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Thread: Noises

  1. #1
    practical experience, FTW
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    Noises

    How do you describe the noises she makes with her voice?

  2. #2
    Moderator AW Moderator Maryn's Avatar
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    Often the best solution is to simply find the adjectives that best describe the sound, or find the perfect noun. One of those subject-indexed thesauruses, the huge ones, can lead you to some interesting words and phrases.

    Optionally, the author can have all the characters use their words rather than make wordless sounds that have meaning but are difficult to convey.

    If you're unsure how to handle it, the obvious solution is to purchase and read more erotic fiction to see how other authors handle what you're having trouble with.

    Maryn
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  3. #3
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    “Describe the sound” by any means is Telling not Showing. Something like “She moaned” is more deep POV even though the description is generic.

  4. #4
    I want one for Christmas!! VV c.m.n.'s Avatar
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    Using verbs like moan is describing the sound. Moaned loudly is using the adjective, because just using moaned, no one knows if she said it softly or loudly. Rules can be broken, IMO.

    I, personally, like the characters to use their words followed by an action (though I need to do this more in my writing).

    Something like: "Mmm, God that feels good." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Do it again."

    My example is generic, but gets the point across.

  5. #5
    practical experience, FTW Noizchild's Avatar
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    I don't know. I need to try and learn how to make it better and realistic.
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  6. #6
    All about that action, boss. ElaineA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JDlugosz View Post
    “Describe the sound” by any means is Telling not Showing. Something like “She moaned” is more deep POV even though the description is generic.
    I don't think Maryn is saying describe the actual sound. I shouldn't speak for her, but I don't think she's advocating describing sound in ways that will make a woman come across sounding like a lady moose being boned. I think she's suggesting there are different sorts of sounds, like gasped, moaned, demanded, groaned. Any sexually active adult has heard a variety of noises, so being somewhat generic here is okay. Allow the readers to "hear" for themselves. One person's groan may not sound like another's, and that's okay.

  7. #7
    practical experience, FTW CaliforniaMelanie's Avatar
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    What about "...she groaned" (for example) as her relating to the other character? Like "Yes...right there," she groaned.

    Thoughts?

  8. #8
    Moderator AW Moderator Maryn's Avatar
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    I'm fully reformed. I used to allow characters to moan words, groan words, laugh words, etc. but finally decided I didn't like it. Now I change the groan part to an action, i.e., "Yes... right there." She groaned.

    But she groaned after she spoke.

    And I have a very hard spot in my heart for people who use words that cannot possibly be part of spoken words as dialogue tags. "Yes... right there," she smiled.
    "I've never had to fake sarcasm."

    Brick by Brick, a ménage à trois novel (soon to be re-released)
    Taming the Wilde, FemDom spotted--and striped--in the wild
    Men in Love, anthology about--hey, you're already there, aren't you?
    Maryn Says, an irregular blog almost never about writing
    The Occasional Tweet

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