Santa, the last of the wildmen

AW Amazon Store

If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.


 

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 89

Thread: My twitter feed is full of semi-woke men

  1. #1
    please distract me mccardey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Australia.
    Posts
    11,345

    My twitter feed is full of semi-woke men

    asking "Was that thing I did sexual harrassment?"

    Guys, if you're asking - yes it was.

  2. #2
    Just Another Lazy Perfectionist Brightdreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    5,460
    As a society in general, there's still too much emphasis on harassment being the victim's issue, and not enough on people recognizing harassment before they do it. It's always "don't wear the short skirt or you're asking for it" not "don't think a short skirt is an invitation." So you're going to get grown men who have to ask that question, because they never learned the difference and never thought to ask before all this came up; they just absorbed the cultural idea that it's "boys being boys" or "when girls say no they mean yes" or "it's not really harassment if I don't physically attack her" or "real men take what they want." We need to work on changing that, starting as young as possible...

    JMHO, and not intending to excuse harassment...
    - Brightdreamer
    Brightdreamer's Book Reviews

    "Inspiration will strike you, and leave you for dead. The police will do nothing."
    - from The Daily Humorscope

  3. #3
    Perpetually confused LittlePinto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,585
    Hopefully they'll change instead of doubling down.

  4. #4
    Cultured vulture Albedo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    This place is not a place of honor.
    Posts
    5,405
    I'm glad we found a way to make even THIS about us.

  5. #5
    please distract me mccardey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Australia.
    Posts
    11,345
    Quote Originally Posted by Albedo View Post
    I'm glad we found a way to make even THIS about us.
    What surprises me is how many of them really want - and expect - to be told, "No, no - you're fine. It wasn't." Because otherwise they'll feel bad.

    Feeling bad is probably appropriate. At any rate, it's a teachable moment.

    ETA: Although I feel compelled to add that it's weird that a grown man would need to be taught this sort of thing.
    Last edited by mccardey; 11-12-2017 at 02:10 AM.

  6. #6
    practical experience, FTW bombergirl69's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    1,462
    Apparently grown men need to be taught that it's not nice to masturbate in front of women (who are not consensual sex partners)

    http://www.vulture.com/2017/11/louis...-timeline.html
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by bombergirl69 View Post
    Apparently grown men need to be taught that it's not nice to masturbate in front of women (who are not consensual sex partners)

    http://www.vulture.com/2017/11/louis...-timeline.html
    Omg. I hear time in jail works well for that!

  8. #8
    People are not wearing enough hats JJ Litke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Austin
    Posts
    6,460
    Quote Originally Posted by mccardey View Post
    asking "Was that thing I did sexual harrassment?"

    Guys, if you're asking - yes it was.
    Also the guys protesting that men in general are being vilified and hey, I'm one of the good ones!

    If these stories are making you feel defensive, there's probably good reason for that, and you should be more closely examining your own behavior.
    The Invisible Box, Apex Magazine issue #92
    When the Planets Left
    , Cast of Wonders episode 210
    Harbinie of Death
    , Farstrider Magazine issue #2
    jjlitke.com

  9. #9
    down the rabbit hole of research... CWatts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    990
    Tiffany Haddish said it perfectly on SNL last night: "Men, if you've got your thing-thing out and she's got all her clothes on, you're wrong!"

  10. #10
    Hoopy frood JimmyB27's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    In the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy
    Posts
    5,494
    Quote Originally Posted by CWatts View Post
    Tiffany Haddish said it perfectly on SNL last night: "Men, if you've got your thing-thing out and she's got all her clothes on, you're wrong!"
    Unless you are a stripper...
    Destiny Deceived - Internet serial story. Written by one of the best writers I have ever been.

    "Having been an English literary graduate, I've been trying to avoid the idea of doing art ever since. I think the idea of art kills creativity. I think media are at their most interesting before anybody's thought of calling them art, when people still think they're just a load of junk"
    Douglas Adams

  11. #11
    practical experience, FTW cornflake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    13,873
    Quote Originally Posted by CWatts View Post
    Tiffany Haddish said it perfectly on SNL last night: "Men, if you've got your thing-thing out and she's got all her clothes on, you're wrong!"
    Was coming to post same. Cracked me up -- and such a simple rule.

    Quote Originally Posted by JimmyB27 View Post
    Unless you are a stripper...
    Yeah, no. Strippers don't get fully naked.

  12. #12
    People are not wearing enough hats JJ Litke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Austin
    Posts
    6,460
    Quote Originally Posted by JimmyB27 View Post
    Unless you are a stripper...
    Quote Originally Posted by cornflake View Post
    Yeah, no. Strippers don't get fully naked.
    Right, and strip clubs don't allow masturbation. If you can't meet the minimum standards in general public that a strip club expects you to follow, you're really doing something wrong.

    Also let's please not start slut-shaming by implying it's acceptable to denigrate or humiliate strippers.
    The Invisible Box, Apex Magazine issue #92
    When the Planets Left
    , Cast of Wonders episode 210
    Harbinie of Death
    , Farstrider Magazine issue #2
    jjlitke.com

  13. #13
    down the rabbit hole of research... CWatts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    990
    Quote Originally Posted by JJ Litke View Post
    Right, and strip clubs don't allow masturbation. If you can't meet the minimum standards in general public that a strip club expects you to follow, you're really doing something wrong.
    Once more for the people in the back!

    I agree we shouldn't slut-shame strippers. Note also that strippers have bouncers, bartenders and waitstaff looking out for them. It's a shame that comediennes don't have that kind of protection - and that they need it.
    Last edited by CWatts; 11-12-2017 at 10:46 PM.

  14. #14
    practical experience, FTW bombergirl69's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    1,462
    Quote Originally Posted by CWatts View Post
    ... and that they need it.
    That is the REALLY crazy part! Some men are acting like not masturbating in front of colleagues (who are not consensual sex partners)/in public, or refraining from grinding their crotches into some womens' shoulder/ or not masturbating into potted plants is like...some highly nuanced, very complex behavioral standard. Seriously? Is this what they learn at home?
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

  15. #15
    Beastly Fido Roxxsmom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Lost in space. And meaning.
    Posts
    16,060
    Quote Originally Posted by bombergirl69 View Post
    That is the REALLY crazy part! Some men are acting like not masturbating in front of colleagues (who are not consensual sex partners)/in public, or refraining from grinding their crotches into some womens' shoulder/ or not masturbating into potted plants is like...some highly nuanced, very complex behavioral standard. Seriously? Is this what they learn at home?
    Wow, Johnny! You went a whole day without exposing yourself to someone and whacking off. Have a cookie.

    Seriously, I do remember this approach being used with some "troublesome" little boys in grade school. Not re whacking off, but they'd be praised and rewarded for going a whole day without kicking or hitting someone or for going a whole day without being otherwise a jerk. "Bobby has been sooooo good today we're going to let him choose the book I read to the class after lunch," and so on.

    I imagine this does teach some boys that simply behaving normally (by restraining their little ids in an age-appropriate manner) is amazingly laudatory. Note, this may have ticked off the boys in my class who generally behaved well as much as it did the girls.
    Last edited by Roxxsmom; 11-12-2017 at 11:54 PM.
    Please excuse me, I was raised by wolves.

    My twitter - My FB - My blog

  16. #16
    down the rabbit hole of research... CWatts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    990
    Quote Originally Posted by Roxxsmom View Post
    Wow, Johnny! You went a whole day without exposing yourself to someone and whacking off. Have a cookie.

    Seriously, I do remember this approach being used with some "troublesome" little boys in grade school. Not re whacking off, but they'd be praised and rewarded for going a whole day without kicking or hitting someone or for going a whole day without being otherwise a jerk. "Bobby has been sooooo good today we're going to let him choose the book I read to the class after lunch," and so on.

    I imagine this does teach some boys that simply behaving normally (by restraining their little ids in an age-appropriate manner) is amazingly laudatory. Note, this may have ticked off the boys in my class who generally behaved well as much as it did the girls.
    "Donny, you made it another week without starting a nuclear war! Go play another round of golf."

    (May need to be revoked due to that latest North Korea tweet....)

  17. #17
    please distract me mccardey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Australia.
    Posts
    11,345
    Quote Originally Posted by CWatts View Post
    "Donny, you made it another week without starting a nuclear war! Go play another round of golf."
    We're not letting Donald play games with sticks any more because people get hurt. But here's a star for his Good Behaviour Chart.

  18. #18
    AW's resident Velociraptor ShaunHorton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    3,306
    Quote Originally Posted by JJ Litke View Post
    Right, and strip clubs don't allow masturbation. If you can't meet the minimum standards in general public that a strip club expects you to follow, you're really doing something wrong.
    I was about to share this on my twitter, but then I realized that strip clubs DO allow cat calls and some pretty disgusting language. So I think that bar is still too low.
    My weekly blog
    My Amazon Author Page
    Twitter
    Facebook

    It's out! Hannah is finally out of my hands and on Amazon!

    "Is there something seriously wrong with you?"
    "Well, yeah, but that's kind of the point."

  19. #19
    Beastly Fido Roxxsmom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Lost in space. And meaning.
    Posts
    16,060
    Okay, now I have an image of a sort of Simpsonesque scene (like the one where Bart is doing lines on the board in the opening credits). A boy (or man) writing, "No one wants to see your penis" 100 times.
    Please excuse me, I was raised by wolves.

    My twitter - My FB - My blog

  20. #20
    please distract me mccardey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Australia.
    Posts
    11,345
    Quote Originally Posted by Roxxsmom View Post
    Okay, now I have an image of a sort of Simpsonesque scene (like the one where Bart is doing lines on the board in the opening credits). A boy (or man) writing, "No one wants to see your penis" 100 times.



    That was wonderful

  21. #21
    People are not wearing enough hats JJ Litke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Austin
    Posts
    6,460
    Quote Originally Posted by ShaunHorton View Post
    I was about to share this on my twitter, but then I realized that strip clubs DO allow cat calls and some pretty disgusting language. So I think that bar is still too low.
    Yes, agreed. I didn't mean to imply that was where the bar should be set, just that omg even a strip club expects you to act better than some of these guys are managing.
    The Invisible Box, Apex Magazine issue #92
    When the Planets Left
    , Cast of Wonders episode 210
    Harbinie of Death
    , Farstrider Magazine issue #2
    jjlitke.com

  22. #22
    People are not wearing enough hats JJ Litke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Austin
    Posts
    6,460
    FYI, guys, don't send women passive-aggressive rep messages, especially in a thread like this. It's really tone-deaf.
    The Invisible Box, Apex Magazine issue #92
    When the Planets Left
    , Cast of Wonders episode 210
    Harbinie of Death
    , Farstrider Magazine issue #2
    jjlitke.com

  23. #23
    practical experience, FTW Tazlima's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    1,998
    As frustrating as it is to see guys who managed to reach adulthood (and older) without realizing something so simple, I figure better late than never. As Maya Angelou said (paraphrasing from memory), "I did the best I could with what I knew, and when I learned better, I did better."

    We all muddle through life as best we can. These guys can't change the past, but they can change their behavior moving forward, and that's a massive step in the right direction. Is it frustrating that they're only figuring it out now? Of course, but people have a massive blind spot to their own lived experiences.

    When I was five, my 12 year old neighbor tried to rape me. His younger brother caught him in the act, dragged him off of me before he got my clothes iff, and told me to run home and tell my mom what had happened.

    At five, I thought he wanted a horsey ride and was just doing it wrong.

    Years passed. I learned about sex and rape on a typical timetable. I read Clan of the Cave Bear at, oh 12 or 13, and I understood exactly what was going on in the rape scenes, so I learned the concept at some point prior . However, I was sixteen when it finally hit me.... "holy crap! He was trying to rape me!" Somehow I went years without putting two and two together.

  24. #24
    please distract me mccardey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Australia.
    Posts
    11,345
    Quote Originally Posted by Tazlima View Post
    As frustrating as it is to see guys who managed to reach adulthood (and older) without realizing something so simple, I figure better late than never.
    This is fine, but I just think they shouldn't be awarded a penis till they can be trusted to manage it.

  25. #25
    practical experience, FTW Tazlima's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    1,998
    Quote Originally Posted by mccardey View Post
    This is fine, but I just think they shouldn't be awarded a penis till they can be trusted to manage it.
    *Snerk!*

    This made my whole day.
    "One of the hardest things to do, I think, is learn to trust your own creativity." - Ambrosia

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search