- Joined
- Sep 22, 2017
- Messages
- 273
- Reaction score
- 14
I’m new to AW, and before I start asking for help or discussion on new work, I thought I’d share something I’ve written.
This will be 23 years old in a fortnight. It speaks of a long-distance relationship, and the theme is that knowing someone is done with the mind and communication in general. Transcendentalism refers to the way I learned it in The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail. There was a meta-level to this as well, since the boat ride on which he explained things (hand in the water, can you feel the bottom? But you know it's there) was itself acted out on an empty stage with minimal set such as a cardboard box for the boat.
I mention the age because the communication medium references in the first stanza are dated. Oh, and the third line is a reference to an earlier poem, Phosphor Dots, on similar themes but at the very beginning of a friendship.
This will be 23 years old in a fortnight. It speaks of a long-distance relationship, and the theme is that knowing someone is done with the mind and communication in general. Transcendentalism refers to the way I learned it in The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail. There was a meta-level to this as well, since the boat ride on which he explained things (hand in the water, can you feel the bottom? But you know it's there) was itself acted out on an empty stage with minimal set such as a cardboard box for the boat.
I mention the age because the communication medium references in the first stanza are dated. Oh, and the third line is a reference to an earlier poem, Phosphor Dots, on similar themes but at the very beginning of a friendship.
When I caress the keys with loving hands
I reach to you across the modem line.
The phosphor dots glow bright upon my screen;
I touch you with my words, not with my skin.
You wrap your mind around my own and feel
The warmth and caring that two people share.
Affection goes beyond a real hug;
I reach you with my thoughts, not with my touch.
The gap between us never stands between
Our sharing, caring, passion that we feel.
The two of us together yet apart;
I hold you in my mind, not in my arms.
The bond that joins us has no breaking point.
I love you with my heart and all my soul.
I reach to you across the modem line.
The phosphor dots glow bright upon my screen;
I touch you with my words, not with my skin.
You wrap your mind around my own and feel
The warmth and caring that two people share.
Affection goes beyond a real hug;
I reach you with my thoughts, not with my touch.
The gap between us never stands between
Our sharing, caring, passion that we feel.
The two of us together yet apart;
I hold you in my mind, not in my arms.
The bond that joins us has no breaking point.
I love you with my heart and all my soul.
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