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Thread: :e2fairy: Age and Virginity

  1. #26
    practical experience, FTW LJD's Avatar
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    I just thought I would mention a book with an older virgin heroine (she's twenty-seven) that I really liked: Taking the Heat by Victoria Dahl. I thought it was handled well.

  2. #27
    New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin
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    oh I'm not a doctor and given the reasons I have to ask questions about their sex lives or other invasive questions, I doubt they lie about being a virgin. Most people lie to reduce the number of people they've slept with as to avoid the slut-shamming. This I have seen occur far more often than not. I don't know if people who are virgins over the age of twenty-five are actually looked at as freak shows -I know I don't necessarily although generally I find the women that are are either 1) due to being very religious or 2) being from more countries like Japan where stricter traditions are followed. I've found even in countries like Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia, women are married early so aren't typically virgins when they are twenty-five. But that's just what I've notice in my profession and international work.

    But mainly I'm not particularly interested in the virgin trope or the I've-only-been-one-other-man-and-he-was-wretched-in-bed-and-thank-goodness-you-were-able-to-give-me-my-first-orgasam-ever, because I've read it so much. If I never read another romance with this trope, I would be internally grateful lol

  3. #28
    Friendly Neighborhood Mustelidae The Otter's Avatar
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    I don't think it's all that uncommon for people of either gender to be virgins well into their twenties. (Or maybe I've just known a disproportionate number because most of the people in my social circle are highly introverted.) The "adult woman who has somehow never had an orgasm and never even masturbated" trope bugs me a lot more.
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  4. #29
    practical experience, FTW Jan74's Avatar
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    Never having an orgasm I buy that one. Never masturbated...that seems far fetched.

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  5. #30
    Cultured vulture Albedo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twick View Post
    I'm sure there are a lot of young women who do feel inhibited about asking for birth control information. If I had been, I'd be very grateful for openness and acceptance. But I think many doctor's training has a tinge of "Everyone has sex! But many won't admit it on the first question, so you have to press them a bit."

    I'm not sure how a practitioner can best balance encouraging those fearful of condemnation versus believing what their clients tell them.
    This is very true. They drum it into us so much to make the patient's sexual history a standard part of the consult, the idea being to make it routine and shame-free, that sometimes we roll right over a *lack* of one. Hell, I'm asexual myself and I'm still regularly surprised at how little some people are having sex.

  6. #31
    practical experience, FTW Jan74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albedo View Post
    This is very true. They drum it into us so much to make the patient's sexual history a standard part of the consult, the idea being to make it routine and shame-free, that sometimes we roll right over a *lack* of one. Hell, I'm asexual myself and I'm still regularly surprised at how little some people are having sex.
    young women? or young teenagers? I actually think young women and teenagers today are far more bold and out there than my generation, I've watched my daughters generation and they are not shy.

    Maybe it's geographical? I'm not sure, but I would disagree that teens are reluctant to ask for birth control, they may not want to discuss their sexual history with a doctor or someone in the medical field one on one, but I don't think they are hesitant to ask for bcp, and teen pregnancy rates are down and this is due to birth control.

    "You fail only if you stop writing" ~Ray Bradbury~
    "The road to hell is paved with adverbs" ~Stephen King~
    WIP Romance or Women's fiction, hopefully by the end I'll know.
    "If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word." ~Margaret Atwood~
    "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." ~Mary Angelou~


  7. #32
    A seadog looking for crewmates Elenitsa's Avatar
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    I have met virgins of 30, 40 and even nearly 70 years old. They aren't the majority, of course, but they exist. There is religion at stake, there are deceptions in love, there is sacrifice for other family members or other reasons, depending on the case. Wanting to marry a virgin, and not having the opportunity to marry yet until x age (or, how it was the case for the nearly 70 years old, losing your fiance in an accident 2 weeks before wedding) might contribute to it.

    I don't mind when any of the characters is inexperienced. In historical fiction, it is quite the norm for young ladies...

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