Ruin Thanksgiving in four words.

Whose teeth are these?

"Is your book done?"

(*cue internal screaming*)

thereeness said:

"Is your book done?"

(*cue internal screaming*)

Click to expand...

Are you published yet?

"You HAVE to come!"

- - - Updated - - -

Uncle Jack is cooking

Yes, it's oyster stuffing

Smoked turkey takes longer

Frying turkey is quicker

Call the fire department

And once when I cooked for Thanksgiving:

There's alcohol in everything

Let's go to Seclusion's.

"You have kidney stones."

True story.

That's my pet turkey!

Cindyt said:

That's my pet turkey!

Click to expand...

DADDYYY! MOMMY COOKED GOBBLES!

I have the Flu

Lauram6123 said:

Are you published yet?

Click to expand...

I do have a true story on that; was over at my brother's for one Thanksgiving, his daughter had just graduated valedictorian from high school and had one of those whiny, smart-alek attitudes. I was in the middle of sending out my second novel to publishers. Of course, she just had to ask me,"well, why aren't you published yet?" Of course it was the way she said it. I just grinned and told her i was working on it. I tried my best to ignore her.

Best in Show: Poodle.

Lauram6123 said:

Are you published yet?

Click to expand...

Why aren't you published?

Mommy, this tastes funny.

"Writing books ain't hard!"

"Writing's such a waste."

"Try being more constructive."

Grandma broke her hip.

"Well, officer, you see..."
"Don't touch that switch..."
"Forecast today, blizzard conditions..."
"What, no pumpkin pie?"
"Thanksgiving is black Thursday!"

Do you smell smoke?
I got a Tofurkey!

Where are my dentures?

Wait... you have allergies?

The power is out.

So said my mother when she came in while I was getting dressed Thanksgiving morning around 30 years ago. We had digital phones, which don't work without electricity. I had kept an old trimline phone for just such an occurrence, with the power company emergency number on a sticky note on the handset.

The young sounding girl at the power company said someone had hit some kind of relay box and they were having to replace several of them along my street. They didn't know how long it would take. She said I must be going to someone else's house for dinner, since I sounded so calm. I said, no, there will be about 25 people here. But the turkey is already cooked, and my mother brought the pies. Worst case, we have cold turkey sandwiches on dinner rolls and pie. My relatives wouldn't have cared. But they did in fact have it fixed in time to make the gravy and dressing and mashed potatoes.

MM

30 Days Until Christmas

This meat's partially raw.

OM NOM NOM NOM!

I burnt the turkey.