Then someone said, "That's for badasses."

    ἁμαρτία--in English "hamartia"--is Aristotle's word for the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall. It entails enormous narcissism and grandiosity, along with a determination to defeat and disgrace all enemies (and perceived enemies) and be recognized as the greatest person in the world. Sound like anyone you know?

  16. #19341
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    I used to drink rum with molasses
    Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
    I told them, 'That's fine!"


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  17. #19342
    When All Else Fails, Lavern It© Lavern08's Avatar
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    I used to drink rum with molasses
    Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
    I told them, 'That's fine!"
    "Cause you haven't seen mine."
    BREAKFAST WITH LAVERN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9ui68rmpcw
    BUFFALO ICE CREAM: https://youtu.be/aK-zNv7VKlQ
    iHEART ICE CREAM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXxsR4Q8H0

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Yeah, I know Ted, but Vernie is hawt nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Everybody loves Lavern.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    I blurves me some Vernie.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Damn, Haggis...Vernie would be upset, and nobody wants to see that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    I have a secret, platonic crush on Lavern

    Quote Originally Posted by Mclesh View Post
    I love you, Lavern. That is all.


  18. #19343
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    I used to drink rum with molasses
    Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
    I told them, 'That's fine!
    Cause you haven't seen mine.
    But you would if you'd just wear your glasses."

    Another week has come and gone.


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  19. #19344
    Talk to the hat Zeddo's Avatar
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    Another week has come and gone
    And I still haven't mowed the lawn

  20. #19345
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    Another week has come and gone
    And I still haven't mowed the lawn

    In each of the above lines, the beat falls on a weird syllable, thus:

    Another week HAS come and gone
    And I still haveN'T mowed the lawn

    As we all know by now (don't we?) limerick lines are determined not by the number of syllables in a line but by where the beats fall.

    So here are the two lines rewritten with proper beats. (You don't like this? Sue me. )

    Another week's now come and gone
    And I failed to go mow the lawn

    ἁμαρτία--in English "hamartia"--is Aristotle's word for the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall. It entails enormous narcissism and grandiosity, along with a determination to defeat and disgrace all enemies (and perceived enemies) and be recognized as the greatest person in the world. Sound like anyone you know?

  21. #19346
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    AbsoLUTly.


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  22. #19347
    When All Else Fails, Lavern It© Lavern08's Avatar
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    Tee-Hee. Everyone's too scared to try to tackle this now.

    But not me - I ain't afraid of Nymmie's wrath:


    Another week's now come and gone
    And I failed to go mow the lawn
    The neighbors are cryin'
    BREAKFAST WITH LAVERN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9ui68rmpcw
    BUFFALO ICE CREAM: https://youtu.be/aK-zNv7VKlQ
    iHEART ICE CREAM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXxsR4Q8H0

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Yeah, I know Ted, but Vernie is hawt nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Everybody loves Lavern.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    I blurves me some Vernie.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Damn, Haggis...Vernie would be upset, and nobody wants to see that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    I have a secret, platonic crush on Lavern

    Quote Originally Posted by Mclesh View Post
    I love you, Lavern. That is all.


  23. #19348
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    Another week's now come and gone
    And I failed to go mow the lawn
    The neighbors are cryin'
    To hell with their spyin'

    ἁμαρτία--in English "hamartia"--is Aristotle's word for the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall. It entails enormous narcissism and grandiosity, along with a determination to defeat and disgrace all enemies (and perceived enemies) and be recognized as the greatest person in the world. Sound like anyone you know?

  24. #19349
    practical experience, FTW
    Join Date
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    Another week's now come and gone
    And I failed to go mow the lawn
    The neighbors are cryin'
    To hell with their spyin'
    I ran out of what? Weed-B-Gone!

    If Nymtoc was any more weird
    ~ Vita Brevis, Ars Longa ~

  25. #19350
    Talk to the hat Zeddo's Avatar
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    If Nymtoc was any more weird
    There'd be cuckoos at play in his beard

    But what if this isn't in anapestic or amphibrachic metre?

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