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How to show Embarassment?

JDlugosz

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Writing "She was embarrassed" is a typical case of telling rather than telling.

How does a character show embarrassment and that she is flustered, before rushing away?

For the POV character, I can include inner monologue as well as simply knowing how she feels.

My sketch of the scene:


She’s wearing heavy winter clothes; it was noted earlier that only her face shows. But she has taken off her gloves since.

…but her arms reached up to his neck automatically and drew him into the kiss.

For a moment, her problems, the cold, her poor mood, all vanished and there was only that moment.

She let him go, and was suddenly embarrassed. “I have to go.” She took the empty pouch and made a bee-line for the door, and let herself out before he could open it for her.​

BTW, in my document I use a rust-color for "sketch", basically just dumping the idea without developing the writing. It is more than an outline and may contain dialog that I keep, etc. It's essentially the innermost level of an outline.
 
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BethS

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Flushing face. Breaking into a sweat. Avoiding eye contact. Mumbling.
 

Carrie in PA

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Picking at her fingernails. Twisting the hem of her shirt. Covering her face with her hand. Eyes widened as soon as she said X. Stammering. Over-explaining. Or clamming up.
 

Tazlima

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There are loads of ways. In dialogue, you can write her response as halting, stammered, or trying (badly) to change the subject, with or without physical cues.

A few silly examples off the top of my head:

"Did you eat the last piece of candy?"
"Yea..no.. I... I like potato chips!" She dashed away.


"Did you eat the last piece of candy?"
"........ um...." She dashed away.


"Did you eat the last piece of candy?"
She flushed, her eyes darting around the room until they landed on the empty hamper. "Oh, dangit, you forgot to get the clothes out of the dryer again, and you KNOW Mr. Lindon likes to dump them on the floor. I'll get it." She dashed away.


"Did you eat the last piece of candy?"
"Are you calling me fat? Oh, God. I AM fat aren't I? I mean, I've put on a few pounds lately, but I didn't think it was that noticeable."
"No, I was just asking..."
"I can't talk to you right now." She dashed away.


The reaction would, of course, depend on how that particular character would respond in that particular situation, but you can have a lot of fun with stuff like this.
 
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Questioner

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Some examples of hints that this character is feeling embarrassed could be blushing, avoiding eye contact, beginning to sweat without it making any sense to other characters.
 

MaeZe

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First person narrative my protagonist's cheeks warm (because she can't see that they are red), she looks away, and sometimes tries to hide her face.
 

Poetical Gore

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First person narrative my protagonist's cheeks warm (because she can't see that they are red), she looks away, and sometimes tries to hide her face.

well, have her go look in the mirror quick and she can see them.
 

rwm4768

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Her face flushed, and she sank against the wall, looking as if she wanted to go right through it.

Edit: If it's in her point of view, maybe something like:

Her cheeks burned, and she wanted to hide her face, or maybe fade into the wall and disappear altogether.


There are all kinds of ways you can go about it.
 
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Jan74

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you don't have to "show" everything, its perfectly ok to say she was embarrassed, but if its something you really want to show then embarrassment tends to be internal and most people don't show outward signs of it, however classic signs of embarrassment are flushed cheeks, fidgeting, and fast talking, although these are all classic signs of nervousness too. When I'm embarrassed I become quiet and in-drawn and my heart races.
 

BLMN

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I think your instincts are good. 'She was embarrassed' would be the less professional way. She could hide her head in his chest until her pulse lined out. And the ones everyone else mentioned, particularly the lack of eye contact. Good luck.
 

Cyia

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A sudden flush of heat to the cheeks, especially in the cold, would be a dead giveaway that she's embarrassed.
 

Helix

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I think your instincts are good. 'She was embarrassed' would be the less professional way. She could hide her head in his chest until her pulse lined out. And the ones everyone else mentioned, particularly the lack of eye contact. Good luck.

It's neither more or less professional than the alternatives. Telling can be a perfectly serviceable way of dealing with some parts of narrative. It depends on what's required.
 

MythMonger

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Why is she embarrassed? Is it from the reaction of the man she just kissed, the reaction of the people around her, or just because she doesn't normally act that way? All three? Other? :)

Knowing the source of her emotion could be key.
 

JDlugosz

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Why is she embarrassed? Is it from the reaction of the man she just kissed, the reaction of the people around her, or just because she doesn't normally act that way? All three? Other? :)

Knowing the source of her emotion could be key.

Nobody else is around.

I didn't say in the excerpt that it's a miseltoe meeting. She's looking up to try to spot it, accidently tips her head up and turns toward him just as he approaches, and it’s directly over her. What's he supposed to think?

She has low self esteem due to a disfiguring scar, which is not revealed to the reader yet but it is foreshadowed that her interactions with others are normally unpleasant (this guy being a refreshing exception). People, even polite adults, turn away from looking at her. Through high school, kids were openly cruel.

She’s attracted to him, but has very little experience in such situations because of her appearance and being completely left out until finishing high school.

So, being cold weather, I’m leaning toward feeling impossibly hot (neck, face, ears), and internal “what am I doing?” thoughts.
 

BethS

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Sometimes you can have another character say something about the POV character's embarrassment, relieving you of the task of having to describe it.
 

sideshowdarb

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Just pure two cents - if this is the case:

She has low self esteem due to a disfiguring scar

Might her embarrassed reaction be covering the scar? I don't know where it is, or how large or how disfiguring it is, but I imagine she probably has a habit of trying to minimize it. I would think she has a very ingrained, default behavior when it comes to her scar.
 

BLMN

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Ooh, ooh, ooh ... a scar ... I love it. You have loads of thoughts on the embarrassment thing but what about foreshadowing. 'She covered her cheek with her hand. Period. No explanation just inserted in the action. Do it a couple of times in your story and then when you finally reveal the scar the reader says, "Oh, so that's why she does that.'
I'm addicted to words. Your hidden scar was my fix today.
 

BLMN

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It's neither more or less professional than the alternatives. Telling can be a perfectly serviceable way of dealing with some parts of narrative. It depends on what's required.

True, exceedingly poor choice of words on my part. We have a limited context here so it's hard to judge balance.
 

Devil Ledbetter

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Write a scene where the reader can understand and relate to the character's embarrassment. If the reader already knows the character, she's going to know her shame triggers.

When I wrote about a character finding out from a loud health clinic nurse in a cubicle that she had an STD, and the nurse went on to instruct her to inform all of her partners (as though she had many), I didn't need to include squat about the character's cheeks flushing hot or her stammering or whatever. Nope. Write a situation that makes your reader cringe with sympathetic embarrassment and you'll never have two write the words cringed with embarrassment or cheeks flushed hot with shame.

Make the reader feel it.

JMO, YMMV.
 

Roxxsmom

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Looking at your excerpt, I have no idea why she's suddenly embarrassed, since she seemed to happy to kiss him a moment before. Maybe there's some context there I don't understand, but I think following her thought process might be helpful. Something like:

She leaned into the kiss, the heat of their bodies melting together like sugar and cream. All the reasons this was such a bad idea disappeared, but only for a single heartbeat. Her body stiffened and she pulled away, face burning. "We can't do this. Not again." She averted her eyes, avoiding his puppylike expression of hurt confusion. What kind of idiot went back for more when she'd been burned once already?

This is just made up, and somewhat awkwardly written. It probably isn't anything like your character's reason for being embarrassed by the embrace. But that's the point. There are a hundred different reasons, and simply telling the reader she's embarrassed loses the uniqueness of your character's situation.
 
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