I've seen a lot of people saying you should always delete the word "was," and it's getting confusing

gbhike

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I've seen a lot of people saying you should always delete the word "was," and it's getting confusing

I've seen more than a fair share of posts, forums and websites encouraging you to kill any form of the word "to be," including the word "was."

I did a quick search and found the word "was" more than 700 times in my completed first draft.

I started to run through them and try to figure out how to cut or change them, because everyone online wants to burn that word at the stake.

But sometimes it's harder than other times to get rid of it. And most of the time, in my manuscript anyway, I find that changing it would result in an incredibly awkward sentence.

Example 1:

"He was running down the street."

This is totally obvious because you can just change it to "He ran/sprinted down the street." I totally get this, and these are easy fixes.

Example 2:

"The bear's claws dug deep into his back. This was it. It was all over."


What the hell would I do with this? If I followed the advice of some people online, they would have me re-write that sentence to: "The bear's claws dug deep into the man's back. A sense of foreboding pulsed through his veins. His stomach churned. Imaginary shapes began to dance in front of his eyes as the pine trees began to go blurry around him. Death began to rear its ugly head as Smith's heart threatened to beat out of his chest."

I mean, I get it. Show don't tell, etc. etc. But if I go back and change every instance of "was" to an an elaborate paragraph of prose, my novel is gonna be 300,000 words. Turning one sentence into four just to get rid of the word "was" seems a bit extreme.

Example 3:

"Still, the thought of being trapped outside of town for the night, or even for a couple of hours, was about the least inviting thing he could think of."


What if something literally *is* something else, and that's what you are trying to say? Rose was his cousin. It was an invitation. The plastic on the headlight was cracked.


Long story short, I went back through and looked at all of the instances of "was" in my manuscript, and it seems like at least two-thirds of them couldn't be changed without it sounding completely ridiculous. Is there something I am missing, or is the word "was" not really as big of a deal as people say because it's so prevalent in common language? Thanks.
 

mccardey

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In writing advice it's a good thing to mentally change the word 'rule' to 'suggestion'. And as for Teh Rulez - as in the ones on the Internetz that say A Writer Must Always, Must Never, Must Not etc - it's best to meet them with a pat and a gentle smile and then walk away calmly.

If you encourage them, you'll get bitten - nothing surer.

Read a lot and read attentively and read well and you'll find you know most of what you need to know.
 

Ari Meermans

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There's always going to be someone who confuses any form of "to be" with passive construction. They're wrong; fuhgeddaboudit it.

Also, what mccardey said.
 

Iambriannak

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I just ran a search on mine and was/wasn't comes up over 1,000 times. Yikes! I read my first 10 and those I was stumped on how I could switch, but I'm definitely going to run through all my 'was's to see if I can change some.
I don't agree that you shouldn't use was/to be, but it doesn't hurt to change some of them :)
 

Fruitbat

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I agree with the others.

If someone pointed it out in your writing, chances are it was overused to an extent that they found distracting. (Overuse of "was" is a very common writing error). I'd go through and change the ones you can easily get rid of. But when it would cause weird and unusual sounding sentences to change it, leave it be.
 
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AW Admin

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1. Don't overuse anything.
2. English needs was; it's why we have it.
3. Remember to have narrators and characters talking the way they really would.
 

MaeZe

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There's always going to be someone who confuses any form of "to be" with passive construction. They're wrong; fuhgeddaboudit it.

Also, what mccardey said.
:e2cookie: Oh!

No wonder I found the task of replacing 'was' with alternative verbs so difficult. I wasn't aware the suggestion didn't apply to all uses of the verb 'was'. Your post led me to investigate further.

Passive Verbs: Avoid Them and Breathe New Life Into Your Fiction
Nevertheless, both passive verbs and continuous verbs cause problems for writers.

We call a verb passive when a writer uses a "to be" verb to place the focus on the object of the sentence, rather than on the subject.

Too many passive verbs clutter writing and weaken sentences. The result is dull writing. Efficient, active verbs reduce wordiness and create more powerful sentences. For example:

Passive: Pizzas are eaten after most games.
Active: We eat pizza after most games.

Passive: There are too many people who want to go.
Active: Too many people want to go.

Passive: He is liked by most people.
Active: Most people like him.

Passive: I was taught by Professor Gibbons.
Active: Professor Gibbons taught me.​
Inexperienced writers also tend to overuse the continuous verb form, which may weaken and slow writing. Often the past or present tense would make writing crisper. For example:

Continuous: She was wearing a purple jacket so he would recognize her.
Past: She wore a purple jacket so he would recognize her.

Continuous: He was going to eat before he left.
Past: He planned to eat before he left.​
To correctly use the continuous tense, use it only when the action is necessarily ongoing. For example:

Correct: I was walking the dog when the car hit the tree.
Incorrect: I walked the dog when the car hit the tree.

Correct: She was talking on the phone when I dropped by.
Incorrect: She talked on the phone when I dropped by.​
The past tense in either of these examples would change the meaning of the sentence, and the past continuous works better. Tip: Notice that the word "when" often accompanies the correct use of the continuous form because something interrupts the action.

Questions also correctly use the continuous verb form:

Correct: Are you planning to drive with us?
Correct: Is he coming with you or me?
Correct: Was I supposed to meet you at 6:30 or 7:00?​
If you know the difference between these verb forms, you may use "was" with confidence when necessary and avoid incorrectly using passive or continuous forms.

I'd read other writer advice blogs on the subject of 'was' and they mostly gave examples of ways to replace the verb like this blog entry: Too much use of the word 'was'. The examples were helpful but there wasn't mention of when was cannot or need not be replaced.

The world makes a little more sense today. :D
 

avekevin

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The point of these posts is really to make you focus on an action-centric verb. To that end, it will make your narrative stronger. If it's being used to describe an object (The car is red), then it's a perfectly appropriate use of the verb.

I've been pretty attentive of using "to be", and I still have ~200 uses. Most of that is in dialog, and there might be a dozen or so in the actual text.

Sometimes "to be" is the best approach, because it's how people speak in current vernacular. The key is being aware and conscious of your decisions.


"Still, the thought of being trapped outside of town for the night, or even for a couple of hours, was about the least inviting thing he could think of."

You could write something like this to make it more intimate and action-oriented:

Still, a night, or even a few hours, trapped outside of town worried him. He feared even the thought of that possibility.


What if something literally *is* something else, and that's what you are trying to say? Rose was his cousin. It was an invitation. The plastic on the headlight was cracked.

It depends on the context. Verify that you have both a strong subject and object:

It was an invitation --> The envelope contained an invitation.
The plastic... --> A large crack ran vertically down the headlight.


HTH,
Kevin
 
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BethS

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I've seen more than a fair share of posts, forums and websites encouraging you to kill any form of the word "to be," including the word "was."

This is absurd advice. Truly. And if you don't believe me, just flip through some published novels, novels you like, and start counting all the times you encounter some form of the verb "to be." That should put things in perspective.
 

AW Admin

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:e2cookie: Oh!

No wonder I found the task of replacing 'was' with alternative verbs so difficult. I wasn't aware the suggestion didn't apply to all uses of the verb 'was'. Your post led me to investigate further.

Passive Verbs: Avoid Them and Breathe New Life Into Your Fiction

I'd read other writer advice blogs on the subject of 'was' and they mostly gave examples of ways to replace the verb like this blog entry: Too much use of the word 'was'. The examples were helpful but there wasn't mention of when was cannot or need not be replaced.

The world makes a little more sense today. :D

I'm old and cranky, but I wish people would stop using the phrase passive verb.

It's not accurate. It's not correct. We don't have passive verbs in English.

What we have is passive voice.

Passive voice uses a main verb in the past tense + a form of the To Be verb (like was; it can also sometimes use other helping verbs instead of To be; like get or have) + the grammatical subject (the person or thing performing the action of the main verb) is missing or unclear.

Using passive voice is not necessarily wrong. Sometimes you want the entity responsible for doing something to be unclear. Sometimes it is unclear; which is why you'll see passive voice used in some kinds of writing by preference.

There are a gazillion threads about passive voice.
 

BethS

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:e2cookie: Oh!

No wonder I found the task of replacing 'was' with alternative verbs so difficult. I wasn't aware the suggestion didn't apply to all uses of the verb 'was'. Your post led me to investigate further.

Passive Verbs: Avoid Them and Breathe New Life Into Your Fiction

Don't get too excited. :) There are errors in the passage you quoted.

We call a verb passive when a writer uses a "to be" verb to place the focus on the object of the sentence, rather than on the subject.

It's the sentence construction that's passive, which is called "passive voice" and not "passive verb."

Passive: There are too many people who want to go.
Active: Too many people want to go.

The first one is not passive voice or passive anything. It's simply wordy.

Correct: Was I supposed to meet you at 6:30 or 7:00?

Nothing wrong with the sentence, but it's not an example of the progressive (what that writer calls continuous) verb form.

Purdue Owl has an excellent reputation for all things grammatical. Better to consult a reputable source rather than someone's blog.
 

BethS

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"Still, the thought of being trapped outside of town for the night, or even for a couple of hours, was about the least inviting thing he could think of."
You could write something like this to make it more intimate and action-oriented:

Still, a night, or even a few hours, trapped outside of town worried him. He feared even the thought of that possibility.

That's a different way to write it and perfectly grammatical, but it also, by using such phrasing as "worried him" and "he feared," shifts the narrative from a fairly close, natural-sounding perspective to one that's more distant and telling (explaining). The OP's original sentence was just fine.
 
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mccardey

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That's a different way to write it and perfectly grammatical, but it also, by using such phrasing as "worried him" and "he feared," shifts the narrative from a fairly close, natural-sounding perspective to one that's more distant and telling (explaining). The OP's original sentence was just fine.
Yes. This x 100. This is exactly the sort of thing that makes me twitch when people use Teh Rulez in their polishing. Good writing is about far more than Do a search for this and change it to that. One word is not the same as another word. Voice and nuance will tend to get lost with that kind of thinking.
 

Laer Carroll

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To-be verbs are perfectly fine if you have a good reason for using them.

So is passive voice: when you want to place the emphasis on the the verb or the object of a sentence instead of the subject.
 

blacbird

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This is absurd advice. Truly. And if you don't believe me, just flip through some published novels, novels you like, and start counting all the times you encounter some form of the verb "to be." That should put things in perspective.

Repeated, for emphasis. Anybody who tells you categorically to get rid of "was" or any other "to be" verb form is to be ignored. And, yes, go look at work by some good writers, and you'll get the point.

caw
 

Roxxsmom

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I've never, ever read a craft book that says one should always avoid using the word "was" (or is or any other permutation of "to be"). I have read books, and been told by instructors, that overuse of "to be" verbs like "was," "were," and "is" can weaken one's prose. However, there are times when the use of a to be verb is the best, possibly even the only option.

Some examples of when to be verbs are used in ways that can sometimes be modified, and possibly should.

1. Passive voice. Has a place, but inexperienced writers can overuse it. If you're one of those, go over your sentences to see if you can reword them to so the subject is performing the main action. Instead of "I was thrown from the horse," you could write, "The horse threw me," or "I fell off the horse when he bucked." Sometimes a writer wants to emphasize the experience of the recipient of an action, however. Then it makes sense to use passive voice.

2. When writers use "to be" verbs when they could be using a stronger, more evocative verb. For instance, Tom's house is much taller than the other houses on his block,you could write something like, Tom's house towered over the other houses on his block.

Sometimes, however, the to be verb is the simplest and most direct way of wording something. It's much simpler to write: "My old dog was a Labrador," rather than, "My old dog possessed the quality of Labradorisness."

One can also use "to be" verbs in a way that establishes voice or a substitute for using a filter. For instance, instead of writing, "I'd never experienced darkness this deep. I literally couldn't see a thing," one could write, "It was dark. Really dark. So dark that a family of cave salamanders could have been doing a conga line in front of me, and I wouldn't have had a clue."

As AW moderator said, think of how your viewpoint character (or narrator) would talk or think in a given situation. Fiction doesn't always follow the same rules as more formal writing.

3. Another place to be verbs are often used appropriately, but sometimes overused, is when one wants to indicate an ongoing action "was running, is running etc.) that takes place in the past or present, or an ongoing action that is interrupted by another. It's called past continuous tense, and it's a part of the language because it has a different meaning from simple past or past perfect or whatever.

I'd suggest reading some authors you enjoy, or ones that many people consider to be very good with their craft, and see how often they use "to be" verbs, and when and how they use them. You'll likely find some variation, but I seriously doubt you will find any who never use them at all.
 
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MaeZe

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... Purdue Owl has an excellent reputation for all things grammatical. Better to consult a reputable source rather than someone's blog.
I guess it depends on what one is looking for. Sometimes just looking up correct grammar doesn't have the answers one is looking for. I've had good experience with writers' blogs, though I always look at a number of them rather than the first one I come across.

I respect the input here, so much expertise it's mind boggling. 'Passive voice' tweaked the concept, made it even more clear. But the link I cited still gave me the aha moment which started with Ari's post.

Take the three citations, Purdue Owl, Passive Verbs: Avoid Them and Breathe New Life Into Your Fiction, and Too much use of the word 'was'. I wasn't looking for grammar. And the third link didn't address what I was looking for, something that explained Ari's comment about "passive construction".

So much of the time "Teh Rulez" as mccardy aptly calls them, are told to writers while the underlying concepts are not. If I understand the underlying concept then it makes sense to me.

Not dismissing yours or Lisa's expertise, those finer points are important and I appreciate the corrected information.
 
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blacbird

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Often the problem with overuse of "was" or any other "to be" verb form isn't that word itself. It is repetitive sentence structure. The "was" isn't the disease; it's just a symptom.

caw
 

Bufty

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OP- it's rubbish advice. Nothing inherently wrong with 'was'. It's a perfectly normal word.

The only thing to keep in mind when using the 'was walking', or 'was sitting', or was whatever etc., is that it's a tad vague insofar as that construction simply suggests an existing broad 'state' - it doesn't show 'HOW' the action is being done. That means the reader's image is perhaps not as clear as intended.

In this case, ...was strolling, or strolled, or was slouching in the chair, or slouched' are much clearer.

There's still nothing inherently wrong with the 'was' anything construction - just make sure that when that construction is used it is used deliberately and not as a habit. Word and verb choice are always important.
 
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Mark HJ

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Beware the Rulemaker, my son!
The laws that bite, the clause that catch!

Sorry. Couldn't help myself.

Seriously though, writing is a craft and whether you think of the words as the tools or the raw materials, it's a matter of using the right ones, and the right amounts, the right way... but the definition of right is vague, often in the eye of the reader, and resistant to strict control.

As for things like your bears...
"The bear's claws dug deep into his back. This was it. It was all over."
The original is sharp, colloquial and to the point. Take the bold text off and you don't even notice 'was'.
 

MaeZe

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Lots of interesting stuff in those threads, thanks. This one contains a bit of a kerfuffle that I got a chuckle out of. Seems the active/passive voice debate has some parallels to the forum arguments writers get in over 'show don't tell'. In the end everyone kissed and made up, but I digress...

The kerfuffle aside, I found this comment useful about choosing a sentence for meaning rather than based on following a rule:
Pthom said:
Consider:

The Thought Police took Sharon away.
vs.
Sharon was taken away by the Thought Police.

On first glance the first is active, the second passive. But look at the effect each has.

In the first, the subject, Thought Police, is the strong element, since it appears first. Sharon is the object, secondary to the Police. If the story (or scene) is about the Police, I'd pick this example.

In the second example, Sharon is still the object, but she is now in a much stronger position than are the Thought Police. If the scene (or especially the story) is about Sharon, I'd pick this one.
Context would of course, also impact which sentence one chose. The comment illustrates a concept, not a rule. The way we construct sentences has an impact along with the content.

More from the same post:
Pthom said:
And, I use passive constructions when I want to put the reader's head off the target--for awhile, such as in a mystery. "The blood was left in the pantry." Not active, because we don't know yet, or I don't want the reader to know yet, who did the leaving. Of course, such constructions are a bit easier to take when used in dialogue than in the narrator's voice, but sometimes, even the narrator has reason to use passive voice.


From that same thread:
mr mistook said:
My original example was way off base for a question of passive/active.

"Her eyes were brown."

One thing nobody has yet pointed out is that "were" is a verb all by itself. It's a form of "be" (am, is, are, was, were, be, been).

It's another way of saying:
"Her brown eyes existed"

Is that passive or active? Maybe it's neither.

Writing Again answered that 'were' in the above example is a linking verb.
Writing Again said:
You can say, "Her eyes were brown, and danced mischievously." Or you could drop the linking verb and say, "Her brown eyes danced mischievously."

Suddenly the noun called brown becomes an adjective and the verb is danced. (mischievously is an adverb, if anyone cares. )

If you stop to think that:

Her brown eyes.

and

Her eyes were brown.

mean exactly the same thing, except that the first is a sentence fragment that demands a verb, and the latter a complete sentence that contains a verb: You begin to get an idea of just how wacky grammar can be.

Next time you have a sentence fragment try tossing in a linking verb: You might find you've created a sentence.

James D MacDonald linked to this page that I found useful: Passive Voice - Myths, Definition, and more.
 

James D. Macdonald

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[h=2]I've seen a lot of people saying you should always delete the word "was," and it's getting confusing[/h]
End your confusion: Those people are wrong.

In writing there is only one rule: If it works, it's right.

There are two strong suggestions: Do not confuse the reader. Do not bore the reader.

Everything else is a matter of your artistic choice.
 

The Otter

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"The bear's claws dug deep into his back. This was it. It was all over."

What the hell would I do with this? If I followed the advice of some people online, they would have me re-write that sentence to: "The bear's claws dug deep into the man's back. A sense of foreboding pulsed through his veins. His stomach churned. Imaginary shapes began to dance in front of his eyes as the pine trees began to go blurry around him. Death began to rear its ugly head as Smith's heart threatened to beat out of his chest."

I mean, I get it. Show don't tell, etc. etc.

"Show, don't tell" is a guideline, not a rule. It became a guideline because many new writers tend to err on the side of too much telling, but trying to "show" in every single instance is going to result in some really overwritten and purple prose.

A narrative voice should feel natural. If you take out every instance of "was," it's going to result in stilted writing that sounds nothing like how a real person talks.

Any advice that frames things in absolutist terms should be thrown out. "Never use adverbs" is another one I hear a lot. Yes, some adverbs are redundant and unnecessary. Doesn't mean all of them are. "Look at your adverbs and see if they're necessary; if they don't change the meaning of the sentence, consider taking them out" is better advice.
 
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