how to write a character in hidden location watching other characters

cmeffa

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Hi. Since I received some helpful info via a response on this site I figured I would ask another question I had. I was wondering if there are any good examples of how to write a character watching other characters from a hidden location in screenplay. A variety of searches online haven't given me a clear cut answer on this. Some say use POV, others say don't as that isn't for the writer to determine, and one said that writing POV fell out of favor since the hey day of the slasher genre in the 1980's. I also looked at some scripts, but unsure as some may be shooting scripts with POV added by someone else or the writer. Not sure if there is a clear answer on such a question or not. Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
 

Davy The First

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Can you clarify if you mean book (prose) form or script (screenplay) form?
 

cmeffa

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Sorry. In screenplay format. Sorry again. Thanks for reply.
 

Maryn

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MELISSA crouches inside a locker and looks out its vents.

Several FRAT BOYS slap each other's bodies with twisted towels.

FRAT BOY ONE
Hey, knock it off.

FRAT BOY TWO
Make me.

Frat Boy Two snaps his towel at Frat Boy One.

In the locker, Melissa uses her phone to record the roughhousing.

MELISSA
You Delts messed with the wrong girl.

Maryn, hoping this stupid example helps

Edit: You could also use an INT shot for each and note that it's to be intercut.

INT. METAL LOCKER - DAY

MELISSA crouches inside a locker and looks out its vents.

INT. LOCKER ROOM - DAY

Several FRAT BOYS slap each other's bodies with twisted towels.

INT. METAL LOCKER/INT. LOCKER ROOM (INTERCUT)

FRAT BOY ONE
Hey, knock it off.

FRAT BOY TWO
Make me.

Frat Boy Two snaps his towel at Frat Boy One.

In the locker, Melissa uses her phone to record the roughhousing.

MELISSA
You Delts messed with the wrong girl.
 
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cmeffa

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Thanks for the reply Maryn. I was wondering would this apply to a scene where someone is watching from a hidden room in a wall. I know my question sounds strange, it is just that I wasn't sure if the location is a hidden room would it be considered to be another 'location'? Thanks again for the reply and your example isn't stupid, it was helpful.
 

JJKHawaiian

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cmeffa, I would write as a separate location. Not anexpert and don't mean to butt in on Maryn.

-------------------------
int - hidden room - night

The stranger peering out from a hole in the wall in the hidden room looks to see what his prey is doing.
He realizes that his prey knows something is wrong, so he pulls back.

Cut to:

int- kitchen - night

Jack turns to look at Lisa.

Jack
Do you feel like we're being watched?
Lisa
Yes, and it's starting to freak me out. Let's go.
Jack
I have to find that book though.

Cut to:
-----------------
 
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Maryn

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I don't object to butting in with another option. I'm no expert. I just watched while people who knew their stuff answered questions.

Actually, I think either my edit or JJK's method would work quite nicely. My original is the poorest of the lot.

Maryn, with a melodramatic sigh
 

cmeffa

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Thanks you Maryn and JJKHawaian for the info. It is much appreciated.
 

Maryn

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You're very welcome, cmeffa.

Maryn, you're too hard on yourself.
Story of my life. I'm my own harshest critic in just about all matters.

I roomed with a girl from your city in college, a few eons back, at UofA. I bet it's grown and changed since those days.