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Thread: Limericks Live!

  1. #19326
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    My bonnie lies over the ocean
    She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
    She's delightfully sweet
    Except for her feet


    The end of the world is at hand
    I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
    If it's all going to end
    Let's go have fun, my friend,

    "The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.” ~ Terry Pratchett

  2. #19327
    practical experience, FTW
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    My bonnie lies over the ocean
    She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
    She's delightfully sweet
    Except for her feet
    Which sure need a magical potion.


    The end of the world is at hand
    I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
    If it's all going to end
    Let's go have fun, my friend,
    So dance to apocalypse band!



    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    ~ Vita Brevis, Ars Longa ~

  3. #19328
    Talk to the hat Zeddo's Avatar
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    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    You must leap back and forth like a hoofer

  4. #19329
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
    A skip and a hop

    "The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.” ~ Terry Pratchett

  5. #19330
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
    A skip and a hop
    Like the Comet Hale-Bop


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  6. #19331
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    When faced with an obvious two-fer
    You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
    A skip and a hop
    Like the Comet Hale-Bop
    You'll excel, not be known as a goofer.

    When Lola was still in her prime

    "The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.” ~ Terry Pratchett

  7. #19332
    aka Dylan di Vilde
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    When Lola was still in her prime
    It was said she’d take two at a time
    Collected Poems - Now That’s What I Call Volume Two http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/sir_nigel available now.

  8. #19333
    When All Else Fails, Lavern It© Lavern08's Avatar
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    When Lola was still in her prime
    It was said she’d take two at a time
    But now that she's older

    Now that we have shiny new digs, let's all send a nice DONATION to Absolute Write

  9. #19334
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    When Lola was still in her prime
    It was said she’d take two at a time
    But now that she's older
    (Claims the hospital's folder)


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  10. #19335
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    When Lola was still in her prime
    It was said she’d take two at a time
    But now that she's older
    (Claims the hospital's folder)
    She lives on Bacardi with lime.

    Sue uses seductive cologne

    "The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.” ~ Terry Pratchett

  11. #19336
    aka Dylan di Vilde
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    Sue uses seductive cologne
    So men and flies leave her alone
    Collected Poems - Now That’s What I Call Volume Two http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/sir_nigel available now.

  12. #19337
    practical experience, FTW
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    Sue uses seductive cologne
    so men and flies leave her alone
    Cause it smells so bad

  13. #19338
    Why do I say these things? iLion's Avatar
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    Sue uses seductive cologne
    so men and flies leave her alone
    Cause it smells so bad
    Only dogs all seem glad



  14. #19339
    Talk to the hat Zeddo's Avatar
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    Sue uses seductive cologne
    so men and flies leave her alone
    Cause it smells so bad
    Only dogs all seem glad
    She smells like a long-buried bone

    I used to drink rum with molasses

  15. #19340
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    I used to drink rum with molasses
    Then someone said, "That's for badasses."

    "The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.” ~ Terry Pratchett

  16. #19341
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    I used to drink rum with molasses
    Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
    I told them, 'That's fine!"


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  17. #19342
    When All Else Fails, Lavern It© Lavern08's Avatar
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    I used to drink rum with molasses
    Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
    I told them, 'That's fine!"
    "Cause you haven't seen mine."

    Now that we have shiny new digs, let's all send a nice DONATION to Absolute Write

  18. #19343
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    I used to drink rum with molasses
    Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
    I told them, 'That's fine!
    Cause you haven't seen mine.
    But you would if you'd just wear your glasses."

    Another week has come and gone.


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  19. #19344
    Talk to the hat Zeddo's Avatar
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    Another week has come and gone
    And I still haven't mowed the lawn

  20. #19345
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    Another week has come and gone
    And I still haven't mowed the lawn

    In each of the above lines, the beat falls on a weird syllable, thus:

    Another week HAS come and gone
    And I still haveN'T mowed the lawn

    As we all know by now (don't we?) limerick lines are determined not by the number of syllables in a line but by where the beats fall.

    So here are the two lines rewritten with proper beats. (You don't like this? Sue me. )

    Another week's now come and gone
    And I failed to go mow the lawn

    "The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.” ~ Terry Pratchett

  21. #19346
    Maybull the Bulldog StephanieFox's Avatar
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    AbsoLUTly.


    Two months ago I couldn't even spell freelance writer
    and now I are one.


  22. #19347
    When All Else Fails, Lavern It© Lavern08's Avatar
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    Tee-Hee. Everyone's too scared to try to tackle this now.

    But not me - I ain't afraid of Nymmie's wrath:


    Another week's now come and gone
    And I failed to go mow the lawn
    The neighbors are cryin'

    Now that we have shiny new digs, let's all send a nice DONATION to Absolute Write

  23. #19348
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    Another week's now come and gone
    And I failed to go mow the lawn
    The neighbors are cryin'
    To hell with their spyin'

    "The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.” ~ Terry Pratchett

  24. #19349
    practical experience, FTW
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    Another week's now come and gone
    And I failed to go mow the lawn
    The neighbors are cryin'
    To hell with their spyin'
    I ran out of what? Weed-B-Gone!

    If Nymtoc was any more weird
    ~ Vita Brevis, Ars Longa ~

  25. #19350
    Talk to the hat Zeddo's Avatar
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    If Nymtoc was any more weird
    There'd be cuckoos at play in his beard

    But what if this isn't in anapestic or amphibrachic metre?

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