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Thread: Is there a Grammar Nazi in the house? (Q re parenthetical expressions)

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  1. #8
    writer, rider, reader...ex-pat! BethS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evelyn_Alexie View Post

    The editor's suggested rewrite had been to take the first comma and make /that/ a dash .
    That could work, but I think you'd need to change "and" to "or."

    His body was wiry and strong, and the dark eyes that met Lia's were bright with interest--or could it be pity?

    And possibly consider changing "it" to "that."

    If you really want to keep "and," maybe--

    His body was wiry and strong, and the dark eyes that met Lia's were bright with interest...and pity?
    Last edited by BethS; 12-23-2017 at 03:44 PM.

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