Limericks Live!

Nymtoc · Jun 7, 2012

My bonnie lies over the ocean
She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
She's delightfully sweet
Except for her feet

The end of the world is at hand
I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
If it's all going to end
Let's go have fun, my friend,

Pthom · Jun 7, 2012

My bonnie lies over the ocean
She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
She's delightfully sweet
Except for her feet
Which sure need a magical potion.

The end of the world is at hand
I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
If it's all going to end
Let's go have fun, my friend,
So dance to apocalypse band!

When faced with an obvious two-fer

Zeddo · Jun 7, 2012

When faced with an obvious two-fer
You must leap back and forth like a hoofer

Nymtoc · Jun 7, 2012

When faced with an obvious two-fer
You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
A skip and a hop

StephanieFox · Jun 7, 2012

When faced with an obvious two-fer
You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
A skip and a hop
Like the Comet Hale-Bop

Nymtoc · Jun 7, 2012

When faced with an obvious two-fer
You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
A skip and a hop
Like the Comet Hale-Bop
You'll excel, not be known as a goofer.

When Lola was still in her prime

Sir_Nigel · Jun 8, 2012

When Lola was still in her prime
It was said she’d take two at a time

Lavern08 · Jun 8, 2012

When Lola was still in her prime
It was said she’d take two at a time
But now that she's older

StephanieFox · Jun 8, 2012

When Lola was still in her prime
It was said she’d take two at a time
But now that she's older
(Claims the hospital's folder)

Nymtoc · Jun 8, 2012

When Lola was still in her prime
It was said she’d take two at a time
But now that she's older
(Claims the hospital's folder)
She lives on Bacardi with lime.

Sue uses seductive cologne

Sir_Nigel · Jun 8, 2012

Sue uses seductive cologne
So men and flies leave her alone

onestepp · Jun 8, 2012

Sue uses seductive cologne
so men and flies leave her alone
Cause it smells so bad

iLion · Jun 8, 2012

Sue uses seductive cologne
so men and flies leave her alone
Cause it smells so bad
Only dogs all seem glad

Zeddo · Jun 8, 2012

Sue uses seductive cologne
so men and flies leave her alone
Cause it smells so bad
Only dogs all seem glad
She smells like a long-buried bone

I used to drink rum with molasses

Nymtoc · Jun 8, 2012

I used to drink rum with molasses
Then someone said, "That's for badasses."

StephanieFox · Jun 8, 2012

I used to drink rum with molasses
Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
I told them, 'That's fine!"

Lavern08 · Jun 9, 2012

I used to drink rum with molasses
Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
I told them, 'That's fine!"
"Cause you haven't seen mine."

StephanieFox · Jun 9, 2012

I used to drink rum with molasses
Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
I told them, 'That's fine!
Cause you haven't seen mine.
But you would if you'd just wear your glasses."

Another week has come and gone.

Zeddo · Jun 9, 2012

Another week has come and gone
And I still haven't mowed the lawn

Nymtoc · Jun 9, 2012

Another week has come and gone
And I still haven't mowed the lawn

In each of the above lines, the beat falls on a weird syllable, thus:

Another week HAS come and gone
And I still haveN'T mowed the lawn

As we all know by now (don't we?) limerick lines are determined not by the number of syllables in a line but by where the beats fall.

So here are the two lines rewritten with proper beats. (You don't like this? Sue me. )

Another week's now come and gone
And I failed to go mow the lawn

StephanieFox · Jun 9, 2012

AbsoLUTly.

Lavern08 · Jun 10, 2012

Tee-Hee. Everyone's too scared to try to tackle this now.

But not me - I ain't afraid of Nymmie's wrath: :tongue

Another week's now come and gone
And I failed to go mow the lawn
The neighbors are cryin'

Nymtoc · Jun 10, 2012

Another week's now come and gone
And I failed to go mow the lawn
The neighbors are cryin'
To hell with their spyin'

Pthom · Jun 10, 2012

Another week's now come and gone
And I failed to go mow the lawn
The neighbors are cryin'
To hell with their spyin'
I ran out of what? Weed-B-Gone!

If Nymtoc was any more weird

Zeddo · Jun 10, 2012

If Nymtoc was any more weird
There'd be cuckoos at play in his beard

But what if this isn't in anapestic or amphibrachic metre? :scared:

Limericks Live!

Benefactor Member

Word butcher

Talk to the hat

Benefactor Member

Maybull the Bulldog

Benefactor Member

aka Dylan di Vilde

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Maybull the Bulldog

Benefactor Member

aka Dylan di Vilde

Why do I say these things?

Talk to the hat

Benefactor Member

Maybull the Bulldog

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Maybull the Bulldog

Talk to the hat

Benefactor Member

Maybull the Bulldog

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Benefactor Member

Word butcher

Talk to the hat