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Thread: The World

  1. #1
    New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    1

    The World

    I dreamed the World welcomed me with open arms,
    It welcomed me into the fold and embraced what I brought,
    The World told me I was special and I could do no wrong,
    It told me what lies ahead in the future,
    I would be one of the best and brightest,
    The World would make it impossible to ignore me,
    It would crusade my cause wanting nothing,

    I woke up realizing the World has more than 7 billion other people on it,
    It didn’t care about me and whatever I did didn’t matter,
    The World has better things to do than watch me struggle,

    I still don’t understand I don’t need the World to tell me that,
    It wouldn’t do me any good to cry about it,
    The World is a big place and I’m small,
    But all that means is I’ll have to grow bigger



    I wrote this poem after getting back home from work last night. It hurt not to see any reception positive or negative for my debut as a writer, and so in my angst I wrote this. Thank you for reading.

  2. #2
    figuring it all out
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Devon UK
    Posts
    70
    I find it odd that no one has taken the time to comment on this. I mean it needs work, mainly getting rid of words. Some say that every word needs to carry its own weight and in this that is not the case. But there is a poem hiding in there. Strip it down, get rid of everything but the very core of your idea.

  3. #3
    New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    8
    I really like this; It does reflect what i feel about the world sometimes after a long day. The end speaks to me as well, and is what I believe to be universally true.

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