A married woman. A younger man who thinks she's exquisite.

AlexP

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Romance is the biggest genre. I read somewhere that older, married women make up most of the readership. Yet, most romances I read feature young, single women lusting after hunky, moody billionaires who are barely 30.

I'm wondering...

Wouldn't these women prefer to read about characters whose lives resonate with their own? How do you think a novel would fare that features a thirty- or forty-something woman who works hard all day, takes care of her kids, has an emotionally unavailable husband, and who meets a slightly younger, passionate artist/musician/writer who finds her to be an exquisite, irresistible muse?

Isn't that more of a mature and enduring female fantasy -- and one that often eludes older, married women?

Would it be a non-starter because of the adultery?
 

Cyia

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Go to google. Now, read the romances you find that fit "older woman with younger man."

Or, just watch How Stella Got Her Groove Back.

(Incidentally, you've just described one reason that vampire / supernatural romances are so popular. The men *are* older, but they don't look it.)
 

AlexP

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But Stella wasn't married. Neither are most of the older woman/younger man stories.
 

Cyia

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It's going to depend in great part on how you present the woman and her marriage.

One of the most common expectations with romance is HEA (happily ever after), so who's your lady's true love? Is the artist dude a homewrecker? Is she considering leaving her family for him? Is the husband a jerk or just a workaholic who thinks he's providing for his family?

You've got a lot of potential plot-mines to sidestep with this set-up.
 

Marian Perera

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Wouldn't these women prefer to read about characters whose lives resonate with their own?

Personally, no. I read romance for the escapism of it.

This is not to say that I won't read romances with older heroines, or with heroes who are working-class. But if the romance ever gets too close to real life, it's not going to be as much fun for me.

Would it be a non-starter because of the adultery?

I suggest you read popular romances that involve adultery and see how those authors handle it.
 

CWatts

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Couldn't she as easily be divorced? Or at least separated - maybe her husband was already cheating?
 

AlexP

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Yes, she could be divorced or separated, but then there's no obstacle. Every great love story is about two people who long to be together, but something stands in the way.

In this case, there's mystery. Will she find her HEA after with the man who thinks she's a goddess? Will her passionless husband come to see his wife the way her lover does and reform himself? Is the husband cheating, too, and the married couple both learn to love each other passionately again?

I realize all of this stuff has been done before. I guess I'm just wondering if adultery is just too icky for most readers -- even if many of them hold adulterous fantasies themselves.
 

Marissa D

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Obstacles can be internal as well as external. And an external obstacle can be something along the lines of, "will my family/society be able to deal with this relationship."

Adultery is generally frowned on by a lot of readers of romance, which is why, if you wanted to keep the husband in the picture rather than having her be a widow or divorced, I suggested writing this as women's fiction rather than trying to sell it as romance.
 

frimble3

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Yes, she could be divorced or separated, but then there's no obstacle. Every great love story is about two people who long to be together, but something stands in the way.


How do you think a novel would fare that features a thirty- or forty-something woman who works hard all day, takes care of her kids, husband who died, and who meets a slightly younger, passionate artist/musician/writer who finds her to be an exquisite, irresistible muse?
I can see lots of obstacles. First, she's busy, so she has to find the time to meet this guy, date, etc.
Then there's her children. How old are they? Are they resentful of the daddy replacement? Are they so eager to have a new father that they're freaking him out?
Her in-laws, how do they feel about their son being replaced by some young guy and possibly losing contact with their grandchildren?
His parents: how to they feel about their son taking up with an older woman who already has children?
His and her friends, what do they think, and how vocal are they? Are they accepting, eager, mocking?
Their respective lives, what are the similarities, the differences, the conflicts?
Lots of conflict before you even add in his old girlfriend who doesn't like losing.
 

lonestarlibrarian

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Because it's escapist, you want to be careful about making it too relatable in an unhealthy way. For example, out of your readers, there are few people who are going to have a friend in their circle who's been pursued by a rock star, wooed by a billionaire, or who has run off to marry a duke.

However, there are probably people who know people who have abandoned their children because they want to keep partying like they're 20, and have dealt firsthand with picking up the pieces that got left behind-- the "why did mommy leave" and "who's going to take care of them" and "what's wrong with me?" There are probably people who have dealt with the repercussions of infidelity-- the broken trust, the STD's, the chronic deceit, the financial stress.

Older woman + younger man is perfectly fine. But older woman who rationalizes discarding her husband (emotionally unavailable or not) and her children (needy or not) in order to pursue a romance with an artistic/creative type is likely going to be seen as weak and/or selfish, because so many people know people like that IRL, and it tends towards the tawdry, not the romantic. Because it's escapist, you want to minimize the obstacles towards your reader projecting onto/identifying with the main character.
 

Roxxsmom

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Personally, no. I read romance for the escapism of it.

This is not to say that I won't read romances with older heroines, or with heroes who are working-class. But if the romance ever gets too close to real life, it's not going to be as much fun for me.


This exactly.

Mind you, I'd love to see more romances where the woman is a bit older and it's not her first-ever love that turns out to be the true one, and I'd like to see some ones where younger men find women who are older than them appealing and it ends in HEA. There are some out there, but there could always be more. This isn't because I can't relate to a younger protagonist, but simply because women over a certain age seem to be almost invisible in books, movies, television etc., unless they're portrayed as the mother or grandmother of the protagonist. It's a type of erasure.

But I don't really want, specifically, to read a romance about a middle-aged community college biology instructor as the FMC. I'm living that life already, thank you very much (and I'm actually very happy with my husband and have no escapist fantasies about leaving him).

When I read stories (and not just romances, but any genre), I'm not really looking for protagonists who could be replaced by me with little change in their personality or circumstances. I'm maybe looking for other people with other lives I can escape into being for a while. Not because my life sucks, but because it's fun to get inside someone else's skin for a while.

I suggest you read popular romances that involve adultery and see how those authors handle it.

Also good advice that carries over to people who want to write in any genre or to any demographic.
 
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AlexP

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Thank you all! Lots of great insights.

Can anyone recommend a book where the heroine is married and the hero is not?

The only one I can readily think of is The Bridges of Madison County -- a beautiful book, IMO.
 

Roxxsmom

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Thank you all! Lots of great insights.

Can anyone recommend a book where the heroine is married and the hero is not?

The only one I can readily think of is The Bridges of Madison County -- a beautiful book, IMO.

Two books I recall involving a married woman having an affair are Wifey and Diary of a Mad Housewife. Neither of these would count as genre romances, however, because the protagonist stays with her uptight, jerkwad husband, mostly for the sake of the kids, but the affair changes the way she sees things and the way the husband sees her. There's also Fear of Flying by Erica Jong. These are all older books, though, that have been out for a long time. They may take an approach that wouldn't work as well today. I don't think they specifically deal with younger guys. I know with Wifey, the protagonist has an affair with her high school (or is it college) sweet heart.

There's Galbadon's Outlander novels, of course.

This goodreads list might be a good way to get started. Note that Goodreads lists can be hit or miss, and some of the books on it might not be proper genre romances, or even contain the element they are supposed to.

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/14390.Best_Older_woman_Younger_man_romance
 
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Marian Perera

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Older woman + younger man is perfectly fine. But older woman who rationalizes discarding her husband (emotionally unavailable or not) and her children (needy or not) in order to pursue a romance with an artistic/creative type is likely going to be seen as weak and/or selfish, because so many people know people like that IRL, and it tends towards the tawdry, not the romantic.

This. I've read older woman/younger man romances like Pamela Morsi's Wild Oats and Lavyrle Spencer's Family Blessings. In both of these, the heroine was married before she met the hero. But in neither of those did she abandon her husband. And in romance, you'll need more than "her husband is emotionally unavailable" to make readers sympathize with a woman who cheats. Especially if there are children who will be deeply affected by what she does.

When I watched Titanic, where the heroine leaves her abusive fiance for a passionate young artist, I remember wondering what kind of future these two would have together, especially since she was obviously used to a certain quality of life and he seemed the feckless type who'd be quite happy busking on street corners and sleeping under bridges. The film took a third option (not to mention the sensible way out) and killed him off, freeing her to be all that she could be. Of course, this isn't a romance, but maybe this is one reason the fantasy of abandoning a secure life for a passionate young creative type - and having this all end happily, which defines romance - doesn't really appeal to me.
 
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Jeneral

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If most of the romances you read "feature young, single women lusting after hunky, moody billionaires who are barely 30" then I suggest you read more romances. There are lots of different stories out there with lots of different kinds of characters. A lot of people have mentioned that they read romance for the escapism, and I agree. I'm reminded of the old Seinfeld joke against the "to be continued" convention on TV that went something like "If I want a long boring story with no point to it, I have my life." We read romances to get away from the everyday life.

Cheating is a big no-no for readers (and writers) of romance. I'm sure it exists here and there, but it's definitely a turn-off for me and a lot of people I know.

All that said, I am all for more stories about the older-than-conventional, divorced heroine finding her true HEA the second time around. That's happened to a couple of my friends in real life now and I'd love to see that represented more in romance. I think it's starting to become more of a thing.
 

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When I watched Titanic, where the heroine leaves her abusive fiance for a passionate young artist, I remember wondering what kind of future these two would have together, especially since she was obviously used to a certain quality of life and he seemed the feckless type who'd be quite happy busking on street corners and sleeping under bridges. The film took a third option (not to mention the sensible way out) and killed him off, freeing her to be all that she could be. Of course, this isn't a romance, but maybe this is one reason the fantasy of abandoning a secure life for a passionate young creative type - and having this all end happily, which defines romance - doesn't really appeal to me.

Got that right! I was wondering how long it would be before Rose would be fed up to the back teeth with living rough. Yeah, it trumps being assaulted by your demented fiance, but man, I could see her lunging at Jack one day when he squanders all their cash on pastels. :)
 

edutton

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And an external obstacle can be something along the lines of, "will my family/society be able to deal with this relationship."
That can also be an internal obstacle! My mother remarried when I was 13, to a man 9 years older than me... she had plenty of angst over that very question.

(They're still going strong, close to 40 years later.)
 

ElaineA

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When I watched Titanic, where the heroine leaves her abusive fiance for a passionate young artist, I remember wondering what kind of future these two would have together, especially since she was obviously used to a certain quality of life and he seemed the feckless type who'd be quite happy busking on street corners and sleeping under bridges.

And now we know why she didn't scoot over on that door that was OBVIOUSLY big enough for both of them! Rose knew, oh, yes, she did. :tongue
 

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Why not just write it as a different genre?

Makes me think of the beginning part of the movie Unfaithful, which goes a different direction and is nothing like romances. You can write it however you want, but I don't think most readers want adultery presented in a positive, turns- out-great way.
 

CJSimone

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ElaineA, your post made me laugh. ;)

Marian and MerriTudor, no, lol, I like Rose as someone who genuinely doesn't care about money, and just wants her freedom and someone she enjoys being with. :)
 
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tiddlywinks

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If most of the romances you read "feature young, single women lusting after hunky, moody billionaires who are barely 30" then I suggest you read more romances. There are lots of different stories out there with lots of different kinds of characters. <snip>

Cheating is a big no-no for readers (and writers) of romance. I'm sure it exists here and there, but it's definitely a turn-off for me and a lot of people I know.

^ Ditto. There are so many subgenres of romance; billionaire romance is just one category. That's like saying most fantasy features a wizard leading a band of peeps on a quest to save the world from the evil villain who wants to rule the world with one ring / one stone / one ostrich. (Okay, so maybe I made the ostrich up. But I'd totally read that.)

Data point: as an avid reader of romance, adultery would be a big ole "nope" for me.
 

yoghurtelf

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Yep, there was another discussion on here about adultery and most said it would be a NOPE. It would be for me too.

Now breaking it off with an asshole and THEN getting steamy is fine with me šŸ˜Š The key requirement being the original couple breaking up first.

I'm fine with it being a 30s/40s age focus too.